Welp... >>> I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow.  *I wonder if anyone will miss me?*  ANYCOWS... >>> I just thought I'd update this thing before I left.  So... I'll talk to all of you guys AFTER I get back... I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!  :D    <3        -Chelsea

     yea... >>> I've been spending WAY too much time on myspace.  idc, though... >>> b/c it's better than this & xanga.  (to me, anyways...)  but I'll continue to have a profile on here I suppose...

     oki day... >>> take it easy kids... & HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!!!!!!   <3    -Chelsea

     Happy 8 Months, Jordan :D!!!!!!!
                                    <3      -Chelsea

I remember how everything seemed so perfect.  And life was just so grand.

I remember how you left for a while and broke my heart first.  You took it and you crushed it all because of her.

We still talked and you told me you loved me.  Together agian, we grew inot something lovely. 

I remember yet again how you smited my spirit.  You smacked it and struck it.  With your harsh words you slit it.

I waited for you minute after minute.  I sat and I waited, though you didn't.

I remember how I took you back again. And again you left me hanging by a thread so thin.

And now I realize that I don't need you.  Because I remember how it was, what you did, and what you'll do.

     So... >>> my weekend has been great so far.  :D  I've done NOTHING but smoke out w/ Felisha, Hannah, Jaleah and Jinny.  :D  *I love those girls SO much* :D  omg... >>> no wait... we went swimming today... omg... the water was SO fucking COLD!!!!!!!  *my nipples hurt SO bad*  omg... >>> "POTHEADS CAN'T LIE!"  (lol) <<< that's from Felisha earlier today... (she says that a lot when she's high).  omg... >>> we've been high since last nite... oh man... and then we were fuckin BLAZED!!!!!!!  omg... >>> Jordan and Ronnie came over to smoke w/ us, too (but only Jordan smoked anything) and this motherfucker was fuckin GONE by like 4 hits.  and man... >>> he had those good hits, too.  *is jealous* (lol)  the rest of us didn't get high until WAY later b/c we were waitin for Jaleah... (except for Ronnie)
     There were some things that happened that I'd like to put on here... but I can't.  So... >>> I'll put up what I did so everyone can still get a good laugh... (lol)  I made out w/ Hannah T.  *uh!!!!!* Anycows... >>> I guess I'm out.  Take care, kids, and remember:  I don't smoke MARIJUANA or CIGARETTES... (lol)  I'm STRAIGHT!  (lol)  *inside joke* 

*one more thing: TRINA!  TRISHELLE!  TRISHA!*

SHWANG!

     Glen (my mother's fiancee), ran over my beloved Mommy Kitty, Matches, at about 1:30 this morning.  My mom had the nerve to tell me that he ran over her head, and that she didn't die right away.  YOU DON'T TELL ME THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY KITTIES!!!!!!!  *My kitties are my babies...*  ::cries::  I need a hug...           -Chelsea

     Bear Bear just got a new haircut yesterday (not his first one... >>> but by far the cutest! :D).  I wuv it!!!!!!! :D  ANYCOWS >>> I just thought that this thing needed an update... oh yea... >>> I went to a concert last nite... >>> it was fun.

*This is Chris (my little brother) being stupid with some muscle shockers (lmao)*  :D

     So... >>> I went to a car show w/ one of my best friends, Kyra, and we had a lot of fun.  :D  OH!  and we got henna tattoos... >>> we both got bats, but she got "afi" put abover hers; it looks amazing... >>> she like molests her arm everytime she sees it... (lol)
     ANYCOWS... >>> just thought that this needed an update... I love you, Jordan!  :D  I hope everyone had a great weekend... :D     <3      -Chelsea

Happy Easter!
                              <3         -Chelsea
p.s. I love you Jordan!!!!!!!  *hugs*  *kisses* :D

     Hey, kids!!!!!!!  *I'm grounded from the phone, sadly*  I love you, Jordan!!!!!!!  :D  Yea... >>> nothing really has changed that much (besides that Jordan is a "naughty" boy, now... *lol*  [few of you know what I'm talkin about... I'm sure that white tiger does... LMFAO]). 
     ANYCOWS... >>> I guess I'm out.  Leave me a comment or something & I'll try to get back at cha...

                             <3      -Chelsea 

^I like it... :D^

^ this is my wittle Bear Bear... (lol)  He's such a big baby.  (lol)  no... me & Chris (my lil bro) just put him in this gte-up a few seconds ago... 'TIS HILARIOUS to see him try to walk... (LMFAO)!!!!!!!  <3  -Chelsea

*yay*  we got out of school early b/c of the storms... *sigh*  I love the smell of the rain & watching the lightning spider-web through the darkened skies...

     Happy 6 Months, baby.  *I know you told me not to do this... but I just love you too much & I love you forever & always... I promise*  

Fade:  Staind
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too
Much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That became my life 'cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express myself
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you
When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me
Just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That became my life 'cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express myself
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems that the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed I have made

Falling:  Staind
You
In your shell
Are you waiting for someone to rescue you
From yourself?
Don't be disappointed when no one comes
Don't blame me you didn't get it
Don't blame me you didn't get it
Don't blame me you didn't get it
I already told you that falling is easy
It's getting back up that becomes the problem
Becomes the problem
If you don't believe you can find a way out
You've become the problem
Become the problem
You
All alone
Are you waiting for someone to make you whole?
Can't you see?
Aren't you tired of this disfunctional routine?
Don't blame me you didn't get it
Don't blame me you didn't get it
Don't blame me you didn't get it
I already told you that falling is easy
It's getting back up that becomes the problem
Becomes the problem
If you don't believe you can find a way out
You've become the problem
Become the problem
I already told you that falling is easy
It's getting back up that becomes the problem
Becomes the problem
If you don't believe you can find a way out
You've become the problem
Become the problem
Falling is easy
It's getting back up that becomes the problem
Becomes the problem
And if you believe you can find a way out
Then you've solved the problem
You've solved your problem.

For You:  Staind
To my mother
To my father
It's your son or
It's your daughter
Are my screams
Loud enough for
You to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere
Gets us nowhere way too fast
The silence
Is what kills me
I need someone
Here to help me
But you don't know
How to listen
And let me make
My decisions
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering what you said
The silence gets us nowhere
Gets us nowhere way too fast
All your insults
And your curses
Make me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like
I am nothing
But you make me
So do something
'Cause I'm fucked up
Because you all
Need attention
Attention you couldn't give
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere
Gets us nowhere way too fast
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere
Gets us nowhere way too fast

It's Been A While:  Staind
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Outside:  Staind
And you
Can bring me to my knees
Again
All this time
That I could beg you please
In vein
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
And I leave
A burning path of flame
I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
All this time
That I felt like this won't add
It's for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It was from you
All the times
That I tried
My intentions
Full of pride 
But I waist
More time than anyone
I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
All the times
That I've cried
All that's wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
I stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be okay
But that I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Schizophrenic Conversations:  Staind
Are you afraid, afraid of the truth
In the mirror staring back at you.
The image is cracked but so is the view, here.
And the strength of a tree begins in the roots
That I tend bury into you
At least now the storm can't blow me away.
So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
To blame like me.
Should I be afraid of this face that I see
In the mirror staring back at me?
So cold were the days when I listened to you.
And you say that I'm weak so show me the proof
Because I still exist in spite of you
But I won't compete with you every day.
So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
To blame like me.
Schizophrenic conversations that
I'm always having with myself.
I hear these voices in my head competing.
Maybe I could use a little help
I still have schizophrenic conversations
Where there's no one else around to hear.
I long for solitude and peace within me
Void of all the anger and the fear.
So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
Fucked up like me.
I'll show you how it feels to be
To blame like me
Ashamed like me

So Far Away:  Staind
This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
Now that we're here,
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vein
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here so far away
And I feel like I can face day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Now that we're here,
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vein
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person I am today

Right Here:  Staind
I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

*yay*  It's finally Spring Break.  Have a good one, kids... & keep it safe... <3       -Chelsea

     *yay*  Things are perfect b/t Jordan & I.  I'm SO happy that everythin got all worked out.  ANYCOWS >>> I guess that I'm gonna go... *I'm on class w/ NOTHING to do...*
      Keep it clean kids... >>> TOODLES!!!!!!!  <3  -Chelsea

I don't know... >>> *wow*  Jordan just REALLY hurt my feelings... w/e... I saw that one coming... but it was MY fault... oh well... we'll see what happens tomorrow I suppose...

Cherish
Two circular views of blue with a gray shade
So captivating
More than you know

False perceptions
That brought forth these questions of
Truth, love and hope
Now that you're injuring
I carry you with me just
Please hold on

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Love's not all lost
But it's nailed to my cross
And crucified all that I've held on
To be awaiting
Anticipating a touch such as yours

False affection
A spawn of neglecting
A love, lust, hoax
Please understand me
That now where you're standing
Is closer then I'd hoped

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Your Iris
Your Iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
A new iris

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything
But I don't Know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying' hard to breathe now
But there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb
Try to hold this under control.
You can't help me,cause no one knows

Now I'm goin' through changes , changes
God , I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm goin' through changes , changes

Feelin' weak and weary
Walkin' through this world alone
Everything they say every world of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)
I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feel like I've been buried
Underneath all the weight of the world
I try to hold this under control
They can't help me, cause no one knows

Now I'm goin' through changes , changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm goin' through changes , changes

I'm blind and shakin', bound and breakin'
I hope I'll make it, through all these changes
Now I'm goin' through changes , changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I feel apart, now I feel it
But I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes , changes