The countdown is at 12 days and I need to lay this out because I'm a horrible person for it..

I'm layin' this out for everyone because over the course of time I have no idea what your opinion of me is and if it's changed but I'd like to say I'm sorry for being the way I have been.

I thought going to college was going to be the best thing ever and that getting out of Murfreesboro was awesome when I'm wrong..to a certain degree. By that I mean that going off to college is the best thing ever IF you don't gloat about it and that getting out of Murfreesboro is awesome because it's a chance to change a bit of scenery not getting away form everyone.

I've been an all out jerk because I thought since I was going to UT I was better than everyone else. I thought MTSU was settling because it wasn't good enough and I thought that it was cool that I was going away to college and I was something special for that. NO college, especially MTSU, is second rate. I parted ways from the majority by going to UT and automatically assumed I was going to be the cool guy who leaves and lives this great life somewhere else and comes home to people regretting staying at home.

I put myself so far out in front of everyone else that I turned into something that I regret so much. I'm tired of trying to be right all the time and, knowing I'm wrong, making a big scene just to try and convince my way upon everyone else and make it seem like I won. I've been wrong so many times but would never admit it because I didn't want people to think less of me when that's exactly what happened.

All I can say is that I’m sorry for how I’ve been and I hope that all of you can forgive me for how I’ve been and I promise to change how I am..back to the way things used to be when the phrase “I have a red lawn mower” brought laughs to more people than it does now, heh..

So basically it’s over..childhood and all. Weird, isn’t it? I wish the best to everyone no matter if you’re still in high school, you’re in college here, in Knoxville, or somewhere on the other side of the country.

I’m sorry I wasn’t who I should have been. I am who I used to be again, though. :-)

..adios..

photo from kylewesley

Blackman vs Siegel: Basketball Homecoming. Reppin' that Nation! ha..



photo from kylewesley

Blackman vs Oakland. Wow we look young...



photo from kylewesley

Blackman vs Riverdale: why I love high school football..



photo from kylewesley

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Blackman High School's class of 2005.."

Oh yeah.

((Your true friends won't care about what you have, where you live, or what you drive. Your true friends care about who you are. That's a real friendship.))

I got to thinking the other day about moving out and starting a 'real life' where I'm on my own and I have alot of mixed feelings about it. Sunday night my mom and I were looking at some of the pictures from this past year on the Michael's Photography site (before they deleted all of them for the new year) and while we were looking at football pictures she said "Are you going to miss it?" It? What went though my mind was something like..

"...football games, basketball games, pep rallys, being on the sideline of every football game, driving to every football/basketball game..even the ones in Cookeville and White County, the Smyrna game in the rain, IHOP, Waffle House in Brentwood, roaming the halls, being lazy, hanging out after class, not worrying about anything, laughing at just about everything, being on TV, making fun of everyone else, having the time of my life, turning 18, eating home cooked meals all the time, being the only senior in a class, making fun of Bell, the Riverdale/Christmas pep rally, everything that has to do with Dante, both homecoming games, both homecoming weeks, being in the car show and the parade, not caring about what people said about me being in the car show and the parade, finding the love of my life, dancing in the prom fashion show..and not caring if I made an idiot of myself while doing so, spring break in Panama City, being hated for about a month, the senior slide show, an awesome senior week, figuring out I shouldn't play baseball/softball, prom night/after prom, being out bid on all the prizes until everyone else ran out of chips, walking across that stage, hearing my family and friends cheer, taking that little slip of paper we all work hard to get, standing for the alma mater one last time, throwing my hat in the air, walking out of Murphy Center a graduate, and making the last official summer of my childhood the absolute best one ever.."

I just smiled and said "Yeah..it was a blast."

Looking back..I feel like a jerk. I kept saying forever how I had to get away from here and how I hated Murfreesboro and God only knows what else I said as an excuse to leave. I feel horrible for just wanting to up and leave for the reasons that I told everyone..and I'm sorry.

This is an exciting new chapter in my life and when it boils down to it, I just wanted a change of scenery..to open my eyes to a new town and try life there for a while. The football team had something to do with it too..heh.

I'll miss seein' everyone and bein' around to hang out like the old days and I hope that all of you find great success in life with whatever you decide to do. I guess this is it because in

17 days

I'll have to grow up..we all will. Wish us all luck..

I've thought about listing all of my friends and giving them some words of encouragement or a little joke that always made them/us laugh but that would take alot of time so I'll say this..

To everyone at MTSU: for the past 10 years you guys have been my life. In some way, big or small, you have left a lasting mark on me that makes me a better person because from being around all of you as long as I have I feel blessed to have known such great people. I'm definately going to keep in touch with you guys for as long as you'll let me, ha. I may not have always been the best friend but I know in my heart you guys will always be there for me and the same goes for you. I'm leavin' with nothing unsaid. I love you guys.

To everyone at UT: I'll be seein' you guys and all of the bad traffic on August 20, heh.

All my life I've been around UT. I guess it's finally time to show it. My truck is already "UT-ified" and I've got a few UT shirts..I'm on my way.

There is nothing more I could have asked for than to have lived the life God gave me these past 18 years. For every mistake has come something great, from every storm there has come sunshine and that's how it's always been for us. You stay classy, Murf'sbura..

Goodbye Murfreesboro, hello Knoxville.

peace.out

photo from kylewesley

That'd be Lyndi, myself, Matt, and Taran on 'Chang' @ Kentucky Kingdom.

I believe my exact words when we got off the coaster were "Thank goodness I wore my Huggies!" That's right. I said that. :-P

Louisville was a fun trip..very tiring though.
Kentucky has some of the worst roads..

Hide and Seek is an "eh" movie, I think so anyway.

Most of you know I don't like to ride roller coasters (and for those who don't know me..I don't like to ride roller coasters). Well I rode some at Kentucky Kingdom and heh..yeah..I'm still looking for my stomach...

1 remark? Maybe I should give up..

Louisville was a fun trip..very tiring though.
Kentucky has some of the worst roads..

Hide and Seek is an "eh" movie, I think so anyway.

Most of you know I don't like to ride roller coasters (and for those who don't know me..I don't like to ride roller coasters). Well I rode some at Kentucky Kingdom and heh..yeah..I'm still looking for my stomach...

1 remark? Maybe I should give up..

peace.out

Every time I hear that song I think it's him singing it on the radio. Oh how things change over the course of a year..

Went to the lake on Sunday with Lyndi, her mom, and people from her mom's work. Drove a jet ski (they're kinda quick..heh), drove the boat..kinda, saw a gorgeous waterfall, figured out that jet ski's stop VERY quickly, and got burnt only on my nose so I looked like Rudolph, ha. Lyndi is a little sick from the lake and all but she'll be alright by this weekend..

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I'll be up in Louisville for my senior trip..even though it's July and there's no point in calling it a senior trip anymore since we're freshman again..so it's a vacation for Lyndi and I since we've been in lovely Murfreesboro all summer long :-) I'll have pictures to put up when I get home so..yeah..let's be gettin' comment happy :)

26 days.
May = apartment = party = oh dear lord where did these pictures come from?!
I can't wait :)

peace.out

CHECK OUT NEW PICS IN THE PHOTOBOX!

I think I've got too many websites, heh.

Xanga:
http://www.xanga.com/kdub05

TheFaceBook:
http://tennessee.thefacebook.com/profile.php?id=9417669

and of course, my phusebox.

Where did everyone who took a senior trip go to this summer? I do believe I'll be in Louisville, KY next weekend at Kentucky Kingdom. Cheap, yet fun. :-)

Lyndi and I are on a kind of movie binge. We've seen alot of the 'summer movies,' most of which I thought were pretty good.

Good:
- Batman Begins
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Fantastic 4
- War of the Worlds
- Cinderella Man (wow, it's long)
- The Longest Yard
- Madagascar
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith
- Wedding Crashers (funniest movie EVER)

Semi-Good:
- Star Wars 3
- Bewitched
- Herbie: Fully Loaded

Horrible:
- Shark Boy and Lava Girl (we took Lyndi's 5 year old brother to see it)

"You better not leave me 'cause I'll find you, hehehehehe..(wierd psychotic look)..hehe."

College is gonna rock. 31 days..

If one were to build a time machine (if such a machine could exist) would you really travel back in time to visit what's already gone on (changing or not changing anything) or leap into the future to see what awaits you? If the events of the past were altered in every individual's respect would it benefit your future? Think back on a memory that says something like "If I could change what I did/said then I would" and really ask yourself if that event were to be altered then would your life now be different than the way it is for better? Possibly worse even? It's just my humble opinion but I believe that no matter how much you wish to change something that's gone on in the past it would be, not entirely pointless but somewhat senseless. Yes, we must take into consideration events such as death, a great loss of somesort, or a tragic event on a wide-scale (i.e. 9/11) but don't things happen for a reason? What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? No matter how badly you get hurt, either emotionally or physically, if you're still living its because something greater is meant for you. The loss of a loved one, while sad and upsetting, can also mean a new path for you or someone else to take..Ellen Dent comes to mind in this seeing as how her death came too soon yet so many people old and young came into church and came to know Christ.

One thing I'll always believe is that no matter how bleak your situation is, how lonely you are, or how hurt you may be there is always something better meant for you. We may not see it immediately but goodness always comes out of badness with everyone telling a different story.

So back to the notion of building a time machine: I wouldn't have any use for it. What's happened has happened and it did so for a specific reason. What will happen will take place as God has set out for it to. All I'm trying to say here is that don't waste your life on the "What if's" and trying to undo something that is impossible to undo. Live life for all it's worth and enjoy it with the ones you love.

If you look back forever, you'll trip and fall on your future.

Special thanks to Alex Rader for giving me the idea of the whole 'time machine' paragraph and to Lyndi Rose for allowing me to be the one you enjoy life with. :-)

peace.out

Countdown to Knoxville: 35 days

Finally bought Family Guy: Season 3 on DVD. Heh, heh, allright.

One of the most relaxing things you can do in life is go into Wal-Mart around midnight, buy some lunchables, and eat them in the parking lot..while Lyndi reads Cosmo. It's the simple things in life make it so worthwhile.

Did you know a person can have 2 waists? I figured that out the other night..

So I've been driving around with "I

The first thing I bought with my graduation money: an iPod.
It's awesome. :-)

The word of the day is orphany: a clever cross between orchestra and symphony.

I mistakenly got premium last night, er, this morning when I was at the gas station before one of mine and Lyndi's late night runs to Steak n Shake. No big deal except that it was $2.37 a gallon. $11.90 for 5 gallons of gas. Ridiculous.

Pool time.

peace

The fireworks show at Riverfront Park was awesome, however the people were a little on the rude side and traffic was, heh, a little on the heavy side.

Lyndi and I have been together 3 months today :-) I love you!

So Jason and I almost died today trying to find the Mac store in Green Hills. Fun trip I must say.

The 4th put me in the mood to have a BIG cookout and I'd like to have one at my house or possibly down at the pool sometime before the end of the month.

I have a ceiling fan in my room now which absolutely rocks. The a/c in the upstairs of my house decides to randomly shut off whenever it feels the need to and leaves mine and my brother's room at about 78 degrees..which is no bueno. This should help ALOT, heh.

I've come to the concluson that I've got just about everything I need/want right now and life couldn't be better. You guys are awesome. You make my life worthwhile. :-)

cantrell.out

Well, now I'm an official college student with a schedule that, to me anyway, is quite relaxing. NO classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays and even though all my classes are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, there is a considerable amount of time in between all of the classes so it won't ruin the day.

Orientation went fairly well, I suppose. Jason is for sure my roomate which is cool.

Me in a frat? Possibly. Shut up, I'm serious.

Every athletic team is awesome. You can't beat a Saturday in Knoxville for football and I can see why my dad loves them so freaking much but hey, they're my team now, too. Not making any predictions but I'm thinkin a football championship isn't out of the question. Who knows..

We'll move in August 20 and I'd like to hang out with everyone I haven't seen much lately before we all go our separate ways for college. There's so much to be excited about.

I know I've liked Alabama all my life and by now ya'll are probably thinking I'm jumping on the bandwagon just because I'm going to UT. My dad has liked UT since he was a kid so I've been around it all my life and I love watching UT football just as much as I do Alabama football. My heart has always been in Knoxville but I still love Alabama.

adios..

Orientation should be fun.
I hope so, anyway.
See you all Thursday!

So everyone was right. This is a whole lot better than xanga.

Orientation for UT is Tuesday and Wednesday so that should be fun. The campus is awesome and I love the "college town" atmosphere so if my past two visits tell me anything about this fall, I'm going to love it.

It's been a while since I've taken the time to sit down and write something meaningful about life, friends, people, or anything really and when I want to find the right words to write they're not there. Maybe it's because I've become extremely lazy or even extremely busy but whatever the case is I want to write something that everyone can connect with on all levels for you guys to enjoy :-).

Life couldn't get any better right now and I owe that to my friends who keep me laughing and to my girlfriend who keeps me smiling.

peace.love.kudos