You know you are a redneck tomboy when you have moments when you either think or say out loud "Damn, I'm such a girl" or "Oh my god, I'm such a girl" and if they happen to you fairly frequently, perhaps I should explain myself for you first time readers. Nicole is not very feminine most of the time. In fact, Kenny often has to remind her that she is a girl and that its OK that she is. It comes from the fact that I've lived most of my life as just one of the guys. I have very few female friends, at least close female friends. I have a few from mock, but none I'm close to. That has other implications that I'll get to later. Most of my close friends are guys. Dash, Jonathan, Mike, the Freshman, the list goes on. So it stands to reason that I'm not used to being all girly.

Regular daily attire for me is a regular shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, and a hoodie. I wear light, very light, make-up, and the most I do to my hair is straighten it. Mascara and eyeliner are only for special occasions and mock trial, and I only wear the make up to cover my really terrible skin recently. I almost have to straighten my hair to make it manageable, but it almost always gets pulled into a pony tail by the end of the day. Honestly at the moment I'm at my most comfortable. I'm wearing jeans, tennis shoes, a t-shirt from my high school AP US History class, and my college hoodie. I've got minimal make-up on and just some lip balm due to the fact that my lips are really dry and I can't deal with chapped lips.

As a result of my non-girliness, I'm rarely noticed by those of the male persuasion. That's no big deal considering I captured the attention of the one guy I wanted to notice. However it was surprising, and it never ceases to amaze me that he finds me attractive and tells me I'm beautiful. But for the most part I'm still treated as one of the guys and I guess that's fine. I rarely get hit on, which is not a big deal except when I feel like the 'ugly friend' or something. It's not that I want to be hit on, I am taken and all, it's just that it's weird to be the girl no one notices.

With me things are changing though. I'm getting slightly more girly. I guess I could give that credit to Kenny. I worry about what I look like more often, and I even wore a skirt yesterday, which is a rare occurence. I'm trying to get into shape, and I'm trying to loose some of this weight. I don't want to be the fat chick forever. I'm not sure how much I like the fact that I'm getting more girly or if it's a good thing at all. I think that part of this change also comed from the fact that in the courtroom being a woman is a big deal. I'm so used to being judged based on how good I am that I get major league pissed when someone judges me on my gender. Does that make sense?

So I'm getting used to the fact that I'm a chick, and I will be treated like one. It's like the fact that the guys are more careful around me lately. I don't like it, but I know why it happens. It's because they've finally noticed that I'm a girl. I'm less a part of the group because I lack the sufficient amount of testosterone, and they don't feel comfortable joking around me like they used to. It makes me a little upset because I feel as though they see me as if I've become a different person, and I'm haven't. But I'll get used to it.