i reallllly miss how things used to be. but i didn't realize it when I had it. I realize everything I have when it's gone and too late to ever have back again.
I don't like how people change. I don't like that people move away, because it changes everything in both people. It changes the dynamics of the place they moved from. It's so inconvenient. but yet, in the long run, helpful i suppose.
{this isn't what I expected at all}
I suppose I'm just in a state of confusion right now. Finding where my heart lies and sticking to it. I guess that's what preping for college is all about...you can't simply change your mind once you're there. your inital heart's desire is your decision for the next several years that mold your life. 

but I'm doing it again...
wishing away the time I have right now.
I always hate the first semester of school. it always brings me down. second is so much more uplifting and fun and exciting. and I can't wait for it to roll around to see what it has in store for me. I can't wait for this confusion to get sorted out, and for everything to go back to normal.