I had a bad talk with matt.  its so confusing with our past.  we always fight and i don't know how to stop it.  I don't know how to not be critical with him.  When you give someone so much of yourself and it seems like all he wants to do is not care and buy a camero with ALL of his savings.  How is he going to get into college?  How will he pay for it.  He calls my parents effing stuck up and then doesn't answer the phone.

I left him two messages.  I guess this break up is worse than I thought.  I am having a hard time with this alone thing.  Blake turned out to be a total selfish jerk.  He only likes to do things if they benifit him personally, and he doesn't include spending time with me benificial.  What is that? Why don't I matter?  what is wrong with me.  There isn't anything wrong with me.  I'm not ugly and I'm not obesse, so if he's all about looks, i really don't lose there.  Especially since he's not a Brad Pitt either.  My personality:  I'm random, I love to laugh, I have my off days, I CARE about people.  I just don't understand.  Other people don't have a problem (mostly). You win some you lose some.

Boys are stupid. (and make sure you understand i said BOYS not men)

A real man....

Essence

by: Margaret Naples

It’s not me,

It’s you.

It’s not what you wear on the outside,

It’s what you wear on your heart.

I know you little,

I will love you much.

It’s not the color or style of your locks,

It’s what’s in your mind.

I am struggling for you,

Will you remember my chains?

It’s not the feel of your lips.

Only what they exhale.

Will you never show me favor?

Serve me and serve yourself, I want an angel for Zion.

So this is my new place.  I hope you don't know me because i want to type what i want.