So this semester has really tested my faith...I've done well in some areas but I still feel that emptiness...I've done things I wish I didn't but we all make mistakes...I've become stronger because of them but it feels like I'm getting farther away...My trust has been tested and I know I have failed...my patience wears thin and I feel like I'm about to break...I need God more than ever...He has gotten me through so much and without Him I don't know where I would be...He has tested alot of friendships and thank You for getting rid of the bad ones...thankyou for making me realize money has no power over me...Ever since highschool I've gone back to my depression but God always seems to save me from my own insanity...I can't imagine my life without Him...I was so blessed this summer when I went to Dominican Republic...I would give anything to go back there...that place made me feel at peace and I was away from all distractions and all the drama that constantly pulls me down...I thought I would die alone but the whole time You were by my side...Thankyou for keeping my head on straight and making me refocus...without You I would be nothing...You have saved my life and I praise You for it. From the bottom of my heart I love you and I wish there was a way for me to repay you for saving my life. These tears are not only pain but also joy because when I feel the lowest and I feel like I can't go on...You keep me going and I know I can do anything through You. You are my strength and my rock. You are my best friend. No one will ever break our bond. We are unbreakable. Keep me strong and don't let these wordly temptations take me away. I don't want to go back to where I was...I love you...and I always will. You are my one and only true love. You are my desire...thankyou for each breathe I take...I love you forever and into eternity

Hey guys!! At the beginning of July I'm going to the Dominican Republic!! I know how crazy is that...anywho in the DR a person makes a $100 a month=around $1200 a year. I'm going with many others to help try to finish building an orphanage that they've been building for 5 years. If you guys would like to donate money to help buy materials so we are able to keep building it would be amazing if you could. God works in mysterious ways and its so true. If you would like to donate some doesn't even have to be alot call me, find me, text me...whatever! I can't wait for July because its going to be a life changing experience and that...I can't wait!!

Phusebox sucks!!

Haha yeah it was one of the best...well other than working it was amazing!! On Saturday I got to go see Backseat Goodbye a.k.a Chad Sugg does his thing and then HELLOGOODBYE!! WOOOO!! It was so much fun!! Then I got to meet them and take pictures with 3/4 of the band. Jesse was in the bus....STUPID!! But I groped their boobies in my pictures...as seen as my profile pic....Then me y amigos went to Logans.....yeah pretty sure I got gravy spilled allllll over me......and the waitress cried but I told her it was alright and don't worry about it. She helped me get it out...but I smelled like gravy the whole night....chilled in Nashville awhile and went clubbing....HAHA that was interesting....

"I'm exhaustion...."-Kristin Lanae

..........I'm hungry....and I need to get my passport for Dominican Republic!! Yay!! I can't wait...its going to be a life changing experience!! Well I'm skipping my class right now....hmmm I should probably head to my next one.....*sigh*

So yeah what a freaking week!! I almost got hit by a car....walking to class....accidently hit a car but it wasn't alot of damage.....uber sick.....no voice....very weak.....uhhhhh

Hey there!! Well today was my 19th b-day...I know I'm getting old...well my day was good I spent it with one of my best friends and my family. I've never felt so many emotions at once as I have today. I almost cried, screamed all that naughty words I could think of, laugh my butt off and cry at the same time...depressed....but over all my b-day was awesome! I got alot of cards, a troll pin (LONG story), Jack Johnson cd, a BIG balloon, playdough, dozen roses(LONG and CREEPY story), lots of stuff for my ipod, SunnyD, and a BUTT load of gum, money, giftcard for itunes.....sigh.....good times

Introduce yourself in one bold, honest paragraph.

I'm Erica Ezell and I'm 18 years old. I'm a freshmen at MTSU majoring in Elementary Education....?.....I love to dance!! I've done ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop....I love to act!! I was in Pride in middle school and Theater all in highschool. I go to Calvary Baptist Church!! And boy do I love Jesus!! I work at Carmike Cinemas in town....find me and I'll let you in free!!

Tell me what people think about you.

Many people say I'm really funny, a great listener, caring....Some say I'm kinda boring? because I don't go out and do drugs and drink? My bad....I didn't know that stuff was considered "cool"....Some people say I should be on SNL!! I would love that!!   

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I let people walk all over me...When I should speak up about God I don't....I get angry easily towards my family...sometimes they deserve it but sometimes they don't...

Have you ever felt at home with someone?
My  best friend Rhanda! Honestly...she is the only one I can really depend on...I can tell her anything and I know she wouldn't tell...

Describe your appearance.

5'5'', shoulder length hair, dark brown with two chunky blonde streaks,blue eyes, average....

Biggest revelation to date?
That God is always there for me!! So many times I've pushed Him away thinking I could go without Him in this World....but I go crazy without Him!! His beauty will never fade in my eyes!! I've felt Him near and I just can't explain the feeling....it was AMAZING...Give total control...

Biggest issue weighing you down?
Not giving God more of my time! I'm sorry...

Theme song?

"Goodbye My Lover" James Blunt

Give me some final parting advice.
Listen to your elders!! They know what they are talking about!! And to all of you Freshmen!!! Do really good in school because your freshmen year is your most important one!! Thats where your GPA starts and if you screw up its hard to fix it!! Study hard!!Don't get stuck at MTSU!!

Guess who is moving into an apartment in August? ME!!

OH MY GOODNESS!! OH MY GOODNESS!! FEBURARY IS GOING TO ROCK MY SOCKS!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY!?

Emery @ Rocket town with Hawthorne Heights,Anberlin.....and some other bands!!!!

Hawthorne Heights is my FAVORITE BAND!!!

Christmas went by too fast....I've been thinking...What am I doing?.....

....Why do I not care anymore?

.........I've lost my desire.....for anything and everything

......well except dance....its my escape from the world.....

whats happened to me? i work all day everyday....and for what?

why am I wasting my life away? i've been feeling pointless...

i'm sad but no more tears can come from this empty body.....

i have no more emotion

.......tired of it all.....

tired of the boro....tired of work....tired of some friends....tired of drama.....tired of no freedom.....

and most of all i'm tired of trying to live up to something i will NEVER BE!!

why try anymore?

i've given up

I hate being alone.....but thats what i need right now....

.....................................sorry.................................................

please forgive me

All these things are happening to me! Usually it would be all bad and I would be in my retarded depressed mood...but I have been so happy lately...thanks to a certain guy *cough* Kevin? *cough* It finally happened!! I'M HAPPY!!....weird....I miss these days...being happy actually feels nice

Everyone I want you to meet my future husband!!

Everyone this is Butch Walker! The hottest HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD!! I get to see him in concert tomorrow night!! WHAT WHAT!! Mmmm I will carry his babies!! Mmmm

)Where did you graduate from and what year?
Siegel High School 2005
2)Did you have school pride?
Nope
3)Was your Prom a night to remember?
Haha it was so much fun!!
4)What was your fav. song you danced to the night of PROM?
I don't remember it was like in April...
5)Do you own all 4 Yearbooks ?
No
6)Do you remember the First CD you ever bought?
No...
7)What was your fav. movie in high school?
WTF!? Who remembers this stuff!?
8)What was your number one choice college?
UT Martin or Belmont
9)What radio station did you jam out to in high school? 107.5
10)Were you involved in any organizations or clubs? "Key Club", one club, and Drama
11)What was your fav class in high school?
Drama
12)Who was your big crush in high school?
Hmm I really don't remember....Heath....mmmm haha
13)Would you say you have changed a lot since high school? Yea
14) What do you miss the most about it? Drama, my friends, and seeing all my favorite teachers.
15)Your worst memory of HS? All that highschool drama...
16)Did you have a car?
Yes
17)What were your school colors ? Blue, Teal, and Silver
18)Who was your fav. teacher? Salty and Martin
19)Did you own a cell phone in highschool? Yes
20)Did you leave campus for lunch? Yes
21)If so, where was your fav. place to go eat? Um haha we always got pizza or subway or taco bell
22)Were you always late to classs? Nope...ok well early day english 4
23) Did you ever have to stay for Sat. School? I stayed for detention but that was during the week. I had to do like 3 hours...
24)Did you ever Ditch? Um no
25) When it comes time for the reunion will you be there? Probably not

*Does a retarded dance* I have a new job!! YAYAYAYAY!! I will now be working at Express!! Good times and great looking guys....mmmm I'm going to get into some trouble!!

So my life...what has happened....hmmm well I was trained in box at work for 2 days...and then I moved back to floor and became SUPERVISOR....WOOT WOOT....Umm well school is school...La Siesta makes me happy!! Work has been alot of fun lately....I know!! WEIRD!! Well I'm still "talking" to that guy and he mom passed away on Tuesday so keep him and his family in your prayers. His dad is going through a really hard time. So yeah I saw Saw2....the ending....OH MY JESUS!! W-T-F!? I was so pissed!! I wanted to jump into the movie and kick that....******.....but!! It was good...I saw it again tonight with mi amigo...I thought she was going to cry....GAME OVER!! Haha...sorry... Dance is going good as always. Its a great way for me to release my stress...I love it! Umm what else has happened....Oh yeah I also saw Prime with Rhanda and....HAHAHA!! I say go see it because it is uber funny!! "His penis was so beautiful...I wanted to knit it a hat." GOOD TIMES!! Well hope everyone is having a SUPER week!! PEACE

**EDIT**

Man you know I'm bored when I'm doing this...

A - Age of your first kiss: Um I believe sometime when I was really little....and thats it....*tear*
B - Band you are listening to right now: Oh too many...Hawthorne Heights, Chevelle, 30 Seconds To Mars...I could go on
C - Crush: Kevin....and Andy
D - Drink you drank last: water
E - Easiest person to talk to: Oh gosh...Rhanda,29,Ellen,Jessi
F - Favorite ice cream: I don't eat icecream...but if I do I'll eat chocolate or moose tracks
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: worms
H - Height: 5'5?
I - Imaginary friend as a kid: I would talk to my fingers?                                                    J - Junk food: I don't eat alot of junkfood. When I do its anything sour!! I LOVE SOUR CANDY!! DIE CHOCOLATE!!
K- Kindergarten teacher's name: Mrs.Shmidt(sp?)
L - Longest car/bus ride: 14 hours to Salsbury, Maryland
M - Mom's name: Lisa
N- Nickname: Sally, Eureka, Boo boo, Stone Cold Steve Uterus Face
O - One wish: To become a famous actress
P - Phobia: Being alone
Q - Quote: "His penis was so beautiful. I wanted to knit it a hat." Prime
R - Reason to smile: Waking up every morning seeing my friends and everyone thats loves me, and knowing God is by my side no matter what.
S - Some Random Fact:  I was a cheerleader in the 7th and 8th grade....RANDOM
T - Talk about: I'll talk about anything and it always ends up being retarded!! JUST LIKE ME!!
U- Unknown fact about me: I had green hair in the 6th grade
V - Vegetable: Okra
W - Worst Habit: Letting people walk all over me, being worried what others think... 
X - X-rays you've had: None! I'm a healthy child! Well I mean other than dentist x-rays thingys...
Y- Years you have been in church: My whole life
Z - Zodiac sign: Pieces

This is so weird....I haven't been this happy in a long time!! I met this awesome guy and yeah....so I guess you could say we are "talking"...he is soooo amazing!! I hope everything works out with us...hopefully I won't freak myself out!! I can't stop smiling!! Sigh

OMG today was so funny!! I got flipped off at MTSU's parking lot....hahaha what loser does that!? Well I was getting in my car and there was a car waiting so I was pulling out so they could have it....well when I backed out a car came up behind me and then all of a sudden some girl pulled in front of the car that had been waiting for awhile...well I stopped and I was blocking the car behind me and  the rude car...I then asked the car that had been there first if they were wanting my spot and they did....so I let them have it....Well the rude lady that had pulled in front of them was so pissed....Sorry they were there first!!Well she flipped me off...oh NO SHE DIDN'T!! I went OFF on this chick!! Well when the nice car pulled into the spot I drove past the mean car and she flipped me off AGAIN!! I mean really how retarded can you be!? Well I turned left and turned left again to get to the exit and here she comes again....she flips me off AGAIN!! She then added in her horn...she was flipping me off and blaring her horn...Man she is so talented....Gah road rage is crazy!! I know because I have it but seriously that was uncalled for!! Maybe if you were there a little bit earlier maybe you could have had it!! Good grief!! Well this was not suppose to be this long but I thought it was funny and you guys should have been there. I am so proud of myself and how I handled it was just so freaking awesome. Gah good times!! You guys can probably tell my day was boring and this was my highlight...oh dang I have to go to class....JOY....Here is a tip: DON'T GO TO MTSU!!

Hey everyone!! I'M BACK!! Well MI was interesting...it probably would have been better if I didn't go with my family...but what can you do? Well anywho this is what happened:

Thursday- Drove for like 9 hours with my psycho family. Saw my cousins and aunt and uncle I haven't seen in forever!! Went to some Oyster Bar and ate some nasty food.

Friday- Went to Grapevine Cafe and I proved everyone wrong!! There was this sign on the door that said whoever can eat a one pound cheeseburger you get free dessert!! Well lately I haven't been able to eat alot but I felt like I needed to prove them wrong.....I ATE A ONE POUND CHEESEBURGER!! It was the most disgusting thing I have done. I thought I was going to get sick!! Haha and all these guys were watching me to see if I was going to do it. WHAT NOW BOYS!? Then the wedding which was gorgeous!! We then went to the reception which was alright....

Saturday- Brunch. Looking for some shopping. Went to eat some NASTY pizza. Watched Fantastic 4.

Sunday- Drove home....again with the psycho family...there are just so many hours I can be stuck with them. In a hour I'm going to the movies.

....so all in a nut shell I am having a good Fall Break. Oh don't give Martha Stewart crystal meth and put her in a room with tools.....(LONG STORY) PEACE AND LOVE

Well I'm leaving for MI tomorrow morning and I won't get back till Sunday...So everyone leave bunches of comments so I can come home and know someone out there loves me!! Well everyone have a awesome week!! College students: Stay safe and have a awesome fall break!! Don't party to hard!!.......haha riiiight!!

What has happened to that little happy girl inside me? So many ups and downs...it always feels like my day is going to get better...and then it always comes tumbling down...Nothing to look forward to...walking towards something or someone I'll never get...shot down...walking all over my heart...never ending pain in my broken heart...Always screaming in my "perfect All American" home...never find a sense of peace...feeling pointless...why is it I'm stuck here alone and no one is here to save me? I've got to find some way to make it better...got to make it better...cause I don't think I'll make it through this never ending disappointment...what happened to that little happy girl? Did she leave me to die here alone....when will I ever be happy? Maybe later today maybe tomorrow? Or will it be followed by another never ending disappointmet? I am my own never ending disappointment...

This week hasn't been nice to me!! Here is what happened to me:

1. On Sunday I went to see a movie...well it was raining and my windshield wiper broke...yeah and it was raining HARD!! I couldn't see the road.

2. I got a parking violation at MTSU!! SCREW YOU GAY MTSU PARKING PEOPLE!!

3. I am in PAIN...get my drift...

4. Had to finish my speech tuesday night when it was due the next day...NOT GOOD!! I flipped out!!

5. I presented my speech...I freaked myself out...

6. Got hit on in a sick..gross...nasty..way

...this is not the week to pick on me or be mean to me...I will go off on you!! I just need a break!! Oh to all the boys out there when you ask to kiss/makeout don't say I want to clean out your mouth....Gross and awkward...Just kiss the girl and don't talk


I WANT A BOY!! Where are you hiding!? sigh

**EDIT**
OMG FREAKING GOSH!! Could it get worse!? I was at K-Mart last night and I was trying on this cute little boy's hoodie (yeah what now!? its so cute) and I was going to take a picture because it was so cute...pull out my f-in camera and its broken!! W-T-F!? FOR THE SECOND FREAKIN TIME!! WHY!!!

Ahhh sucky party....waste of 3 hours...

Mr. Bubble
RIP
**EDIT**
I dyed my hair again!!! Its now dark brown with a little bit of blonde and red. I'm going to get alot more red in it and put some more brown...which is always fun!! I LOVE IT!! PEACE,LOVE,and a little bit of HAPPINESS

--Redneck-
1] Do you believe the south will rise again? no.
2] Do you drive a four-wheel drive automobile? no.
3] Do you live in a mobile home? no.
4] Is your car still primer gray? no.
5] Do you like country music? of course.
6] Do you have a broken car in your back yard? My sister's car is in my driveway.
7] Do you own a cowboy hat? No
8] Do you live on more then 2 acres? no.
9] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home? no.
Total YES: 1

-Goth--
1] Do you wear black eyeliner?: no.
2] Is most of your clothing dark?: no.
3] Do you think about death often?: no.
4] Do you want to die?: no.
5] Are you a social outcast?: no
6] Are you pale?: no
7] Do you like Hot Topic?: Yes there are some hot guys and some cute stuff.
8] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies? Yes
9] Are you nice?: Yes
Total YES: 3

--Skater Punk--
1] Can you skateboard?: no
2] Do you wear Vans?: no
3] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends? DUH!! OF COURSE!!
4] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?: Yes
5] Do you watch the x-games? Occasionly.
6] Do you have any piercings?: yes.
7] Do you like/wear mohawks? yes
8] Do you wear Band t-shirts: yes
9] Have you called someone a poser?: no
Total YES:6

--Prep--
1] Do you say the word "like": Yes
2] Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: no.
3] Do you pop the collar? no
4] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?: no.
5] Is the only nerd u like Seth Cowen? That I know of yes!!
6] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH? yes
7] Do you like pop music: Sometimes
8] Do you want/have a little dog?: yes.
Total YES:5

--Hippie--
1] Is your hair long?: no.
2] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?: yes
3] Do you want peace?: yes.
4] Do you want to save the animals? yes.
5] Do you think war is unneccesary?: I wish it was but its sometimes needed.
6] Is love essential in your life?: yes.
7] Have you smoked pot? no.
8] Do you like classic rock and trippy music? yes.
Total YES: 6

--Gangsta--
1] Do you act ghetto?:Sometimes but just acting retarded
2] Do you wear do-rags?:no.
3] Do you like hip-hop?:yes.
4] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: Probably not?
5] Do you believe he's alive?: No
6] Do you like afros?: No
7] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?: Yes
8] Do you like to dance?: yes.
9] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit: no
Total YES: 3

--Emo--
1] Do you cry often? Occasionly.
2] Do you wear hoodies: no
3] Do you like soft music: sometimes
4] Do people not understand you?: Yes I think many people underestimate me.
5] Do you write your own songs?:no.
6] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark: yes
7] Do you cut your hair: no
8] Are you lonely: yes
9] Is Ohio for lovers?: no.
Total YES: 5


--Surfer--
1]Do you surf? no.
2] Do you wear flip flops all year-round?: yes
3] Is your hair shaggy?: yes
4] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?: no.
5] Do you own any pairs of shorts?: yes.
6] Are you tanned? yes
8] Do you want to be at the beach right now?: yes
9] Do you hate tourists?: yes
Total YES: 6


--Geek--
1] Do you wear glasses: yes.
2] Do you get good grades? yes.
3] Do you use an inhaler?: yes
4] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? no.
5] Does your mom pick out your clothes?: no.
6] Are you on the computer often?: yes.
7] Do you ever get picked on?: yes.
8] Do you look forward to going to school?: no
9] Are you shy around the opposite sex?: sometimes
10] Do you have braces?: no.
Total YES:6