well hello phusebox.

The ridiculous Choir rehearsal
I just went through,
made me wanna strangle a teacher&& a coreographer.
in the least violent way possible...

aye me.

I'm watching Grey's anatomy.
It's pretty good.
My dad just got me into watching it.
It brings back my urge to be a doctor.
hah sillly yah know?

I'm gonna go to California.
Study at the Paul Mitchell Academy.
&& Make it.

almosts seems a little..crazy.
almost..unrealistic.
it's going to happen.

I'm already sick of school.
Selling cookie dough to go to Europe
[buy some from me]
i'm also taking donations for it as well.

Sarah Sunshine is a Happy Lady.

English III Honors Early Day- Nichols.

Spanish II-Martin

Women's Select Choir-the brenda

Algebra II-Reavis

U.S. History Honors-Ramsey

Earth Science-Seals

    In exactly 11hours and 1minute the bell will ring,
&& I will begin my Junior year of highschool....super.

Have you ever had the feeling,
where your heart skips a beat.

&& you relize how happy you feel.

&& you're scared that it'll end.

but your just happy you feel so great.

where everything is so wonderful.

i'm overcome with joy,

just out of nowhere.

happier than i've been

and the relization of my life right now,

is becoming clearer

&& I see how truely blessed I am.
..butterflies perhaps?

&& after last time;;
i told myself i wouldn't fall again.
then i saw him smile,
&& I broke the promise to myself.

by:Sarah Gearhart.

Beautiful is more acceptable than sexy or hott.
Baby is something that I can never get tired of being called.
Hugs are a must,
but are only good when they're real.
Suprise kisses are awesome.
Sweet talk is always nice.
Honesty is the best.
4-10hour phonecalls are lovely.
Dates are best when he pays...but I'll pay too,
cause it's not fair to make him pay <i>everytime</i>.
Seranade me..i'll love you forever..haha.
Listen to what I have to say,
and if you don't understand tell me you don't understand,
and if you don't really care, let me know,
so i don't bore you to death.
make me feel special...i'll  like that.
but most of all,
make me want to be with you.
cause that sensationi of butterflies
when you smile at me,
or i see your name pop onto my caller I.D.
&& give me chills when you look me
directly in the eyes, not directly in my
...well as the black eyed peas say "lumps"
&& the Pussycat dolls refer to as "muh"
&& never lie...because i'll find out,
and i'll lose total respect for you.
don't use me...i'm more important than that.
don't think you can just
have me anytime, cause eventually,
I'll move on, and find out about your "game"
don't play me...because us "hoe's" have each other's back.
be real at all times,
&& you'll have my respect.

Lucky me.
The girl they like cause i'm different.
Cause i'm funny && sweet.
I'm wanted like crazy.
&& picky as hell.
They won't wait for me.
I'm too difficult for them.
moving to fast happens quite often.
&& they end up hating me.
Lucky me.
I'm the "problem child"
I'm a smart ass.
I'm fxcked up.
I have bad habits
that only come out from hiding
on those extra bad days.
I try.
I get no where.
Lucky me.
I should just stop trying.
I wanna be perfect.
I'm sick.
I'm dumb.
Lucky me.

--Sarah.

I'm in a weird state of mind right now.
but I guess I am lately.
I keep falling for him,
for no reason..
&& I can't stop,
&& he doesn't care for me,
but I can't stop thinking about him.
I {take this in a nonconceited way}
have my pic of atleast 4-5guys,
&& I've tried to get to know them,
and given them a chance,
&& i fail miserably,
I always come back to where I was before..
What's wrong with me?
blekk.

as for my 16th birthday;;
It went pretty alright.
I got a bit of money
&&some of my friends
took my out because my day
was going terribly,
&& they made it better.
Mcalesters for birthday L-inner{lunch/dinner}
&& then the movie that made NO sense,
&& the fact i work fairy wings
&& they wore boas
while we dressed in our best!
so that was pretty cool.
now to the next stage:
the liscense...
will she get it..

to be continued....

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all, for...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk beside the pony daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And butterfly kisses at night

Sweet sixteen today
She's looking like her momma a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and makeup
From ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
"You know how much I love you daddy,
but if you don't mind,
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses at night

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

I just like how my eye looks.

So last night was  amazing

It was the annual Amber&&Sarah night.

We made this frikkin awesome food.

&& then we colored our hair pink.

&& then we had a mt. dew fight=)

{definition: Mt.Dew fight;a fight of slinging frozen mt.dew at each other}

&& then since we were all sticky

we went skinny dipping. haha.

&& then we came in and watched Nanny Mcphee. {very cute}

Then it was about 5am&& we walked to Mcdonalds

&& got some breakfast.

&& came home to chill for a little

&& fell asleep at 7pm.

We didnt' wake up till 1pm.

so yeah funnnn stuff.

I just burned the bottems of my feet

on concrete..oh well it was fun.

i still need to purchase some underwear.

3days till i turn 16.
mmm time flies.

mmm childhood.
I am a troubled teen.
The past few weeks have been a blur.
It's like getting off a treadmill;;
You feel like everything is rushing forward
&& like you're gonna fall.
I've been out of it.
Hanging out with friends has been fun though.
It feels good to be cared about.
I've been blessed to have atleast 4 cheerup days.=)
&& for as much as I dislike females,
the ladies i've hung out with make me smile.

So the other night,
I was at the Underoath concert,
and for those of you who don't know,
it's a 'Rock Band'
&& at this 'rock concert' there was moshing.
&& stuff like that.
Well in the midst of all this
'moshing'
I stopped and zoned out.
There were a million things happening
around me but i just stood there
&& forgot where I was for atleast 2minutes.
In the solitary confinement of myself.
It's crazy.

well a week from tomorrow is
the big One Six.
Joy.

Welcome Summer.
No more school for me,
till August anyway.

So I've realized that i'm a substitute person.
It's like i'm second to something else.
I'm the one there to be there,
i'm nice.
I can make people laugh.
People say i'm cute.
but all in all it's just a bunch of mumbojumbo.
There is always something before me,
and I'm just there and not needed.
This feeling is pretty lame,
but what more should I expect?
I feel like crap.
I have the past few days.
I guess I just want to be something special.
ughh I'm being lame.
but that's life.

So this was June 3rd, 2005.
and October 31, 2004
and i've known this lady too long=)
she turned the big One Six today!!!


These People here {&& the lady behind the camera}
make my world a better place.
and put the little room in my heart for girls.


without this little lady..
I'd probably be unhappy,
and less caring.
she's kinda great.

This girl is a weirdo.
and we have way too much fun with chapstick.
haha {long story}

This girl makes my life worthwhile.
She lights up my life..
and i leart her.

Although he's a brat.
He's my favorite brat.
and we can act silly.
&& i get paid for it..crazy.haha.

yeah.

they make choir worth it.
and are probably the coolest people ever.


I can't live without them.
we have too much history.

I'd be dead if she weren't around.
and she'd probably be a lot less crazy without me.
I guess it's good i have her.

She one of my best.
and one of the most caring.
I'm quite sure i need her no matter what.
she's just amazing.
everyone needs one of her.

My dad; he's a weird guy.
but i guess that's why he's so great..
i mean who else goes around walmart
just to play in the toy isle?

when i need drugs and i'm in a limo.
i know where to go.

We dont' talk much anymore
but we were great friends.
and i learned alot from him.

what a crazy guy.
he made my year much more fun.

This boy turns my grey sky blue.
&& he makes Geometry a little more bareable.
Plus; he's always up for a game of I never.

yeah so last night made me think;
life goes by too fast.
&& looking through these pictures
makes me realize
a.i take too many pics of myself.
b.I need more pics of the people i hang out with.

haha.

Hope everyone has a great week.
&& to all my seniors:

i'll miss you guys next week.

a view from my thinking place.

WEST SIDE STORY.
May 4,5,6,8,9 at 7pm
Sunday,May 7 at 3pm matinee.
Siegel High school auditorium.
come see it. it's fabulous.
and I'm doing the spotlight!!

Oh&&the braces are off.

West Side Story Began for us backstage kids.
I'm getting soooo friggin aggrivated by it.
I just wish everyone would be professional about it,
for maybe 2 seconds; just enough for us to get through the first part of learning it. but everyone's just goofing off,
and I mean i wanna have fun,
but you have to get the general part down.
and you can't do that by goofing off the whole time.
ahh sorry i'm ranting.
So the Cast is being pretty cool.
Well, to me atleast.
Seems as if a few of the backstage people
aggrivate them to the highest extent.
but it's gonna happen with all those people.
I had a really bad anxiety attack tonight too,
plus, the lack of sleep is getting at me,
and the fact i haven't eatin much today doesn't help.
But i think tonight was like the going up the hill,
it sucked major and once everything gets situated,
it'll be real cool and everything.
like the over the hill thing..heck it is hump day..lol
Ohh well. sorry for all the ranting,
but that's what these things are for right?
well not to rant but write how you feel or something..lol
nothing else is really going on.
West Side Story through next next week.
My braces come off in...5 DAYS.
that is right kids...they are gone{well almost}
heh. yep yep yep.
Report card was okay. I made a D in Geometry,
but what do you expect?
C.A.P.E Saturday
at 9:30. I'm sooooo excited.
and i think after WSS i will be volunteering at Vandi.
I love to volunteer, it makes me happy to know i can help people=)
Well guys;
i'll stop the whining and everything.
have a grrrrrrreat night and rest of the week.

I found this letter.
I wrote it this summer.
&& I was reading some of the things i had written;
it was really actually quite insightful.
so I just thought I'd post it;;

Love is a flame that burns so bright and lights up your personality in an instant, it's a torch that brings a sparkle to your eyes and makes even the worst day every, better...It's when everything is so wrong and becomes so right;; when he hugs you and looks you in the eyes...just that perfect happiness and the way you feel whe you hear "i love you" and you know he meants it, and when you say it back, he knows you mean it too....love is wild, it's the Lion in the jungle of emotions...it leads you and gives you hope .. Love is kind...strengthens the weak, gives hopes to those with little...and the agony afterwards is only a small price to pay, for that feeling you find, even if you don't think it will ever come to you again, but you know, it will, and when the chocolate is gone and the sad movies are over, you'll be okay and you will be able to get up, with your head held high and yours spirits raised, knowing, even if you don't have that guy, you have so many people who love you...even if you can't see it every minute of every day...Love is amazing.

-----
&& on that topic i thought i'd write my love speech i had to write for speech class real quick.it's like traffice, it speeds up, slows down, comes to a hault, sometimes you're stuck in it with no way out, sometimes you even get angry. Heartbreak like car wrecks and idiots with no clue. This is all in relevance to love.
As one of the most misused words in the world today, love has caused alot of controversey. Take Romeo and Juliet for instance, was romeo not love sick over Rosaline, before meeting Juliet? This is as common now as it was in the Elizabeathen Era.
  It is a complicated emotion that can only be described as undescribable. We as humans have thdeveloped the dependency for love. We write songs about it, watch movies about it, there is even a day devoted to it. Love seems to be everywhere.
   Think to yourself, have you seen,heard, or used the word love today? Got one?I'm guessink of ing most of you could think of more than one. Love is on binders, greeting cards, billboareds, tatoos, bathroom stalls==People tell atleast one person they love them everyday, in the hallway, in notes to take up sace, love truely does seem to be everywhere...
   Some are in love with eachother, some love religions and some just love themselves. Love is not what you wear, where you live, love supricsingly can't be baught at wallmart or reasonably on Ebay. Love is sitting through an episode fo the wiggles with your little brother, love is staying up with a sick child, it's selfless. Llve is waking up next to someone with morning breath and frizzy hair and still thinking they're beautiful, it's seeing the twinkle in the old couples eyes, past the wrinkles, a love like wine, aged with perfections, love is blind.

&& i lost the rest of the speech..but that's it.
oh well. just felt like putting that out there.

I feel ultimately; completely...

sometimes i wish i could just say...

other times if i did....and i would be sad.

Then i realize...and everything is ok.


ahh that was interesting.

i'm addicted to tab energy drink/hair products/eyeliner

welcome to the world of Sarah


I have the most complex mind imaginable.

I speak what i feel && I remember

almost everything that made me sad; or upset at myself.

I have to write my feelings out;

otherwise i'll blow up...and probably get angry.

I have a low attention spand.


i want to talk on the phone for hours about everything.

I wanna be someones everything.

I have no hope. because i'm obease

except i'm not really obease; i'm just weird.

I don't lie; other than the fact I say things,

then immediately tell people that's a lie.

it's true; I really don't know what's wrong with me.


Sometimes I think it's hard to tell my feelings,

and when i try;i hold it in.

i have my own dirty little secrets.

although no one knows them really.

Maybe a few people.


oh well..i'll amount to something.

Ahh so this Spring Break
officially started Friday after school,
but my Spring break starts tomorrow;
I'm heading down to Ft. Waldon Beach.
I'll probably be the whitest person there.
I need a tan desprately..lol
My Great Uncle Bill died last night.
I didn't know him but I'd met him a few times.
But atleast he's not hurting anymore.
My Aunt is down from South Dakota.
She's really cool.
She's younger than my brother,
but she's 21 so it's cool.
I love hanging out with her=)
I had to babysit 2nights in a row,
and one of the nights included
me waking up at 4:30 in the Am
to clean up puke...not pleasent.
but yeah, I got a hundred $ for it;
which was hella sweet.
but yeah that's what's been goin on.

Hope you guys have a great end of
SPRING BREAK!

I have been sick this week,
it's almost over though=)
&& toinght the boys are goin to state..
Yessuh...SIEGEL NATION BABY!!

I just made up the Peanut butter and sprinkle sandwich.
i'm in love with it!!!!!!!!
oh yeahhhh

What's been up;;
I got asked to prom, it's still a maybe.
I'm a vegetaria now for a month.
I'm failing Geometry.
I'm singing at church tonight.
Chelsey has my pants.
I'm tryin out for colorgaurd.
&& Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.

but yeah..
i'm off to play some volleyball.
--------
1. Your real name: Sarah

2. friends call you: Sarah Sunshine

3 What your boyfriend calls you: Don't have one

4 What's a name you once wished you'd rather have?: Aroura

5. What is/are the ugliest name(s) you can think of?: Bertha

6. What would you name these if you had them as pets?

a. turtle: Franklin

b. goose: Lucy

c. pirate: George

d. a hot boy: Riley

7. If there was a song about you, what would it be called?: Sarah:you light up my life...hahahaha

8. What would you name your kids?: Aroura,Riley,Brooklyn,Phoenix

9. What would you name a ship you built?: I'd have to ask it.

10. If you wrote a book, what would it be called?: naked:under her clothes, a biography


Have you ever...


11. Thrown up in public?: yes.

12. Eaten or drank anything spoiled?: yes..ewww

13. Had a rip in your pants you didn't know about? oh yes

14. Tripped while checking someone out?: haha yes

15. Had to pay for something you broke?: no

16. Nearly drowned?: yep

17. Passed out?: yes

18. Had a crush on somebody: yeah

19. Been stuck in the rain?: yeah

20. Been attacked by an animal?: yes;last weekend actually

21. Caught people having sex?: yeah..ugh memories

22. Fallen asleep while driving?: no way

23. Felt attracted to someone of the same sex?: no

24. Actually slipped on a banana peel?: nope

25. Made a wish that came true?: yup


Complete The Sentence


26. I once had a dream... I was forced to eat meat.

27. I'm only racist towards... the racist

28. I don't even know why I'm... so lame

29. I'd give anything to have sex with....your mom...not really; she's not my type=) haha

30. Nothing sucks more than having to...sit in geometry

31. If I had six bucks i'd buy... INVEST!

32. It's hot. I should take off my...plastic underwear

33. It's always more fun if you... do it naked.

34. You can't eat steak without... making it out of vegtables

35. You better shut up before I... force live lobsters in your mouth

36. I really like you and everything but... your brother is hotter=)