as of lately it seems like some stuff just does not make sense or that many things have no purpose or lack hope...i think this type of thinking begins to set in when we begin to rely on our own thinking instead of relying on the promises God gives us. (His plans) they are beautiful plans which involve joyous and sad times of lament. its so easy to get out of our element (that is, Christians with a personal relationship) and to rely on our own plans, desires, and hopes. i sit many of times looking into the future (one thing man CANNOT do) and i think to myself what am i? or what is it that God has instore? what will i do after college? will i find the woman that has been promised for me to be with? ... and ah, just so many questions fill our minds and we try to answer the questions that we can NEVER answer... and when we get to the point of frustration of our own questions and trying to fathom the way we want our life to be, i think we sit back and nod our head (or laugh), and at that moment you must sit back and rest. Rest in the stillness of knowing that God is in control and not us.

I am not going to rant and rave about how mans pride is the source of this question/answer frustation thing because i think for many of us thats been preached on and we know that pride and self is the source of too much of our sin... but in all this im talking bout the importance of recognizing our Savior and our Lord as the reason man exists, the reason we have purpose, and the reason we breathe day by day is Him. i think it is so easy to look to ourselves, instead of looking to Him. we know he has answers and we know He holds every ingredient to life in his hands.

im not sure if any of this makes any sense to anyone, but i am just pouring out my hope for those around me and for myself... its so hard to go day by day and see people around you weather those you see daily or at home, the people you love and demonstrated care for, or just the strangers walking into you on campus or in any random location you may be... its hard to see whether they grasps your perspective of the beauty of God...its hard to see if they have the passion that you strive for them to have... its hard to accept that God is truley indescribable and is just this HUGELY LOVINGLY CARING JUST OPEN father. you want those around you to embrace that. you want to see fruit of the Spirit. you want to see an abandoned worshipper. you want them to have just a heart for God and experience that in return...

when Hope is lost, i call You Savior. when pain surrounds, i call You Healer. When silence falls, You'll be the song in my heart.