i admit it - i am a people watcher

i watched the girls throughout highschool- saw their stupid mistakes, their tricks for attention, their retarded need for others and was disgusted. i vowed not to be like that and i wasn't - until now.

Hindsight is 20/20

i hate looking back at the time since coming to college and going....

hmm... was i out of my mind? 

so back to as sad as it sounds, i'm "going back" to high school now in some ways. I'm not sure if i had changed or was just playing the great act that i'm so good at - grrr that's not what God wants for me. In highschool i heard so many times, "i like you because you are real." it didn't mean much- til now.

I hate pretenses.

 i hate half-truthes

(although thanks to Glenda Sullivan I learned to use them well). Political Science is me because I'm good at showing people what they want to see. this is sooooo much more person than i ever wanted to blog, but hey, if I know that i'm like this and you know i'm like this- maybe you'll come closer to seeing me  the real me, not just what i show you.

so does this blog mean i'm changing majors? well since this summer that has constantly been unknown. for right now, i'm here. man i'd like to just be blindfolded and led along, but i guess i already am. only HE can knows whats ahead of me. I just hope it's different from what i've left behind.