Sometimes it so hard to deal with everything at once. I mean I hate how everyone wants something from me and I barely have time to deal with my own life. It is important to me that I am able to help people, and I don’t mind giving a little advice every now and again. But sometimes a girl needs time to work out her own stuff. I’m so busy fixing everyone else’s problems, but who is going to listen and fix mine. I’m a big girl; I can deal with my own issues, except that I never have time to do it. I’ve got to handle Mock Trial and homework; I have to take care of stuff around the house. I’m listening to everyone's problems and trying my damnedest to solve them so no one goes crazy or freaks out. But I do have my own problems.

Take the fact that I’m in a serious long distance relationship, and I really love him. But we never get to talk because he is always at work or asleep because he works so much. No one get’s that, ever, they all want to judge and go nuts on me. I’m sick of the doubts and the snide comments. ‘Are you sure he isn’t cheating?’ Yes I’m pretty sure. ‘Why don’t you find someone closer?’ No one else can get any closer considering the fact Kennny takes up all of my heart and soul. Its really hard to go through life in love with a person you can’t see. No one ever thinks about that.

And for about five minutes I’d like to not think about the rest of the world. Nicole hasn’t had any ‘just herself’ time in a while. I haven’t slowed down long enough to do more than eat and half sleep. This is no way to live. I want to have time when it’s just relax and do nothing. I want to take the time to look pretty, not just decent for class or mock trial, but really pretty. After everything I think I’m owed that. Nicole hasn’t always looked tired and worn out. Sometimes she was fairly attractive for a plain girl who need to lose some weight. I mean the most me time I’ve had is a hot shower and maybe a little blogging. This is just crazy.