So I have just started another job hunt now that I am back in PA. It get's pretty discouraging looking for a job. You would think that if you have a college degree you could get a job. True it has only been 4 days since I have been looking and applying for jobs but it does get frustrating. Especially since for the past month I have been looking for a job in New Orleans. Tomorrow I am contacting a temp angency so I can maybe find a job that way or at least a temporary job until I find something that I want to do. Looking for a job sucks! 

So tomorrow I head out to PA. It's gonna be a two day drive. At times I can't belive all that I have gone through this month and how God has been so good through out it all. It is sad to leave this place that I have dreamed about for so long and to leave it with these circumstances. Maybe I will return but right now I think it will be a while. So tomorrow night I will be in Knoxville then to Baltimore then home to Philly. Pray that I will make it home safely!

  So tonight is my last night in my apartment. I don't think it has hit me yet that I am really leaving tomorrow. All my stuff is packed, I have said a ton of goodbyes and am getting ready to go to church tomorrow and say good bye to my friends and Skyline Family tomorrow. I don't like saying goodbyes, it was hard enough to say goodbye the other day to my college friends in the city.
I am trying to look past my fears and see what God has for me. God has a plan for me and I want what he has for me more than anything.

So this week has been a week of packing and saying goodbyes. I went out on Sunday night with my staff from church. It was really nice, they all went around the table and said something about me. I cried. I don't look forward to saying goodbye on Sunday. I will be saying goodby to my boss today, he si going to Europe tonight for two weeks.
Today I am going to the city today so I can see some people before I leave. It will be a nice break from all the packing I have been doing. I don't want to pack, i hate it!

 So right before I woke up this morning I had this ridiculus dream about my wedding. Now let me make clear that I am not engaged nor is there even the chance of being engaged any where in the near future so why I am dreaming about my wedding I have no clue. Maybe because every one around me is getting married and talking about weddings. Any way the dream was pretty disturbing. I dreamt that it was the day of my wedding and no one would help me with anyting. I had to go pick up my dress and then go home to get ready and do my hair an makeup, but I had spent all of this time seeing in like my mom or really any one would pick me up to go over to the place that the wedding was because I did not want to have to drive my self over there and no one would. So there was like 2 hours before the wedding and I still did not have my dress or a ride to my wedding. So finally my roommate Susan was like I'll ride over with you and take your car home. We get to the dress place and they said that they only had the skirt of my dress my mom took the top to get altered and I started freeking out because #1 my dress was not supposed to be two pieces and #2 that I was sure that my mom would get it altered to small and I would not be able to fit into my dress. But they ended up finding my dress but we were so late that I did not have enough time to go and get my hair and makeup done. So we have to go straight to the wedding site and I see my mom and I start yelling at her because she wouldn't help me with anything and about the dress and then I notice that she is wearing a white dress and I get so mad because it's supposed to be my day and she is wearing a white dress. My roommate pushes me into this room but on the way I pass my future husband, who turns out to be this guy I went to college with and it is definetely a guy that I would not want to marry, I can't really stand him for very long periods of time. So then I was like what the crap I am marrying him! I get into the room and we put the dress on and the whole time I am crying. Then Susan got my friends Ellie and Maria and they came in and started to do my hair and makeup and then I woke up. The whole dream stressed me out so much that I laid in my bed for like 30 minutes trying to convience myself that is not what my wedding will be like, my mom would not try to steal my day, and I would not marry that boy. 

So this is my last week here at work. Bitersweet is the best word to describe it. I can't belive that it's over! I am really excited to start this new chapter in my life but really sad to see this one end. I hate saying good bye to people, I was hoping that I could sneak out with out the whole church realizing I was leaving, but they put it in our weekly update so now I am being cornered about leaving. One thing I am not sad about is leaving my acctual job, I feel like I am not really doing much of anything right now. I have like no work to do and no one has really given me anything to do so I'm just kind of bored writting on phusebox.
So one thing I can say is that I am really excited to have my own apartment and to decorate and to just have my own space. I am scared to go some where that I don't know anyone, I did in Murfreesboro and I can do it again!

So there are a lot of things that I would like to do for a job, but one of the things that I wish that I could do more than anything right now is to be a wedding cake maker. I love looking at wedding cakes and their design. I love bakeing and so this would be a practical use for my love of baking. I wish that I could open up my own bake shop and design wedding cakes all day long! Someday I hope I'll get to do it, but for now I will just practice and get fat eating all of my practice cakes.

 So if anyone is a fan of Dave Barnes you should check out his myspace (sorry Nathan). He has up these two short stories that are so funny. If you have ever seen him live you know that he is a funny guy and the stories are like you sitting down having a conversation with him. So check it out!

So I got the new Relevant yesterday, this morning I read the article about Derek Webb, who I love, I feel like his songs are real and true.
They quoted a line from one of his songs, he played this song on a tour of colleges and people walked out after this verse:
There are two great lies that I've heard:
"The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die"
And that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class Republican
And if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

I didn't find it offensive, I was partially excited to have some one finally say that, but I was also hit with the fact that two years ago I would have walked out. I thank god for growing me and for showing me that He does not fit into a mold and neither do his followers we all come in diffrent shapes, sizes, colors, and political beliefs. God made us unique and he puts people in front of us to challenge us and stretch us.

So Tuesday morning my roommate and I travled to New Orleans. We were drove through Times Square at 5am and were eatig benets at Cafe Du Mond by 2pm! It was a crazy trip but it was really great for both of us. I had a job interview and founs a great apartment and meet some really awesome people. God totally confrimed that I was doing what he wanted me to do by moving down. I still get waves of fear but I need to be steadfast in knowing that God is with me through all of this. Still need to find a job, but I have enough money saved that I can live off of for two months so I should be good. I also heard some great things about churches there and about house churches and church plants that are starting up.
New Orleans is not what it once was but I think it is slowly coming back. We drove through some of the hard hit areas and were shocked because it did not look like we were in the US anymore. We also went to Mississippi for a day so Susan could see her town and I think that it was  a lot worse than New Orleans. It was like looking at pictures from WWII of bombed out citys. Huge casinos just gone, house left as rubble and it's been like 8 months and it still looks like a mess.
It was a hard trip for both Susan and I, but it was also a really good trip! I am excited to get down there and to move in and just start living down there! Still need to find a job ASAP!

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeeed, he who watches over Israel will niether slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you-
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121

So on Saturday my church will be hosting the largest Easter Egg Hunt in the country! We have stuffed over 20,000 eggs! I will be manning the snack tables. We will be having snow cones and cotton candy! Pray that God would bless us with great weather and that we will be able to touch people with the love of Christ!

So I ran into one of my old high school crushes on myspace. We were pretty good friends in high school butlost touch after freshman year of college. So I message with one of our inside jokes in it. I found myself all weekend waiting for him to reply. Pathetic, I know! So today I go to check my email and I have a message and a friend request from Rob. Seriously I felt like I was a junior in high school again waiting for chior practice so I could talk to him! Why am I such a big dork? Why do I get butterflys in my belly becasue Rob wants to be my friend? Sometimes I hate being a girl.

So does anyone else think that it is strange for it to snow in April? I was wearing flip flops last week what the heck is goin on?

 So I just got backin from Atlanta. I was there for Thirsty. You know what I came home with?
That's right! They had Passion 06 cd's on sale early and for $9.99! It was a great trip all around, I felt like I had been there for a week when it was only two days. I was not ready to come home, but I am glad to be back in my bed and to get back to work!

so it's starting to feel like spring here. there are little flowers pokeing up out of the ground. I get excited!

So my roommate is really into this singer Jason Morant and she played me this song a few months ago by his and I was like yeah it's good. But I heard it again last night and I can't get it out of my head. The chorus is just "My life is in your hands" and as I sit here and I can't get it out of my head I realized that right now that is how I am living. My life is in his hands because I seriously have no idea what my future will look like or how anything will turn out because I have totally put it in his hands. Every now and then I totally want to snatch it back and take control again but it's kind of a peace to know that my life is in His hands, because I know He won't screw it up.

 Ok so I have told my boss, my pastor, and my small group so I guess I will let phusebox know too. I am moving to New Orleans in June. I have been thinking about it for a while but it really came to a head in January at Passion. It was a very hard descion to make, but once i realized that it was God and not me it was easy to take that step. I love Skyline and I all the friends I have here but I know that God wants me some where else and that is all that matters. So this is definetly a scary step for me. Much scarier than moving to NJ, because I didn't have to worry about a job because I had one, didn't need to worry about a place to stay because TLJ took care of that, I had friends here already, a church so it was pretty easy.
Please pray for me as I look for a job, a place to live, and a place to serve. Also pray for me as i tell people that I am leaving. I still need to tell Suzi(my mentor), Alisha (a girl I used to mentor), Marilou (a lady at church that I did ministry with) and the rest of my church. Even though I am sacred about this step I am excited because I know htat God is going to do something special and big in New Orelans and I know that I am going to be apart of that. The unknown is scary and exciting!

So I think it is starting to hit me. I woke up for staff meeting at 5:30 and have been going ever since. I have about 20 min. before I leave for Cru. I need to stay awake or I could fall asleep and sleep until work tomorrow morning. I worked out a schedule for myself. My role changes so much here at work that I have not been able to really set a schedule for myself but I sad down today and assigne myself concentrations for the day and what I need to do in those areas, then on Thursday I catch up on anything that did not get done. I think it's a pretty good system. Need to do some emails so I hope that will keep me busy till I leave for Cru tonight!

  So I took a little trip today. I am looking to a place for my church to have their summer retreat at the beach. So I made a trip down to south jersey! I love trips to south jersey because I like ti a lot better then north jersey. Plus no matter what the weather it is nice to be at the beach. So I got a little lost but I saw that there is a Wawa. What's a Wawa you ask? It's like the best convienence store. They have like everything! So I was excited to go back there and get some of my favortie food. They have a deli with hogies/sandsiches, great soup, great coffee, a fabulous selection of drinks. I don't know maybe it's not the best store but it's like a comfort becasue Wawa is essential to life in Philadelphia! I also saw 2 Jersey Mikes which I have not seen since I left TN. So yeah it was a great trip even though I didn't find a place for the retreat, but I did have a good drive, spent some good time with God, went to the beach and had some great food and coffee!