^Taking Back Sunday^

Alex wont be back for the rest of the summer.

A part of me is extremely relieved.

But another part of me wont stop crying.

I hate the way I fucking am. I am one big emotional mess. I never know how Im feeling anymore. And when I do know how Im feeling, I know that I shouldnt be feeling that way. I mean, *sighs*.

I officially believe Im the dumbest person I know.

^Avenged Sevenfold^

Alex has decided to send me a letter every couple of days. Woohoo.

And Ruth told me that he has been telling Fred and the rest of the "trombone crew" [haha] that I was the one that was "attacked to him" and trying to get back together with him. Thats just retarded. Hes the one that wont stop calling me and sending me texts. And most of the time I just ignore him. Gah. I hate boys sometimes. He sure is making it hard to be his friend. I mean, he wont fucking leave me alone. BAH

Im sooooooo annoyed with with Nick and Heather and that "group" of friends. I dunno. They just seem so selfish sometimes. Like I dunno. I just get soo easily annoyed with everyone. I hate when I do that. It pisses me off that Im sooo easily annoyed. What is wrong with me?!

And I just wish theyd be a little more supportive with all this Alex shit. Like anytime I mention it they all say Im so dumb for even trying to be his friend. I dunno .They are making me feel much worse than I already am and that kinda shouldnt be the way it is.

Besides that everything is going good. I

^ The Arcade Fire ^

Today I feel really ugly........Bleh.

I added pictures. One is of me and my bathing suit [ew gross, I know.] But it actually kinda looks okay. *shrugs* I still feel ugly.

Maegan's mad at me. Cuz last night she told me she wasnt gonna volunteer at the discovery center this week when she already told the lady she would and she commited to it and the night before she changes her mind just becuz she kinda doesnt want to do it. It just seems so selfish. I dunno, I was mad. But now shes mad at me. And I feel bad about voicing my opinion but oh well. Im sick of biting my tongue around everyyyyyyyyone.

Today I volunteered with the 3-5 year olds. It was hard work but it was fun.

Today was my first time volunteering at the Discovery Center. I loved it. I had sooo much fun. Next week Im doing this camp everyday from 8:30 to 12:00 watching 3-5 year olds

Last night was definitely weird. Alex, Kelly, Alex Pilote and Tyler came over and we watched Aladin

Fun Fun a new website; heeeheee

Life is getting better. Still cant deal with all this Alex shit but hopefully itll be over soon. Im just glad I have my friends