Apolo Ohno WON THE GOLD MEDAL! I am so freaking happy!! EEK! The winter Oylmpics were completely sucking because Michelle Kwan had to opt out, but that just made it all better. Alright, and that's all of my Oylmpic talk now since I'm sure most of you are sick of it.

ACT's were today, and they were just about exciting as usual. I don't think I'll get the 34 I wanted, but hopefully at least a 30..sigh..although I honestly don't think that's happening.

So the other day I was thinking about my idealism that always gets in the way and somehow manages to screw everything up. At the same time it embodied everything I am or want to be. It's just so paradoxial in that frustrating kind of way.

I feel like I'm surrounded by people (if you think it's you then it's probably not) that hold me back. It seems like I have become the scapegoat for everything because people know if they blame me for something I'll get say sorry. It's a vivous circle that we've created, and it doesn't ever seem to get any better. Venting only does so much, but starting something is like self destructing yourself.

I don't know what I want any more.