I used to have this confidence; it rarely wavered and made me strong. I used to not care about the scars that mark my body, said they gave me character. I once didn't worry about the callouses on my hands and the roughness of my skin in places. I wasn't bothered by the tanlines and I didn't overstress about the weight I'm desperately trying to lose.

But it's gone now. I worry and dislike my appearance. The scars and tanlines bother me more now. I'm self-conscious about my skin, my weight. Sometimes even my accent, which I adore, bothers me. I hate this, the worry and the stress. But the confidence is all but gone now, and I can't find it anymore.