i absolutely LOVE my job. to most people i'm a paper pusher with a boring 9-5 job that any one would kill themselves over... but i love it. It suits me, which is weird since any one who knows me knows that i probably should hate working a 9-5 corporate job. but for some reason... i love it. i like the security of it, i like the organization of it, i like the benefits of it... i like everything about it... well almost everything. this is where most of you will check out b/c i will start kind of talking about the mortgage business (which is fine with me b/c this is more of a vent for myself anyway) I just don't understand... i've stepped up, worked my arse off, made this company millions of dollars, and while i get the recognition and respect from the people of which it REALLY matters, i don't get the respect of my peers. I had a realization day after working a HARD 12 hour work day that every single person in my department, with the exception of my friend Alyshia and my boss Michele, absoluetely hate me. Call it anger, call it resentment, call it jealousy, call it what you will but they all hate me. And i can't figure it out. they think (because i'm friends with Michele, my boss) that it is smooth sailing for me. Well... they're fudging idiots! I get here before them in the morning and i leave after them at night. I watch the sun rise and set at work... and i NEVER complain about it. i mean do they think i sit back here and pick my ass all day? The only reason i have time to even get on here and write is b/c today is the "calm before the storm". I don't know, i guess what i am saying is i love my job and my dedication and love for it make me a better employee than most (and NO, i am not tooting my own horn). And all of the things that i do here, and working the twelve hour days are not for the recognition or bragging rights, it's because i have a genuine concern for this companys success... i guess it would just be nice for one of my peers ONE time to say "thanks Melissa, you did a good job"..

but i won't hold my breath.

i found out today that by the time i retire i'm going to be a millionaire... seriously.

i think my jaw literally hit the floor.

so, Laura-anne is probably the ONLY person who reads this. and as you know Laura-Anne, i am learning to play the guitar. recently Bo gave me a guitar, and i've been messing around with it a lot, and today. i wrote a song, i don't have a melody for it yet but i figure i'll post it so you can tell me what you think. It's not completely finished i need to work out some kinks, but you'll get the jist of it.

LET IT ALL GO.

There comes a time when you have let it go.

Just release your grip, lose all control.

Let the memories fade, let the pain inside die

Leave behind the nights that made you cry.

Let it all go.

Because the past is gone

The future lies ahead.

I see a bright horizon

Put the ugly past to bed,

Let all go.

There was a time when I could make you smile.

When we’d just take off… we’d drive for miles.

Along the way the way your past caught up

Let’s leave it behind baby…

Let’s let it all go.

Because the past it gone

Our future lies ahead

I see a bright horizon

Put the ugly past to bed…

We’ve all been hurt, we’ve all cried

We’ve all had some one wipe tears from our eyes.

But we’ve all not loved the way the two of us do.

So put the past to bed baby,

I’ll take care of you.

Because the past is gone

And our future lies ahead

I can see our bright horizon

Let put the fears of your past to bed.

Baby… let it all go

Please… let it all go

Come on baby

Let it go.

That's it...

i love laura-anne.

i love christmas... i mean, i love the whole year, i love every holiday every weekend, but i love christmas the most. every one is in a better mood and i like that. if you know me you know that a majority of my life i've been in a good mood. i've mastered the art of seeing the rainbow behind the cloud. don't ask me how, i just have. and i am a genuinely happy person i'd say 95% of the time... 95% of MY LIFE. so when christmas rolls around and every one else is on my mood level... i love love love it. it's like we're all being nice to each other. we're all happy to be sharing the planet and it's just not a ton of people walking around in their little bubble thinking the world revolves around them and the earth is going to implode if their crush doesn't call or the pot roast doesn't turn out just right. call me crazy... why can't we forget these things all year round? why do we constantly scrutinize absolutely everything. it seems like nothing is ever enough. we let the little things get under our skin and eat away at us until there is nothing left for it to hide under and it has to surface. i just got WAY WAY WAY side tracked by my train of thought...

in a nutshell i love christmas becaue every one seems to genuinely happier than they are the rest of the year.

and i love it because Laura-Anne will be home... i LOVE her.