We're not real with one another. We want everyone to think we're doing ok when we're not. We hide behind facades and masks and cleverly disguise ourselves as having it all together... but it's just not the case. And that's not ok. And it's especially not ok to feel like you have to hide yourself from everyone, especially your friends or brothers and sisters in Christ.

But the fact of the matter is we do.

And you know what? Honestly, I like myself. I like my personality. I think I look decent most days. I think I'm a nice person. I'm not perfect, but I think I'm alright. But many times what drags me down is worrying what YOU think about me. When you flake me off I wonder if you care. When you totally ignore me in group settings, even though I know we're some sort of friends because we've had some good conversations one on one, it hurts me. And it makes me wonder what's wrong with me. But there isn't anything wrong with me. I'm the way God made me and I don't have to conform to the cookie cutter image the world throws at me.

I struggle with worry and anxiety. I don't pray enough, and when I pray I fee like I almost forget I'm my praying to my Lord and Savior! It almost feels like talking to some mysterious creature in the cosmos. I've lost that awe I once had of Him. I freak out if I feel like something I'm doing is short of perfect. I fear it will fall to pieces and will be a failure, and I fear failure more than anything else. Sometimes I'm afraid to hear God tell me what His will for my life may be. I'm prideful. I'm so selfish. 

I know that everyone who is reading this right now has played fake multiple times. You probably wore a mask today. Are you thrusting yourself into a certain crowd to hide your insecurities? Do you dress a certain way because you feel guys won't love you otherwise? Seriously... what do you have to hide? We've all been there. BE REAL. We are a community. If we can't be real with one another... who can we be real with?

I tell you what (AO people), I'm sure I missed some awesomeness at the fall retreat. But those of you who were there, y'all missed some awesomeness  in Sunday school this morning. I was sleepy and slightly freaked out by Mike Bivens' energy, but what he said this morning really hit at home... we have to be open with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We have to stop playing this game. We can't keep saying we're ok when we're not. It's time to end this. 

It's funny... earlier today I went back to look at my old Xanga entries from high school... oh man... it was kind of painful... things that I thought were so huge then are now laughable. And one day I'll feel that same way about the stuff that concerns me now. Let's face it guys, life is short and we have too little time to waste so much energy on petty problems, people's opinions of us, and all around stupid stuff. What if we took the shift off ourselves and stopped being so petty, and displayed it outwardly to others? What a difference it would make if we truly love one another as God so intended it to be... 

Let's stop having occassional moments when we "do" something real, because that's so temporary and superficial. Let's BE real, a state of being, a lifestyle of authenticity and openness.

Let's be real.