You don't need to look for something when it's right in front of you.

ha ha ha

Heaven doesn't want you and Hell is too afraid you will take over. So I guess you will be stuck in pergatory with me...*quick smirk and gentle laugh*

 

So today was a half-and-half day back to school. Two of my classes are really good, and the other two aren't bad, but I don't really have a lot of friends in them. One class only has 18 people, and there's like only freaky people and popular people. Then me. So all the popular people sat in this circle around me, so I just kind of sat there not talking while they had their little conversations. And one of my classes has a lot of my friends in it, but I don't get to sit near them. I really hate alphabetically order seating. Unless of course you have a friends near your name, then it's cool. But otherwise it's not very fun. I know the people I'm sitting by, and they're nice and all, but we just don't have much in common. I wish we could just sit were ever we wanted to. I also thought lunch was going to be fun, because I had a lot of my friends in there, and I thought we could all sit toether like last year, but they obviously don't like me anymore because I'm a loser. So I guess I'll just sit in the front of the cafeteria with my three friends and eat lunch with a bunch of weird people. (A lot of weird people sit in the front dining room.) But oh well, I guess today wasn't all that bad. My classes are pretty easy this time, so maybe I'll actually get to read this semester. Well, I read a lot last semester, but then I never had my homework done. So yeah. How was all you kids day today?

 

Oh and P.S.: I get my braces off in two months - right at my birthday. Which I'm so excited about both. Well if I get my braces off and if people come to my birthday party. Which people seem not like me anymore, so I don't know how many people will be at my birthday party this year. But yeah, I'm still excited because I'm turning fifteen. Yay! I get my permit! Although I'm thinking if nobody wants to come celebrate my day with me, then I'll just pamper myself by going to the spa that's five minutes from my house. So I'm finally done, and if you have read all this, good for you! ;-) 

I feel like I waste a lot of time.

 

I just sit around the house.

 

Doing absoluetly nothing that adds value to anyone's life.

 

But what am I supposed to be doing exactly?

 

I honestly don't know. 

 

Now I complain I have free time that I don't know what to do with, and soon I won't have any free time at all and be complaining about that.  

 

Today I have been admring the great photography of professionals.

 

Today I also thought back to what ol' MJ said about striving for a professional look when it came to creating videos, and not a prosumer.

 

But I feel like I will never achieve it.

 

I don't have any inspiration.

 

Or equipment.

 

Or any idea.

 

And college doesn't seem to be helping me much.

 

I don't know.

 

I guess I'll just get a job in marketing or something.

 

Or maybe just be a housewife and mother.

 

There's nothing wrong with that.

 

It's noble and great.

 

I want to be a great wife and mother.

 

But...

 

I don't know.

 

I suppose... 

 

I guess I've just always hoped that I was made for something quite extraordinary... 

This is for when you have hardened yourself so deep it is hard to feel yourself again.

This is for when you have made yourself so proud you can't let that one tear go even when you want to.

This is for when you have lost everything and you still can't admit it to anyone, not even yourself.

This is for when your emotions, or what you have left of them cannot help you.

This is for when you have no control over your mind.

This is for when you beg to keep things the same, only different.

This is for when you try to scream but nothing crys out.

This is for when you cry out but no one can get to you for the bridges you burned.

This is for when you want to do something but you don't want to hurt the person that you have to do it to. 

This is for when you are so screwed up inside you can't tell which way is up.

This is for me.  

I love you.

What the hell does that mean?

Break it down and explain it to me because all I can tell you is that I am not too sure.

so.  life is wonderful.  :)  i had a beautiful day yesterday and for the first time since about july i feel like i belong somewhere.  it's an amazing feeling to have.  i am not sure if i've got my head in the clouds or if i'm just floating!  it's awesome.  i'm pretty happy right now.  VERY happy.  and i don't have much else to say.  but i hope you are able to float.  it's fun.

In other words, love is not a science. Today’s blog entry is on internet dating sites, eHarmony for example. So here is your disclaimer: Warning this blog entry may be offensive if you participate in internet dating sites and matchmaking services. Nicole is in no way claiming that your relationship will fail if it began with such a site, but she does have a very strong opinion about this issue. In this entry she will be delving into her opinion of these sites and therefore may be irritating or offensive in some way.

 

I’m not really sorry if this offends you, but honestly, how can anyone reduce love to a bunch of questions on a survey? And how on earth does a survey convey a person’s real personality? Love is not a formula or an equation. It’s when two hearts reach each other in some cosmic connection that runs so much deeper than that. It’s a sort of unity of souls. Yeah, yeah, sappy I know. But seriously folks, since when has love ever been as finite, unchanging, and perfectly logical as a math equation or scientific formula. Loving someone is rarely a logical and well thought out choice. Love is about say fuck logic and going with that tug that you feel when you see someone or hear their voice.

 

Deep compatibility… again with the survey and the perfect matches. Honestly opposites attract, a lot. Sometimes on the surface you have nothing in common, but deep down you just sort of fit. If you like everything your partner likes that’s great, except you will probably have absolutely nothing to talk about. Differences spark conversation, and they get you to learn new things. Just because two people answered some survey questions that say they are a match doesn’t mean they actually are. I’m fairly certain most couples I know wouldn’t be matched up if they both filled out one of those profiles. It just doesn’t jive at all.

 

“It forces you to be honest”: This is a direct quote from the commercials. How does that work? How does a website questionnaire make you do anything you don’t want to do? Does it hold a gun to your head and shout tell the truth or die? Does it wrap you in Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth? The answer is that it does none of this. Honestly, I have a theory, for every completely honest person who goes on that site and fills out the survey, there are at least ten who will lie. I mean, wouldn’t you want to say what you think someone would want to hear? It’s human nature to want to put the best foot forward especially when you are trying to impress a stranger or a potential ‘mate’. I watch those stupid commercials and wonder how many people have arranged a meeting with someone the site matched them with, only to be terribly disappointed and discover that their potential ‘match’ is not at all what they imagined them to be. For every happy couple, how many people are rejected or fail to meet a match. And how many psychos make profiles just to seek out potential victims? Forces you to be honest, my ass.

 

And finally, I may be a cynioc, but I believe in love. And love is not something that just ‘poofs’ in because you are matched on a website. You will not magically fall in love with a person the moment you meet them just because their answers fit your answers. Love comes from knowing a person and becoming close to a person. Surveys do not let you get to know a person. And surveys are just as bad as their ‘picture and a paragraph’ that they say is so terrible to use.

 

So that is my blog/rant on internet dating sites like eHarmony. I warned you that I didn’t think highly of those sites and that this blog would not be sunshine and daisies.

I LOVE YOU! Yes You!!!Just Thought You Might Want To Know That :)

Maybe it is because I am terrified of commitment.

Maybe it is because I hate not seeing you.

Maybe it is because I hate your parents.

Maybe it is because I only want what I can't have.

Maybe it is because we have different futures.

Maybe it is because I am still not past that.

Maybe it is because of how far I still have to go.

Maybe it is because of who I am.

Maybe it is because of who you are.

Maybe it is because of our last conversation.

Maybe it is because we seem so different.

Maybe it is because even though it hurts so bad it seems right.

Maybe it is because of that one gut feeling that hurts so bad but tells me it must be right.

Hell I don't know it might just might just be because of how screwed up I am inside.

But everything inside of me is screaming something different all at the same time....and my heart and head are silently oving the conflict.  

 Bye!

 I am leavin for ALERT again in a little bit. I will be back in March.

 Have an AWESOME 2 1/2 months!!!!!!

 I love y'all!!!

 -Jarred 

It may not excatly describe me but it comes kinda close. Please enjoy Eric Church's "Guy's Like Me" I am so sorry for being late with this post please forgive me.

why hello you cool kiddos!!!  how has life been for you?  i was sick yesterday and the day before, but i'm alive so that's all good.  i wish it wasn't so dang cold outside because i would put my new camera to use.  i need someone to hang out with and take pictures with, though. (GRACE.) but too bad i don't know anyone like that (GRACE.)  lol.  so i'm really bored.  and i hate celery.  (GROSS!!!!).  well tell me about your wonderful life.

                  

photo from

Whats up my people. Today has been OKAY! i'm way tired and on over drive trying to get school started and caught back up. Things are kinda craZy with me, with trying to figure a lot out and walking out Christ infront of people i'm not such a big fan of, but i'm trying (but please keep me in your prayers, there are a bunch of girls that ask me questions about the Bible and dating at my youth and i'm trying to lead the right life for them to see, but its hard!)

 Anyway, message me or something :)

1. last cigarette?
around 4?

2. last beverage:
sweet tea

3. last phone call:
jennifer

4. last text message:
jennifer

6: last BUBBLE bath:
ha ha ha ha Like when I was 8

7: last time you cried :
Last night I'm sure

SEVEN have you's:

1. have you ever dated someone twice?:
nope

2. have you ever been cheated on?:
yes.

3. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it?:
Yea but it was against my will

4. have you ever said I Love You?
ehhh yea

5. have you ever lost someone?:
Unfortunately.

6. have you ever been drunk and threw up?
ha ha ha Yes.

SIX things you did in the past three days:

1. talked on the phone 

2. Went over peoples houses?
3. spent the night at someones house
4. went to a party
5. went to another party
6. went to another party..

list FOUR people you can tell pretty much anything to --
1. Carmel
2. myself
3. myself
4. and Curt. although?

list THREE favorite colors ---
1. yellow
2. blue
3. green


This month have you...

Laughed until you cried:
yep.

Went behind your parents back:
no

Found out who your true friends were:
yep
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:

2. Gay Marriage?:
go for it?

3. Lowering the drinking age?
it doesn't matter? 

4. Straight, Gay, Bi ?
Straight. not bi. Like sooome people. -lol-

5. Who are the best huggers that you know?
trees

6. Do you believe in love at first sight?
unfortunately

7. Is there something you want to tell someone?
yes... GoD why am I such a panzee?

10. did you know 9 is gone?
and number 8

11. How many kids do you want to have?
-1

13. Do you wanna change your name?:
nah I'm good.

14. Last time you saw your father?

about 6 months ago.

15.What time did you wake up today?:
3?

16. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking?

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
tell somone something and say "there are you happy that I need you? huh? well....."

my mood is melonchaly...

I think this whole new year new me thing isn't really what I wanted.

I want the old me back.

Ecxept for the whole dating part.

I'm happy with being single,

since I'm traveling alot more I'll meet new people,

and as long as that persons happy.... naaaaw. just kidding.

-lol-

But anyway.

 

 

*Kaelynn.

I always forget I have this thing!

 

I hope everyone had a good New Years. Mine was okay nothing special. There a couple of things I decided I wanted to do this year in 2008.

 

1. Move to Nashville.

A lot of people think this is crazy because i have about a year left in school and the traffic from Murfreesboro to Nashville is insane. My best friend Jenny is graduating this spring and is thinking of moving to Nashville so she's been asking me if I'll move in with her. I tried convincing her to move to Murfreesboro but she hates it here. lol. A lot of friends are going to grad school in Nashville and at least I wouldn't have to drive to see them.

 

2. Go on a road trip/travel more.

 I haven't been anywhwere outside the South in about seven years. When I was a kid we used to travel and go on family vacations all the time. 

 

3.  Make more friends/be a better friend.

More than half of my friends will be graduating in May so I virtually will have very few people to hang out with or socialize. I wasnt' very social in the past year. Maybe it was because I was in school, working constantly but whatever the case I never made an effort to really spend time with people or really even talk to friends and people from church. I feel awful about that and I'm going to do better this year.

 

4.  Find a new job.

I'm proud of myself. I've already turned in a few applications. Its time to find something that is isn't as stressful and actually cares about the employees.

2008: In The Beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year?: my house

Who were you with? keri, my mom, dad, and sister

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: sadly no

Did you make any resolutions?: yes, i did

 

2007: Your Love Life

Did you break up with anyone?: no, i didn't even have anyone to break up with

Did you get anything for Valentines day?: well, i got candy and a prett necklace from my mom, but she's not included in this section

Did you meet anyone special?: totally, tons of people

Did you fall in love?: no

2007: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends last year?: yes, totally

Did any of your friendships end?: almost, but in the end things worked out, and things are better than ever which i'm totally happy about

Did you make any new enemies?: no, i don't think so

Who was your closest friend?: Carmen or Keri

Who did you grow apart from?: shauna and sam

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: nope

Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn?: 14

Did you have a cake?: well cupcakes that was shaped like a duckasourous. lol

What did you do for your birthday?: sleepover with all my coolest friends

Did you get any presents?: awesome presents

Your favorite gift: money

2007: All about YOU

Did you change at all last year?: tons

Did you dye your hair?: no

Did you get your hair cut?: lots

Did you change your style? not really

Were you in school?: ug, yes, but that's where i made my two besties: carmen and keri

Did you get good grades?: All A's baby!

Did you have a job?: nope

Did you drive? no...sadly

Did you own a car?: no...sadly

Did anyone close to you give birth?: no

Did you move at all?: nope

Did you go on any vacations?: yeah...and Austrlia!

Did you leave the country at all?: yes...Australia was the best!

Would you change anything about yourself now?: kind of

2007: Wrap Up.

Was 2007 a good year?: the greatest

Did 2007 bring any new insights?: lots

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?:absolutely! Europe and new friends!

Do you have any goals for 2008?: have more confidence and be more outgoing. Oh, and make the dance team!

If you could relive any moment which would you choose?: talking to Brandon at the Hard Rock Cafe in Australia. definitely!

Ah change. The single most contreversial thing...ever. I changed my myspace completely to accommodate the new year. Who moved my cheese? The truth is that no one cares. Change comes. Life is nothing but change. The sooner you embrace the cheese-moving, the sooner you become cool with life in general, and life in turn is cooler to you. Leave your thoughts please.

Today I got floored. Yup, in one shot I was down! It struck me out of the blue. Well, not really but it did shock me that it happened. The pain of it happening was pretty extreme! I nearly cried. 

 

Here's how it happened. Me and Jar were trying our hardest to get out cat (Tom) out of the house and back into the garage. So, we came up with the idea of Jar chasing him down the hallway and then I would catch him at the other end. All went well until it got to the part of me catching him. You see, Tom runs hard and he has a hard head. So, when I stepped in front of him to catch him he rammed his little head into my leg which had a bruise on it. I went down. It was so painful. And I thought he was hurt but he went trotting past me like nothing had happened. I was totally floored. 

2008: In The Beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year?: Austins house

Who were you with?  a lot of people

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: not this year

Did you make any resolutions?: no sir

 

2007: Your Love Life

Did you break up with anyone?: got dumped

Did you get anything for Valentines day?: no 

Did you meet anyone special?:no

Did you fall in love?: i was in love :)

 

2007: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends last year?: yeah
Did any of your friendships end?: people that i wont see again i guess

Did you make any new enemies?: idk man

Did you resolve any fights?: i dont know

Who was your closest friend?: i would have to sayGrace

Who did you grow apart from?: too many people

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: a few at school

 

2007: Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn?: 14
Did you have a cake?: no my neive had er party on mine

What did you do for your birthday?: nothing

Did you get any presents?: yeah

Your favorite gift: my iPod

 

2007: All about YOU

Did you change at all last year?: yeah a lot

Did you dye your hair?: yeah

Did you get your hair cut?: sure did

Did you change your style? every year

Were you in school?: mhm

Did you get good grades?: nope

Did you have a job?: yeah a couple small jobs

Did you drive?: no

Did you own a car?: no stupid

Did anyone close to you give birth?: no

Did you move at all?: lol just down the street :)

Did you go on any vacations?: yeah im on one

Did you leave the country at all?: no

Would you change anything about yourself now?: yeah small things

2007: Wrap Up.

was 2007 a good year?: yeah pretty much

Did 2007 bring any new insights?: i guess so

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?: that would be great

Do you have any goals for 2008?: a few

If you could relive any moment which would you choose?:i dont know man

Do you think there are good and bad people in the world?

Or do you think there are only good people who do bad things sometimes.

Honestly, which am I to you?  

So I finally did what I have been try avoiding doing for a long time. I took a cold hard look at myself. Something that was over due. I saw somone I was for sure inlove with but I saw something in that person I need to change...yes in the metaphore I am in love with myself....ok fine any day of the week I am in love with myself.  I know I need to change somethings about myself that no one else sees. The thing that those people love about me. I have had help from my brother making me realize that it is a lot like a gun fight. A western draw. You don't have to be the first to draw, the first to draw is usually first to die. You must be the first to realize what is going on. You have to be steady, calm, and no doubt insane. It is the only way that other people see you. (thank you Levi Davis for the help realizing those things). But you know what, You are the only person you ever have to live with. God has forgiven you already no matter how much you want him to forsake you. So now deal with yourself, your own convictions. What is right, to you, what is too far, for you, How far will you go before it is too far, for you only. That is the only thing that matters. It is not the girl you are dating, your family, or heck even your wife. One day they will be gone and you better has hell not look back and say man I screwed up because it will eat you alive until you are dead and those people who you passed by to help yourself are there waiting in the after life. At least you did something good for yourself when you screwed them over because if they care about you they will understand. Kinda like a gun fight, you better not be looking back saying, "man I should have shot a little to the left" Chances are if you are able to do that you are probably doing that from your back and those are your last thoughts. But I guess sometimes you just have to give in, other times it is enough just to take a positive step in the right direction. And even though it seems cliche you should just try to be there for them.  For so long I ahave done the opposite of what my best friend told me, today he stopped me from doing one of the stupidest things ever. I guess when the people you expect to screw up do something right for once it knocks you on your...well back...and you have no other choice to accept their hand as help.

this helped me today....a little.  but it's really cool how God uses people to help us through.

~Carmen~

 

Today's Scripture

“Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26 NIV).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Are you facing something today that seems impossible? With man it may be, but with God, ALL things are possible! If you seem to be in an impossible situation, get with God! Sometimes it’s so easy to focus on our problems and try to solve them in our own strength. But remember, the battle belongs to the Lord. He has a plan for your victory. He has a plan to give you a way out. He is making the things that seem impossible, possible. You can trust Him today. The Bible says that He has plans for your good, not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Start believing and confessing today, “I am with God, and with God all things are possible!” Are your bills piling up? With God, all things are possible. Do your relationships need healing? With God, all things are possible. Is there sickness in you body? With God, all things are possible! As you meditate on God’s power, He will work in your life, and you will step forward into that place of victory He has in store for you.

2008: In The Beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year?: technically, austin's house.  but really, in grace's mom's car.

Who were you with? yeah a bunch of humans, but mainly tyler grace and kaelynn

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: no

Did you make any resolutions?: not yet but i'm sure i'll figure something out
2007: Your Love Life

Did you break up with anyone?: no

Did you get anything for Valentines day?: i got nothing

Did you meet anyone special?: i guess not

Did you fall in love?: nope

2007: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends last year?: yes

Did any of your friendships end?: sorta yes

Did you make any new enemies?: yeah
Did you resolve any fights?: yeah

Who was your closest friend?: tyler and/or grace

Who did you grow apart from?: many people 
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: NONE at all 

2007: Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn?: 14
Did you have a cake?: i think....YEAH it was..........superman
What did you do for your birthday?: had a party

Did you get any presents?: yes

Your favorite gift: i don't know i loved them all

2007: All about YOU

Did you change at all last year?: yeah a lot

Did you dye your hair?: i highlighted it

Did you get your hair cut?: uh huh

Did you change your style? not a whole lot

Were you in school?: sadly, yes

Did you get good grades?: for the most part...all things considered

Did you have a job?: no

Did you drive? some people crazy...lol
Did you own a car?: no

Did anyone close to you give birth?: my aunt
Did you move at all?: no
Did you go on any vacations?: a few

Did you leave the country at all?: no
Would you change anything about yourself now?: yes...
2007: Wrap Up.

was 2007 a good year?: sure why not

Did 2007 bring any new insights?: not really

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?:probably not

Do you have any goals for 2008?: yeah a few

If you could relive any moment which would you choose?: when i held austin's hand

Well, the year 2007 has come and gone, and I for one am glad for a fresh, new start with a fresh, new year.

 

2007 was a pretty cruddy year for me. A lot of good things did happen, but it seems as if more bad happened (though I know that's not the case, three significant deaths sure makes it feel that way). I had a rough summer dealing with death, a rough semester dealing with a cruddy class, and some other situations along the way that have not made life any easier. I know it will all make me stronger though. At the end of the year I was finally looking to God in a way that I had neglected to do so during the fall semester. 

 

But I don't want to dwell on my past. I want to move on. I'm trusting that 2008 will a better year. I am going to make it a better year. Even when tough things come my way, by dwelling on Christ I can get through them.  I cannot let my circumstances define my attitude. While I do feel as if I handled the deaths over the summer pretty well, I definitely did not handle the stress from the fall very well. 

 

In November I wrote down a few goals, some fun and some serious, I had for 2008. That's pretty much all I have, no real resolutions. I just want to thrive in Christ and walk in His way. I know I have a lot of growing up to do this year as I will make the transition from college junior to college senior and begin thinking about jobs and other post-graduation things. I know I have a lot ahead of me, but I also know that through it all I will grow.

 

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -Phil. 3:13b-14

2008: In The Beginning

Where did you bring in the New Year?: Austins house
Who were you with? a bunch of people but manily Tyler, Carmen and Kalyen,

Did you kiss anyone at midnight?: lol no

Did you make any resolutions?: nope.

2007: Your Love Life

Did you break up with anyone?: sorta...kinda..its werid

Did you get anything for Valentines day?: i got chocolate :)

Did you meet anyone special?: not really "special" but i met some new friends.

Did you fall in love?: i was already in love

2007: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends last year?: yeah
Did any of your friendships end?: not really

Did you make any new enemies?: i'm not sure if we're enemies.
Did you resolve any fights?: i dont know...maybe..lol

Who was your closest friend?: i would have to say Tyler

Who did you grow apart from?: in a way, Tyler
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: a few, but i learned from them.

2007: Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn?: 14
Did you have a cake?: heck yes...do you not know who i am :P
What did you do for your birthday?: went ice-skating

Did you get any presents?: yep.
Your favorite gift: the ring from Carmen Pooch E-A
2007: All about YOU

Did you change at all last year?: oh yes.
Did you dye your hair?: nope

Did you get your hair cut?: of course.
Did you change your style? probably a little.
Were you in school?: yeah.
Did you get good grades?: kinda :( but i hate getting a A- or B so i guess they were okay

Did you have a job?: other then babysitting no

Did you drive?: no :( but this yeah i can hahaha :P
Did you own a car?: well no if i couldn't drive why would i have a car? gosh..lol

Did anyone close to you give birth?: not that i can think of.
Did you move at all?: yeah.
Did you go on any vacations?: nope.
Did you leave the country at all?: i wish.
Would you change anything about yourself now?: maybe a few little things, but not much.

2007: Wrap Up.

was 2007 a good year?: um, yeah. it had its major downfalls but it was okay.
Did 2007 bring any new insights?: sure

Do you think 2008 will top 2007?: i hope so

Do you have any goals for 2008?: yeah

If you could relive any moment which would you choose?: i don't wanna look back. i'm ready for oh-eight.

YOU

 

 

(BEING WHOEVER MIGHT BE

READING THIS)

 

IS GOING TO PUT A SMILE ON

SOMEONES FACE TODAY

 

JUST BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE!!

 

new years eve was terrific i sat at home and babysat little kids, and talked to my boyfriend on the phone.It was cool oh and i made one new resolution & i hope i actually do this. i hope you guys had a great news years.

Oh my goodness! It's finally snowing, and I'm so excited. It's snowing like crazy at my house. At first it was just flurrying a lot, then it was like a blizzard. You could barely even see to the road from the front door. The snowflakes are really big.  Ahhh! So yeah, that's my random excitedness for today. Hopefully yall will get some good snow.

 

love meg

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 all you cool people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, you know what i hate? When people right blogs about "never" getting on phusebox again because of some stupid drama. If ur gonna stop getting on here, just stop. dont write some big, dramatic farwell entry. Nobody wants to here about it, so get over it. So, while i'm on a role, I'll just list all the things that get on my nerves:

 

Christmas trees with only white lights

Over-protective parents

Stupid people

 

So that's my rant. I feel like i have a million pounds lifted off my sholders.

 

Whatever

 

I love life.Sheya. 

this is a really funny commercial!!!!  i love the yawning. lol

so... today is my last day on here... yea, yea go have a party. no more rambling from me, and no more apathy from you.

 well. its been real. its been good.its been really good!

 last thing i wanna leave you with something....

" you cant take back what you said , and sometimes it will never be forgotten, you cant take it back, but you can control what you will say next.

:) smile.

   alot of time the reason someone appears to hate you is because they are jealous, bitter, or not happy with themselves, so dont loose any sleep over it.

 its okay to be HAPPY. "

 well, thats it.

see ya Punks ;]

You can litterally cure rascism and hate by injecting love and happy music into a persons life

 

every little thing is gonna be alright 

Its craZy, things seem to be going pretty good....but i know in a few days they are gona go back to the lost and always guessing days. I hate this feeling, the feeling where i'm happy but sad b/c i know this happiness is only gona last a few more days. I Dont Wanna Be Lost Again! And i know thats just around the corner, i know the lonly feeling is going to come back in a matter of time, I hate that! What i hate the most is i cant change it, i just have to watch as it all plays out..................

 

!I Dont Wanna Be Lost Again!

k look understand that the things i do, i do for a specific reason.  most of the things are because i am dramatic and i want everything to be perfect all the time.  but some, i feel that either they NEED to be said, or someone NEEDS it done.  i occasionally notice things that other people don't and maybe, just maybe, that's my problem right there.  i try to fix things that don't necessarily need fixing.  i know, this is an extremely random post but this is one of those things that i think NEEDs to be said.  lol

====================

n e way...crazy.  i've had a fun day.  sorta.....not really.  i guess it's been like other days.  i hate when you sit down to write and you just can't think of something to write about.  nothing has happened in my life lately, nothing is funny right now.....NOTHING is interesting or worth writing about....except that nothing is interesting. lol  so...i had lots of fun yesterday!  i was a very tired individual.  i cant wait till wednesday.  and i'm totally psyched about the New Year.  so yeah i hope you have a nice life.

There should be a law about putting up those dang survey things on phusebox. on myspace you can use bullitens so not everyone has to see them. Because the cold hard truth is no one really cares what kind of gum you chewed two hours ago, or what song you are listening to. Yes I know if they bother me so much then why do I read them? I DON'T. They take up so much dang room on here. It pisses me off that I have to scroll down to get past someone thinking that other people care about that blog. Now has anyone read all the way through on someone elses survey? Like every single word? Yes I know my blogs are long and annoying. I bet not one person has read all of mine. But mine mean something I am not talking about what kind of socks I am wearing, dang. Any ways back to where I started. There should be a law against putting those surbvey things on phusebox...at least limit them to like 3 a week.  Well that is my whining for the day.

1. Is there someone you wanna date right now?
i guess...i don't really know...well yes, but no

2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
came to a realization that they would never like me

3. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
heart broken, especially considering i've never had anyone to heart brake

4. What is your name?
Megan
5. Name a quote from the song you are listening to:
"I can't wait to see you again."
6. What are you doing right now?
thinking, this

7. Do you miss your ex girlfriend/boyfriend?
no considering i've never had one

8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
no...well maybe

10.Regret(s)?
definitely. too many to count
11. What was the reason you last cried?
life in general
12. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
hi mommie
13. Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
don't have a profile song

14. Do you have a best friend?
i guess...but i don't know if they'd consider me their best friend

16. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yeah, but then we ended up hating each other again
17. What do you think of people who don't have sex before marriage?
good people that have good morals. i look up to them.
18. Do you own a pair of green pants?
no. but i do have green shorts
19. Are you more independent or dependent?
a little of both. it really depends.

20. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home?
yeah...well i was at their house.
21. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
sometimes i guess.
22. What is your favorite fruit?
tomatoes or watermelon.
25. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
being able to trust each other.
26. What is the last song to make you cry?
Ready, Set, Don't Go

27. Does anyone love you?
my parents, family, and friends.

28. Do you love someone?
yeah...family love...but not in love
29. Are your best friends pretty?
yeah...i wish i was.
30. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yes...lots
32. Whats the one thing thats getting you through this week?
my friends. 
33. Who do you miss?
friends.

34. Do you give out second chances too easily?
sometimes

35. Where was your last car ride to and from?
the movies
36. Where is one place you want to visit?
Africa

39. Ever felt that no one relates to you?
yeah. lots.
40. Had plans and broke them?
some one else did
41. Done anything illegal?
who hasn't
43. Are you a vegetarian?
no...but i did try to be one in sixth grade

44. Are you a tease?
45. Who are you jealous of?
idk
46. Are you a lover or hater?
depends.
47. Do you think your ex's new love is a player/slut?
well considering i've never had a bf, i can't answer this question now can i.

49. What/who can always make you laugh?
carmen. keri. sydnee. batey. 
50. Who's your top 12 on myspace?
don't have a myspace.

“We all when it comes down to it, would rather be loved than to love.”

Yes we all… so you say that’s not true about you well.. then I say you’re either a liar,

or you are lying! :) see that’s where the problem is ...we would rather be loved, right? Well, if you choose to love  you meet other’s needs, and if  we all met others needs everybody’s needs would be met. Kinda  sad because the world doesn’t work that way, though, right? We are to focused on ourselves. I highly recommend that on your new years resolution list you put down help a person everyday…. You don’t know the impact it makes & it might take you’re focus off you for a minute or two.

thanks..

so yeah i went to see I am Legend lastnight.  o my golly gosh that was...amazing to say the least.  i almost cried, for serious!  i spent half the movie curled up in a ball because i dont like the noise those things make AND they were jumping out everywhere.  ok.  so anyway, we get about 15 or 20 minutes into the movie and the guy is washing his dog.  and he turns on some music.  and guess what?  the song he plays just happens to be Steele's myspace song.  you know, when you have a new crush or you get a new car, you start seeing that car everywhere?  or you just see stuff constantly that makes you think of them?  well that's how i feel right now.  i mean, i like the fact that i think he's cool, but it needs to leave me alone.  i can't NOT think about it.  it's very frustrating, but it's okay with me.  like it makes me happy and upset at the same time.  dang.  this is confusing.

1. Is there someone you wanna date right now?
um....i do but i don't

2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
jerkwad.

 

3. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
heart broken def....

4. What is your name?
my name is jose.

no it's carmen

 

5. Name a quote from the song you are listening to:
i feel like a hero and you are my heroine

6. What are you doing right now?
uh this duh

7. Do you miss your ex girlfriend/boyfriend?
uh i don't really have an ex...but the person i stopped liking yes i do miss them

8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
no....i don't particularly like secrets

10.Regret(s)?
oh way too many to keep track of

11. What was the reason you last cried?
i don't know really....i don't quite remember

12. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
is dad up yet?  i need his jacket

 

13. Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
uh well i don't have a myspace but if i did and i knew what my profile song was, then yeah there would be a meaning and it would be 'i like the song, duh'.

14. Do you have a best friend?
a few actually

 

(where is 15???)

 

16. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yeah actually...lol

17. What do you think of people who don't have sex before marriage?
they are very smart

18. Do you own a pair of green pants?
army green yeah

19. Are you more independent or dependent?
sure i'm both

20. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home?
um no

21. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
no sir

22. What is your favorite fruit?
i really REALLY like kiwis.  :)

 

25. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
LOVE duh

26. What is the last song to make you cry?
idk....

27. Does anyone love you?
yeah like family...that's it.  well and a friendly love.

 

28. Do you love someone?
yes siree i sure do

 

29. Are your best friends pretty?
they are all gorgemo

30. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
uh i guess

32. Whats the one thing thats getting you through this week?
laughter

33. Who do you miss?
i miss...........you!

34. Do you give out second chances too easily?
yeah i think  i do

 

35. Where was your last car ride to and from?
ride to pastor steve's from abe and amelia's

36. Where is one place you want to visit?
i want to go to paris

39. Ever felt that no one relates to you?
i feel like that a lot but i'm pretty wierd.

 

40. Had plans and broke them?
yeah that's sad

41. Done anything illegal?
probably

43. Are you a vegetarian?
i'm pretty sure that's a no...just guessin.  LOL

44. Are you a tease?
um...some would say yes but i say no

 

45. Who are you jealous of?
lots of people

 

46. Are you a lover or hater?
probably....both

47. Do you think your ex's new love is a player/slut?
again...the person i 'stopped' liking.

and yes i think she is

49. What/who can always make you laugh?
Grace Tyler Neely Steve Keri Megan
50. Who's your top 12 on myspace?

uh i don't have a myspace but if i did this would be them i guess

grace

tyler

keri (she doesn't have a myspace though)

megan (doesn't have one either) 

kaelynn

mckenna

my uncle jonjon

shawna

jacob

daniel

hallie/maddie

allie

1. Is there someone you wanna date right now?
i dont know how to answer that

2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
I just stopped. And i thought of him more as a friend then anything else

 

3. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
it goes both ways i think

4. What is your name?
I think you should know this one but i'll answer it anyway
Stephanie Grace Bradley

 

5. Name a quote from the song you are listening to:
"Can I Sing About My Maker And Not Have You Roll Your Eyes"

6. What are you doing right now?
This

7. Do you miss your ex girlfriend/boyfriend?
i've never had an "ex" before

8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
Nope

10.Regret(s)?
Many

11. What was the reason you last cried?
i was pissed and couldn't take it anymore

12. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
SUN yes i can ride today :)

 

13. Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
It makes me happy

14. Do you have a best friend?
yeah

 

(where is 15???)

 

16. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yes

17. What do you think of people who don't have sex before marriage?
smart

18. Do you own a pair of green pants?
lol no

19. Are you more independent or dependent?
i dont know

20. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home?
ha do you know my mom! haha

21. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
nope

22. What is your favorite fruit?
i pretty much like all

 

25. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
love & Trust

26. What is the last song to make you cry?
uhmm there was one..lol

27. Does anyone love you?
yeah

 

28. Do you love someone?
yes

 

29. Are your best friends pretty?
sure why not

30. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yes many times

32. Whats the one thing thats getting you through this week?
Hope

33. Who do you miss?
No one really

34. Do you give out second chances too easily?
probably

 

35. Where was your last car ride to and from?
Lilly's

36. Where is one place you want to visit?
.....i have not a clue....

39. Ever felt that no one relates to you?
pretty much yeah

 

40. Had plans and broke them?
yeah :( i hate when that happens

41. Done anything illegal?
i'm happy to say no i haven't :) lol

43. Are you a vegetarian?
nope

44. Are you a tease?
how would i know.. lol

 

45. Who are you jealous of?
no one really

 

46. Are you a lover or hater?
lover

47. Do you think your ex's new love is a player/slut?
again i say i dont have an "ex"

49. What/who can always make you laugh?
Tyler, Carmen, Seth, Charlie, Scooter, Lilly 
50. Who's your top 12 on myspace?

Seth

Sarah


Sam


james.


.Katrina.


Macheleytoncarberbetri


Chuck


Lilly


$ ( 0++


rachel [ i♥hnd]


Daniel


Veronica

 

1. Is there someone you wanna date right now?
i dont know how to answer that
2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
their a dick head
3. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
idk man
4. What is your name?
if your my friend you should know
5. Name a quote from the song you are listening to:
no song
6. What are you doing right now?
dumb question
7. Do you miss your ex girlfriend/boyfriend?
jjfkslsjf
8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
nah i dont think so
10.Regret(s)?
yeah
11. What was the reason you last cried?
i dont wanna go back
12. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
no i dont want to cuddle
13. Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
uh i like it
14. Do you have a best friend?
more than one
16. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yeah probably
17. What do you think of people who don't have sex before marriage?
smart
18. Do you own a pair of green pants?
no sir
19. Are you more independent or dependent?
i dont know
20. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home?
yeah but were just friends
21. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
nope
22. What is your favorite fruit?
pineapples or cantalope
25. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
love
26. What is the last song to make you cry?
there was none
27. Does anyone love you?
yeah man
28. Do you love someone?
fo sho
29. Are your best friends pretty?
sure why not
30. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yeah pretty much
32. Whats the one thing thats getting you through this week?
jesus
33. Who do you miss?
right now....Dalton and thats about it
34. Do you give out second chances too easily?
i dont think so...
i dont give them very often
35. Where was your last car ride to and from?
Ian's
36. Where is one place you want to visit?
idk
39. Ever felt that no one relates to you?
once
40. Had plans and broke them?
some one else did
41. Done anything illegal?
yeah...
43. Are you a vegetarian?
nope
44. Are you a tease?
i dont know
45. Who are you jealous of?
nobody
46. Are you a lover or hater?
lover
47. Do you think your ex's new love is a player/slut?
i dont know man
49. What/who can always make you laugh?
you can
50. Who's your top 12 on myspace?
too lazy

Mood: Trying to find something to be happy about

Hey guys. Today has been....okay. Right now i'm kinda peeved,tired,lost,hurt,and there is a little happiness in there :). Its all good. Tomorrow i get to ride so i'm hyped about that and i'm gona go to the movies so thats fun! I haven't been sleeping very well. The past few nights i have been falling asleep at 2ish AM and waking up at 7:30...no fun!Well i'm quite bored at the moment so message me or something!!!!!!!!!!

i love this song! Thank You Carmen Pooch E.A for helping me with finding it :)

So yeah I have screwed up a lot in the past. A lot of things went wrong that in that moment I would have done anything to change. But now in this moment I am fine with everything that has gone wrong because it has brought me to this one place where I fine with being. I take that back and in this one place am absolutly, wonderfully, greatfully, blessed, to be alive to be here now.

I sencerly appologize for being late with this week's "song of the week" I ask for your forgiveness. I put it off and put it off and I forgot. But don't let me being late stop you from enjoying, Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason"

ok i dont care id you make fun of me but this crap is hilarious

For the first time in a long while I feel...optimistic and HAPPY! I can't wait for the New Year because I feel like it's going to bring great things. New friendships. Greater friendships with my friends now. And other thing I can't put my finger on. I just have that feeling that something good is going to happen. I've actually noticed that I'm starting to not hate the things in my life I have hated for a long time. I'm not going to say I'm happy about certain things, but I know that I still have it good no matter what. I mean look at everylook I have and all the things I've been able to do in my lifetime that not a lot of kids my age have had the oppurutunity to. I just feel great. And hopefully I'll stay this way for a while.

 

Love, Megan

 

 

 

   

dangflabit....my life is soggy.  now i can't eat it anymore because it's all goopy.  that's gross.  have you ever known someone (i don't really KNOW this person, per say.) and you think they're cool and all, but they just have this one thing that annoys the crap out of you???  I HAVE A PERSON LIKE THAT.  (grace should know. lol)  but anyway.  this is an extremely random post.  but i'm an extremely random person, so that's cool.  unlike you because you're not cool.  have you ever noticed that i don't like using capitalization?  it takes too long, so i don't even bother.  ugh.  well i think worship was good lastnight at church.  i'm not sure though because i wasn't in the audience but it was pretty moving for me, even on stage, singing and playing.  I can't wait till sunday.  i don't know why.  and then i can't wait 'till new year's.  FUN!  i have a lot of thoughts.  gosh.  i hate this!!!!!!!  do you know how frustrating it is when you want to meet someone but you just know that you could never ever build up the courage?  it's dang annoying!!  like, this guy seems pretty cool and it would be awesome if maybe i could talk to him and we could be friends or whatever, but i'm so scared to talk to him.....nothing would ever work.  he seems cool though.  i guess i'll just keep thinking he's cool and never talk to him.  that's horrible!  i need to talk to him.  i need some courage.  well....i guess that means....

WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!!!!!!  lol

(follow the yellow brick road)

TODAY IS GOING TO BE

 

 

 

AMAZING FOR YOU AND ALL

 

 

 

WHO ARE AROUND YOU!!!!!!!

I had a great christmas. I hope you all did as well. I still cant believe that our society has commerciallized christmas to the point of absolute skipping of family and going straight to the gifts.(a.k.a. skip you, its all 'bout me) I am not immune; i have to fight it off. But there is hope! Comerciallism must be fought with the reason of christmas.

So Christmas was good...different but good. I gots lots of amaZing stuff and got to hang with my family all day, so that was all good. I dont know just a lot of stuff has changed and people have changed. I guess i'm trying to say its not the Christmas i used to know, way back when Christmas was fun and a joyful time. I dont this year it felt just like any other day involving a lot of presetns. Yeah i thought about Jesus and it being his day, but i used to do that AND have an amaZing day with family. I dont really know what i'm trying to say here...i suppose i'm trying to figure it out.

Well today i'm not feeling to hot, i couldn't fall alseep till 2:10 AM! and woke up at 7:45.....so i'm tired and just kinda feel down. But i'm sure i'll be smiling in a few short moments!
Talk to you guys later

hope you all had a good one. I sure did!!! :]

hey all you fellas and lady fellas...it's Christmas!!!  HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!  I hope you all have a wonderful day with your family and whatnot.  I know that i sure am going to!  Well, that's just about all i wanted to say.  so.....yeah!

(p.s.  OMG i got a new camera.  YES!!!  so awesome...it's pretty good!!!!!!!!  AAAAAAAAAH!)

It's that time of year again!

 

piece

A Christmas Carrol

For the first time in a long time I finally feel the urge to smile and embrase what is happening around me. I see the hundred of years of it happening, and the people where I once was and now have came to where I am. I feel the urge to fall and praise why it all happened. I hated Christmas but now I see ya know it is not for me at all. It is for the little ones who still believe in santa the ones who write letters and leave out the cookies, the parents who stay up late together as their 4 year old lays asleep with them waiting for christmas. That one big fight between the newly wed couple who managed to put it behind them for the sake of Christmas. It is for the ones in the nursing home who believe that the baby doll is alive and they spend their last few dollars to buy it a new bib. It is for the mom who lost all her kids and everything she loved, who stayed home and made a turkey sandwitch for dinner. The son who sends out a letter from jail in wishes that his family has a great Christmas as he paid for the mistakes that he willingly admits to. I speak of these things out of knowledge and first hand experiance only. It is for the soldier who fights for your right to hate why he is fighting. And sit in that fox whole another 8 hours so his friend can get christmas chow. It is not for me to hate. It is for me to respect the ones who it is for. One day I will be there. One day I will shed the tears as the ones before me did. Until then I will join the the song singing. The christmas traditions. I pray to God that he stregthens me because I am nothing and have nothing. I have no place to say what I think. I was dropped into this family, and yet they caught me who am I to say what I think? Dear God bring to my knees, I pray that you teach me how to stand on my own.

 

Merry Christmas. I now understand.  

Can you answer 51 questions about the 1st person on your top friends list?

(i did not read this thing...so i'm gonna pick grace and maybe this will be interesting.)

Don’t change your top friend.

1) What’s their name? Grace
2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend? well....sorta kinda

3) Do you get along with this person all the time? we have our moments definitely
4) How old is the person? 14

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you? no but sorta....no yes i don't know

6) Is this person older than you? uh huh

7) Have you ever kissed this person? NO

9) Are you related to this person? no and Yes

10) Are you really close to him/her? best friend!!!

11) Nickname? STEPHIE...but i'm not supposed to call her that.

13) How many times do you talk to this person in a week? A LOT 

14) Do you think they will repost this? no considering they already posted it once.

15) Could you live with this person? yes probably

16) Why is this person your number 1? cuz she is like one of my bestest friends everer

18) How long have you known this person?? a while...7 years?  maybe more i don't know

19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person? yes

20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person? um i don't think....????
21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person? yes that would be extremely sad 

23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
we have done many MANY stupid things.  but we're cool and so that's all that you need to know.

24) Do you know everything about this person? i know a lot of things but DEFINITELY not everything

25) Would you date this person’s siblings? haha lol you don't need to know

26) Have you ever made something with this person? um....sure?  YES COFFEE stuff

29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person? um no dear

31) Is your #1 on drugs? probably :)  lol

33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes? um yeah

34) Have you and your #1 person made up a hand shake? haha no

35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person? um....i don't know.  maybe

36) Have you ever heard this person sing? yes and it's very beautiful

38) Do you and this person have a saying? no...well, maybe

39) Do you know this persons myspace password? no i don't think

41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 months? yes....horrible times.

44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing? lol no

45) Do you know how to make this person happy? YES

46) Do you and this person talk alot? yeah didn't this question already get asked???  gosh youre dumb

47) Do you like this person? yes this has also been asked

48) Has this person yelled at you? i don't think....we have shared some raised voices but never yelling i don't think

49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight? she hits me...a lot 

50) Do you want to go out with this person? uh that would be a big no

51) Do you want to be friends with them forever? yes :) :) :)

Can you answer 51 questions about the 1st person on your top friends list?

Don’t change your top friend.

1) What’s their name? Seth

2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend? lol thats a funny story!

3) Do you get along with this person all the time? i wouldn't say 'all the time' but most of the time yeah

4) How old is the person? Seventeen.

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you? i dont remember

6) Is this person older than you? By 3 years

7) Have you ever kissed this person? i would sure hope not!!!!

9) Are you related to this person? Yes

10) Are you really close to him/her? i suppose so.

11) Nickname? SunShine

13) How many times do you talk to this person in a week? i talk to him every day so quite a few times

14) Do you think they will repost this? nope

15) Could you live with this person? I do

16) Why is this person your number 1? I have not a clue, i suppose it has to do with him being my older brother and i think he is pretty cool

18) How long have you known this person?? 14 years

19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person? Yeah

20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person? lol no

21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person? When he goes to college i will miss him

23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
Wow us? I'm shocked you would even ask. ;)

24) Do you know everything about this person? Well everything is a very strong word. I know what he wants me to know

25) Would you date this person’s siblings? that would be a no

26) Have you ever made something with this person? i'm sure

29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person? that would be the weirdest thing ever. and again i say thats a big no

31) Is your #1 on drugs? lol no

33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes? sometimes i take his jacket but thats about it.

34) Have you and your #1 person made up a hand shake? no.

35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person? That is strange. I worry about the person who wrote these questions. lol.

36) Have you ever heard this person sing? haha yes

38) Do you and this person have a saying? not really

39) Do you know this persons myspace password? yeah..i think..but he told me so its not like i took it or something.

41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 months? Nope.

44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing? Nope.

45) Do you know how to make this person happy? its Seth we are talking about here..there is only a few things that make him happy and i'm pretty sure i'm not in any of those few :P lol

46) Do you and this person talk alot? i suppose

47) Do you like this person? Yeah he is pretty cool...at times

48) Has this person yelled at you? yes

49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight? i hit him at times but we never really "fight"

50) Do you want to go out with this person? No.

51) Do you want to be friends with them forever? his family so i kinda have to :P

1.What are 3 emotions you are feeling right now?

Joy, Tad bit of Frustration, Confusion


2. What time did you wake up this morning?
1 o'clock PM!!!!

3. How many hours of sleep did you get?
that would be like 14

4. What are you currently doing?
listening to a song, doing this survey, and just living

5. Have you kissed someone within the past week?
no

6.Have you told anyone you loved them today?
no considering i woke up about 10 minutes ago

7. Have you ever been in love?
i thought so....who knows?  i've loved someone but never been in love.

8. Do you like anybody?
i can answer that with a definite yes
9. Do you miss anybody?
yes i do

10. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
yeah it's Christmas!

11. What is the last thing you ate?
one of mrs. Terri Baker's WONDERFUL pretzel things.  yum.

12. Is there a member of the opposite sex in your life who means the world to you?
yeah...more than the world  :)

13. What are you listening to right now?
"With You"

14. Are you a generally clean or messy person?
organized mess person

15.Have you kissed 3 people on your top ?
uh no

16.Have you ever liked anyone on your top ?
don't have a myspace but sure why not

if i had one then yeah
17. Would you currently start a thing with your top ?

again.....sure

19. Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?
most of the time yes


20. What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
i was scared for someone i cared for

21. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?
yeah a couple people

22. Are you going to be alone tonight?
nope

23. When is the last time you saw a movie in theaters?
i saw national treasure on friday

26. Is there something you wish you could tell someone, but can’t?
yeah

27. What're you doing tonight?
WAITING FOR SANTA!!!! lol

 

28. What is one thing you can't wait for?
i'm not sure...oh!  wednesday!  yay

29. How has the week been?
kinda....sucky.  kinda fun!

30. Do you have a best friend?
OF COURSE.  i have a few.  but one "best friend" lol

I wish you and your family a merry and safe Christmas! Never forget, its not about us and the gifts we get but about the greatest gift of all---Jesus! God gave his only Son so we can have life eternal! Joy to the world and peace on earth!

 earlier yesterday i got a little upset about something ive never been concerned with until it actually happened i found myself feeling a bit what the phrase slapped in the face , & i shouldnt have felt like that at all, Im over it now, but whats weird is before it happened i had the exact same deja vous. pretty frickin' weird.

 & speaking of yesterday i went shopping , i really need to get out more half the time i was making people crack up by singing, and dancing & making corny jokes & half the time i was spassing out because people were EVERYWHERE.

 & now today will be prolly be the best day i will have in awhile , christmas play, then.... well thats for me to know, & then i'll prolly spend the night at my best friend's!

:)

so i kinda been thinking.....

    ive had enough of phusebox, i mean you guys are great but its time I realized this isnt doing me much good, i m still on email & still on myspace & i'll prolly find me another blogging website,too. well, starting on january 1st ill be off for good, love you thow.

 

 

1.What are 3 emotions you are feeling right now?
Happiness, Joy, Loved


2. What time did you wake up this morning?
8ish :(

3. How many hours of sleep did you get?
I have not a clue

4. What are you currently doing?
this Survey, and thinking about someone amaZing ;)

5. Have you kissed someone within the past week?
Nope

6.Have you told anyone you loved them today?
Yes

7. Have you ever been in love?
YES

8. Do you like anybody?
That would be a "Yes"

9. Do you miss anybody?
well no b/c he is here in Dickerson, but when he leaves again then yes i WILL miss someone

10. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Yep

11. What is the last thing you ate?
... lol i have no idea..i haven't had anything to eat today

12. Is there a member of the opposite sex in your life who means the world to you?
YES

13. What are you listening to right now?
"With You"

14. Are you a generally clean or messy person?
Clean.

15.Have you kissed 3 people on your top ?
nope

16.Have you ever liked anyone on your top ?
yeah

17. Would you currently start a thing with your top ?

YES


19. Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?
They can be.


20. What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
my brother being a pain! (shawn)

21. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?
heck yes

22. Are you going to be alone tonight?
family... so no

23. When is the last time you saw a movie in theaters?
Tonight "P.S i love you"

26. Is there something you wish you could tell someone, but can’t?
not really

27. What're you doing tonight?
Sleeping

 

28. What is one thing you can't wait for?
to hang out with tyler again

29. How has the week been?
amaZingly fantastic

30. Do you have a best friend?
yeah

well since i haven't been on here in like 2 weeks....i have to clue you in on my life.  well, basically, i'm so dang confused.  there was this guy and we were flirting and so now we are 'talking'....and i don't like it.  i don't like him!  i flirt when i'm bored....*SIGH*.  but i can't tell him that i just can't.  he's a senior, though.  that's kinda cool.  keri, please don't kill me.  i'm sorry....but, i got caught up in the moment.  i can't make up my mind.  i want....AAAAAAAAAH!  i want to be little again.  but no one liked me then either so it doesn't matter.  but, you have to understand my position.  this guy is NOT bad looking, in fact, he's very far from it.  he actually liked me and he was flirting with me and well, that's the first time that's ever happened for me so that's why this is like it is now.  why can't someone that i like like me back?  i don't care.  oh yes i do, what am i saying.  i care very much.  VERY.  i just need to make up my mind.  i think i have, but i don't know this guy.  Steele....:).  i will talk to him eventually.  I HAVE TO.  just something but this....please!  i like being this senior guy's friend, but nothing more.  he has cheating problems so i don't know why i even flirted with him in the first place.  grrr.  i'm mad at myself.  and keri is probably mad.  i'm not sure what to do about either of the sitiuations.  oh well.

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. a tv

2. piano

3. bed

4. karaoke machine

5. lava lamp

6. closet

7. ???

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. Do you like anyone? yes

2. Does someone like you? yes in fact

3. Last kiss? my root beer mug!! lol

4. Been lead on? yes siree

5. Been cheated on? ...probably....grr

6. Want a relationship? not really 

7. Wanna get married? eventually

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. Music

2. God

3. Friends (tyler, you have lots.)

4. shelter

5. Food

6. water

7. ....dare i say....nevermind.  it's a person though

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. Austin

2. How bored i am

3. How i have nothing to do

4. Why hasn't A.J. talked to me

5. OMG i'm so bored

6. guess what.......i'm so dang bored

7. pickles

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU:
1. Believe in God? duh

2. Had a dream come true? no

3. Read the newspaper? i dont remember

4. Get enough sleep everyday? idk...my bff jose
5. Have a best friend? one or two. but only one

6. Take a shower daily? ya

7. Wish on stars? sure

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Fallen in love? yes siree dang it no matter what anyone says 

2. Kissed someone of the same sex? NO

3. Hooked up with someone who had a gf/bf? no

4. Been to a Bonfire? yes i miss them

5. Ran away from home? no ma'am

6. Snuck out of the house? no

7. Pulled an all nighter? DUH
SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? yes
2. Had fun? i guess so...i was the happiest at the movies.  i wish it would have lasted forever.  i guess that was fun.  but i hated cracker barrel.  rawr.

3. Been kissed? no
4. Felt stupid? um yeah
5. Talked to an ex? don't have one yet
6. Missed someone? ..............yes.
7. Listened to music? um do you know who you are asking? DUH

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. idk man im not home

2. bed

3. 2 radios

4. clothes

5. thats about it

6.

7.

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. Do you like anyone? uh yeah

2. Does someone like you? idk she said she hated me tonight

3. Last kiss? i kissed my neice4. Been lead on? yeah its been a while though

5. Been cheated on? dont think so

6. Want a relationship? yeah

7. Wanna get married? Someday

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. God.
2. Friends (even though im running kinda low)

3. Family

4. Water

5. Food

6. more food

7. youuu

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. TOMORROW

2. The movie

3. YOUUU

4. Tennessee

5. Hawaii

6. chicken????

7. Sleep

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU:
1. Believe in God? Yes sir

2. Had a dream come true? uhm prob. but i cant think

3. Read the newspaper? i glance

4. Get enough sleep everyday? No
5. Have a best friend? not just one

6. Take a shower daily? Yes

7. Wish on stars? yeah its fun to

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Fallen in love? mhm

2. Kissed someone of the same sex? Frick that is so nastey

3. Hooked up with someone who had a gf/bf? nope

4. Been to a Bonfire? Yeah those are fun

5. Ran away from home? nope

6. Snuck out of the house? Not mine but me and a friend

7. Pulled an all nighter? Yeah.

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? Nope.
2. Had fun? Yeah.
3. Been kissed? no sir lol
4. Felt stupid? yes
5. Talked to an ex? Nope.
6. Missed someone? Yeah
7. Listened to music? That is like asking if I breath air. Yes.

  Well i have a new baby bro. Noah Bradley Martinelli. 7 pounds 8 ounces.... hes soo little.. but anyways everyone have a HAPPY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A NEW YEAR....

 ILL PUT SOME PIC. OF BABY NOAH LATER...

--God Bless

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YOU ARE ONE

 

 

 

 

 

FANTASTIC PERSON!!!!!!

 

 

(You being the person

 

 

 

 

reading this oh so true post)

 

When I was 11 years old, my family was stricken with poverty. My mother lost her job that paid 10 dollars per hour, which in turn caused my family to become so poor, that it caused us to end up having to live in hotels.

I was bullied in school all the way up from kindergarten to eighth grade, while the teachers would turn their heads and pretend not to notice and not only that...they would join in on it.

I used to be known as a piro, because I used to enjoy setting buildings, trees, and other things ablaze (not all the time though). I was heavily influenced by drugs and alcohol by the age of 12. I got so involved in drug use that by the time I was thirteen, my life was consumed in drugs and alcohol 24hr/7days a week.

My mother began to prostitute herself out, so that my brother and I could have food on the table. Since my mother was getting to a point where all her prostitution money was going to drugs (which caused her to never be around anymore), I ended up staying with a 21 year old drug dealer and his 40 something year old dad. The whole time I was with them, his father would molest me and rape me. I was so scared to tell anybody, because he threatened to harm me if I did.

For three months, he would do this to me. He would drug me up and use this to his advantage. I had no one there for me, to protect from him. I wanted to tell his 21 year old son, but instead I found out something very devestating. I found out that He had just gotten out of Prison for molesting his 21 yr old son when he was 9 years old.

By the grace of God, I was arrested July 18, 2001, for being out past curfew. I spent three days at Juvenile before being transferred to Magnolia Academy. (This place was run like a military camp). After a month and a week, I was transferred to T.P.S. (Tennessee Prepratory School).

After being there for about two months, I moved in with my aunt and uncle. While living there, I introduced one of my cousins to drugs. When I left June 2, 2001, I was transferred back to Magnolia.

This place has a church group that would come every Monday night at 7:07. I would sometimes reject the message. But one night, while I was supposed to be asleep, I decided to listen to a radio that one of my fellow peers loaned me. I used to listen to rap, but for some reason I wasn't in the mood for rap.

I turned the station, until I came across a song. This song that was played was about cartoons being saved. (I like to draw anime and cartoons, so I decided to listen to this song). I decided to listen to the next song, but something was different. The song was about the saving grace of Jesus Christ; about how he went through so much so that we might be saved. I wept like a baby that night and cried out to God saying, " If you are real...Lord God if you are real, send me to a Christian home that I might learn more about your love and your grace. Seven days later, I moved into the Christian foster home that I live in right now.

That Sunday was my birthday, and on my birthday I received salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ. I started Going to Family Worship Center a year later (I was going to Fosterville Baptist at the time). I attended the Tennessee Youth Convention at Opryland hotel that next November and received the power of the Holy Spirit. God has done so much for me in the past five years.

He has called me into ministry, He has delivered me from the grips of Death, Hell and The Grave, and He has made me victorious over the bondage of sin and over the power of darkness. I have already preached a number of sermons at church. I have performed in numerous Christian drama events including: The Judgment, The scarecrow, The Easter Trilogy, and more. God is still doing great things in my life. I now a Sophomore at Middle Tennessee State University and have been successful for awhile.


But It doesn't end there. Well all have our high points and we all have our low pionts in life. After moving onto the campus of MTSU...I began to fall away from God. I picked up old habits in which I thought were gone. I began to pick up smoking again. I began using profanity again. I began lusting after the flesh of this Earth again. I began dwelling in old things I used to do before I knew God. I began picking up a hateful and very rebellious attitude just as I had done when I was thirteen.

But since the past few months, God has proven to me that He is still in control. Just as the Prodical's Son in the Bible hit rock bottom before he finally came back to his father, evidently so must I had to do before comming back to my Heavenly father in Heaven.

Everthing had been going downhill for me ever since I chose to move onto campus. My backback got stolen, along with my laptop, digital camera, some of my school books, notes, homework, and tests study guides. This caused me to quit my classes and fail the semester.

My bank account surprisingly went from $4,000 to -$1,000. Now I owe the bank more than I should. I have a job at pizza hut, but the money is barely enough for one week's worth of gas and a few days of food. I get paid every other week.

I used to get $500 from the State of Tennessee for being in foster care, but I haven't seen that money since I moved out, but it instead went down to $150 because I live on campus. And I haven't even gotten that much of it.

I used to sing in the choir and usher every Sunday at church, but now I don't. I sometimes find myself missing church just because of some dumb excuss like "NOT FELLING LIKE IT TODAY".

I found myself in these situations all because I chose to leave the path that God had set before me; the path of ministry. I found myself running the calling God had placed in my life. I haven't even practiced piano since I moved out, and piano is one of my most favorite things in the world...yet now I barely even know how to play.

So, not to long ago...when I was in a performance at church a called THE JUGEMENT, I rededicated myself to God...yet I still find it hard to do things the Christian way...harder than it was before.

But I want to quit running from God and run back to him. I want to quit being a pretender and become a contender. I don't want to be fake in my walk with Him, but I want to be real...as real as it gets...


I'm tired of not having the blessings I once had back when I did things God's way.

Sometimes God has to break us and tear us down to nothing before he can mold us and shape us into the being He has called us to be...kinda like how a potter molds and shapes clay...


When a potter puts the clay on the wheel...it looks like crap...but then he shapes it and molds it....and even tears it back down in order to fix it the way he wants...


The same goes in our walk with Jesus Christ...


Oh but when we go through the fires of life, just as the potter puts the clay in the kilm...we are being tested for our durability to stand within that fire...sometimes we fall apart...but the potter is always willing to begin the process over and over until he gets the masterpiece that he craves so dearly..

The same is with us and God...he will keep letting us go through the fires of life until we come out srong and durable in our walk with him...


It took a while for me to learn this, even after being told over and over again...but I realized how much I truely needed and rely on God after moving onto the campus of MSU...


If God be for you, who could be against you? For God has been here for me and is still here with me, even when he has to carry me in his loving arms to get me through the obstacles of life. I tell you one thing, if not for God, I would either be dead right now, in jail, or so consumed in drugs that I could have even become the thing in which I hated the most. I thank God for rescuing me from all of that.

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. My bed
2. My clothes

3. Books.
4. Phone Charger.
5. TV
6. A Mess of things all over the floor

7. All my sisters stuff

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. Do you like anyone? Yeah
2. Does someone like you? Not sure

3. Last kiss? Never
4. Been lead on? nope

5. Been cheated on? not that i know of
6. Want a relationship? i wish

7. Wanna get married? Eventually.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. God.
2. Family.
3. Friends.
4. Horses

5. Internet.
6. Water.
7. Food.

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. Life
2. This quize

3. Tomorrow

4. Food
5. How tired i am from watching 8 kids
6. Where all my family might be at the moment

7. God

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU:
1. Believe in God? Yes.
2. Had a dream come true? Not yet
3. Read the newspaper? sometimes..matters how bored i am :)
4. Get enough sleep everyday? No
5. Have a best friend? yeah

6. Take a shower daily? Yes

7. Wish on stars? For the fun of it yes

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Fallen in love? Yeah i have

2. Kissed someone of the same sex? No, that would be nasty
3. Hooked up with someone who had a gf/bf? No.
4. Been to a Bonfire? Yeah, a bunch
5. Ran away from home? Nope.
6. Snuck out of the house? No.
7. Pulled an all nighter? Yeah.

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? Nope.
2. Had fun? Yeah.
3. Been kissed? Nope.
4. Felt stupid? yes
5. Talked to an ex? Nope.
6. Missed someone? Yeah
7. Listened to music? That is like asking if I breath air. Yes.

I sit beside the fire and think

  of all that I have seen,

of meadow-flowers and butterflies

  in summers that have been;

 

Of yellow leaves and gossamer

  in autumns that there were,

with morning mist and silver sun

  and wind upon my hair.

 

I sit beside the fire and think

  of how the world will be

when winter comes without a spring

  that I shall ever see.

 

For still there are so many things

  that I have never seen:

in every wood in every spring

  there is a different green.

 

I sit beside the fire and think

  of people long ago,

and people who will see a world

  that I shall never know.

 

But all the while I sit and think

  of times there were before,

I listen for reterning feet

  and voices at the door.

 

-The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

 

 

 

I would love remarks.

Ok real quick I am just going to give you my opinion on torture, it is fine. I am pro-torture. But I am not going to write about how great torture is I am going to follow the current debate to whether "Waterboarding is Torture, and is torture right or wrong"

    For those of you who don't know waterboarding is what we did to

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who is the Al Qaeda number two guy that planned 9/11. Waterboarding is simply  restraining the subject and  placing a rag or cloth over his face and mouth then,  pouring water over him to give him the "sensation of drowning" without actually doing any harm to the subject. 

   Now that you know what waterboarding is let me tell you a little about the people I am talking about in the following paragraph. Nancy is the Speaker of the US House of Represenatives. 3rd in line for President.  Go back to 2002 after the 9/11 attack on America. The CIA breifed Congress on their techniques of obtaining information. The entire Congress including Nacy Pelosi asked if they were doing enough and if they need to use more than just waterboarding, which was one of the things the CIA breifed the Congress on. Congress had no objections to the CIA. Then in 2003 she conccured with a Democratic colleague in a letter to the CIA. Now one of the senators says "I don't want the United States to engage in the type of torture that [Senator] John McCain had to endure." John McCain went through waterboarding back in Vietnam. So now I have to ask does Congress have any idea what they want or where the heck they stand?

John McCain went through what every American Special Forces team must go through to complete training. A school called SERE training. SERE stands for Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape. You are trained to Survive the torture that the enemy does. Waterboarding is only one tactic they learn of and survive in SERE school. They are taught this in extreme forms though. They are trained as if they were captured by the most feared and ruthless war lord there is. They do this to simulate what will really happen if captured. And that is what happend to John McCain. He was captured and went through torture such as waterboarding. Now the enemy and Al Qaeda are exercising much worse Techniques of torture. Cutting off our military men's heads and sending to their families. Torture using electic tools to shock subjects while covered in water. Now these things are used to invoke fear, and hardly to gain information. So how can you say that when we are doing it to save people that it is wrong? Not forgetting the training out men go through to ensure that they can protect us is far worse then the waterboarding that Khalid Sheikh went through. 

    Sure the vidoes were destroyed but does it really matter? Do you really care what the CIA is doing to protect you? As long as you are safe right? It is the same arguement of should priviate citizens be allowed to own a gun? We have to right to own a gun first for the protection of an uprising governement and second to protect ourselves. So if you are mad about the CIA protecting us then why do you have a gun? Ok say you don't have a gun. Then you rely completly on what our military does for that protection. Say that you don't have a gun and we did not get information form the Al Qaeda members. Say that they went through with their plans because we did not torture one person. Now Al Qaeda is in America the priviate citizens don't have weapons and we don't know how to stop Al Qaeda from taking over America because we are a Nation that doesn't believe in a little pain to protect their people. I believe in a don't ask don't tell policy. I am fine with whatever the governement does to protect us. If it legitmitly protects us and not knowing about it. As far as I am concered they could have played russian roulette with the man to get information. If the bullet lands on him then that is one less Al Qaeda member we have to worry about. If it lands on us then he died in service and deserves a proper funeral, flag folded 21 gun salute and the whole shabang. (Russian Roulette is taking a revolver and putting a bullet in one chamber spinning the cylinder so the bullets location is unknown and taking turs with the gun to eachothers head pulling the triger)      

      Ok so those are some of the facts now let me ask you some questions and give you some personal  opinion, sound good? Good.

So are we not able to trust the people who are trying to protect us any more? We must question what they do to save American lives? It is a fact that the information the CIA recieved from  Khalid Sheikh Mohammed did save many American lives. So let me ask you do you think hurting someone is wrong if you save someone else? Do you think that a little water in the mouth and lungs that burns some is bad if you save your best friend, spouse or brother? Is waterboarding torture, maybe, but the fact is, is that it helped people live. I told you before I am pro-tortue, I say do what you have to do to help people live. Is that not what a doctor does? He may do something that hurts a little but you better believe he is doing what is best for you in the long run. So what do you think. Are you going to stand with the majority because there are more people on that side, or are you going to stand up for what you truly believe in. Don't pull a Nacy, don't say you are for torture just because I am, don't say you are against torture because now Congress debates it. It is all about personal convections. Because you are the only person that you have to live with forever. 

We are a rare breed, one that most don’t really understand. There is something about us that draws attention and fascinates those around us. But why? What is about us that makes us so unique and captivating? Wow, Nicole seems a little vain at the moment. Yeah, well I’ve just noticed that my drawl gets stronger every day, and I’m beginning to seem more and more southern. So let us just say that Nicole is embracing her roots and enjoying what little grace and charm she got from them.

 

Is it our drawl, that wonderful way words come out all slow and velvety smooth? Is it the way we call everyone things honey, darlin’, dear, and sweetheart without a second thought? Is it the fact we can make small talk about nothing or the way we drop our Gs? I don’t know what it is about us, but I know there must be something. It might be the way we make everyone feel welcome regardless, or it could be our smiles. Maybe it’s the accent and the fact that we can politely tell you that something is wrong, even when we’d rather be rude.

 

Or maybe it’s in our appearance. Is it perhaps that understated grace and beauty? Is the strand of pearls no southern girl is without? Or is it the fact that we will wear our pearls with jeans and boots. Is it the fact we can make a pair of torn up jeans and a t-shirt look lovely? Perhaps it’s the fact that the beauty seems so natural and easy. It could be the way we have a sort of effortless classy look at times. It’s possibly the way we are not afraid to get our hands dirty and get a little mud on our faces.

Perhaps it is our abilities in the kitchen? I mean we can cook up a storm, many of us, or at least pretend to. And every southern girl can make sweet tea. But I’m pretty sure that’s not what is so intriguing and fascinating about us.

 

Personally I think it is a combination of many things. I think it might be the drawl, and the way we smile. But I also think it’s our strength and courage. I think it’s the pride in who we are and the fact that we will fight like a cougar for what we love and what we believe in. It’s our hearts and our souls and our spirit. And as I type this I find my accent getting stronger. Funny, it’s something I’m always told I need to tone down. I’m quite proud of my drawl, and I let it show whenever possible. It does not make me stupid, and it does not make me a racist. Southern does not equal stupid, racist, and ignorant.

so I didn't sleep last night or today for that matter, I'm sick .... well, not sick its more flat out not well, because nothing is really wrong with me like a virus, just pain & I hate it that something can irritate the snot outta me like that.... I got very light headed, & just laying there in bed all night listen to my sister breathe is enough torture for one night.

     so realizing I wasn't gonna get any sleep I turned on the radio & listened for awhile I made like 5 trips to the bathroom just because I was bored, I read the whole book of Ecclesiastes, and Read some of a devotion book, made some coffee & toast & I watched the sun come up except there were clouds so i really didn't see to much besides a pink painted sky, but it was worth it. But Anyways, pray for me to be able to sleep tonight & not be bothered by little irritations! thanks... oh hey I prayed for you guys last night . __ __

Yes I know really really crappy video but, it is the only one with good sound quality and a clean video. Yes Tyler is coming back that is why I posted it. Sad I did not post a Christmas song? you can read and find out why later in my blog today. But hey call Tyler some time when he is here message for number.  Please enjoy Thin Lizzy with their song "The Boys are Back in Town"

I was driving today when I saw a car with its back window completely covered with "Ron Paul Revolution. Be a part of it". Ok, so this dude really likes Ron Paul. Then I see this guy's "Islam Inside" bumper sticker. So this is who is supporting him...

 

In other news, Fred Thompson has pointed out that virtually none of the other Republican candidates really know anything about foreign affairs. For expample, I know that many say Rudy would be a great President because he was a great mayor for New York and really helped them through 9/11. That's great and all, go ahead make him the governor, but I hardly think that qualifies him as for the job of President. Anyhow, check out the article if you're interested. 

Hey my people. Whats up with you guys (and girls)

   Well the past week or so i have been SO happy, kinda craZy but i'm loving it! Yeah i have had my downs but manily up is where i've been headed. I think the trip to Memphis really helped me see where i was in life. I have way more then the little kids that came through there but in a way i have less then them. Yeah i know that makes little to no since but let me explain.

   Those kids might not have had a nice home, food every night, a bed to sleep in, toys to play with, or someone to love them. And i dont even know the half of their story, but even through the pain, loss, hurt, and lack of love they had smiles on their faces. They looked happy and some of them found Christ that night. (i'm not sure the exact number) They just needed someone to show them the light and they ran for it. And i know some of those kids where just there for the presents and could care less for the play, or Christ or the hugs we gave out.
   I dont know, i'm sure i sound craZy but those kids made me see how much i have and how much i dont have. I keep my eyes on the bad, my losses, and my lack of winning that i never really relized that i have a family, a house, i get to eat 3 times a day, I have friends and a car to get from point A to point B.

   I guess i'm trying to say, i found the TRUE meaning of happiness in the little faces of the kids that came through there.

Finals are almost over and Christmas is almost here! Yes, finally! I have one more final tomorrow. I've already taken an oral final in one of my classes by remembering the bones and my other class will be really easy. I got an 89 on my geometry final and I thought the final in English was one of the easiest tests I've taken all year in there. I'm just glad geometry and English are over finally. It's been really awful, but semester I have really easy classes so it's all cool. I'm pretty much happy with grades. I guess I could have done better in geometry. (Carmen, Keri, Gen, don't say anything.) I got an 87 (I was really upset yesterday because  I can't remember the last time I made a B, and I've especially never made ANYTHING in the eighties. I'm not that upset anymore, but yeah.) for the 4th period thing, and I have no idea how. I think Ms. Post messed my grade up, but I still have an A for the year so it's all good. I want to tell you guys Merry Christmas if I don't post before than. So have a great Christmas!

enough said.

 

oh ya, and i ended up with a 3.75 GPA this semester. Rock on

 

piece

So I can't take this,

Like I mean you. It's complicated?

Everytime I see your picture my heart hurts.

The worst case of missing you ever.

Like, In my stomach theres a pain.

And then I feel like crying.

You know for a fact I still love you.

So much that it's killing me.

Literally.

I don't know how to get rid of you,

I know it's not hard to love a free spirit.

But when two free spirits love,

it gets sorta messy.

But when you Love and the other one doesn't,

it sucks.

 

 

Alot. 

 

 

 

 

 

YOU ARE AMAZING

! ! ! ! !

YOU

 

- BEING WHOMEVER IS

 

READING THIS

 

 

AMAZING POST! -

 

It is so amazing how much can change in an instant. How many of our fears can come to the surface by something you feel like you can't control....because in reality you have no control. Today my head has felt like it has been spinning out of control. I try to focus and it's hard because breathing feels difficult and strained. How do I stay strong for the one person that needs me most in the world when I myself need to be held and reassured? My eyes fill with tears at the thought of what is ahead but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that You are with me and are near....take my hand Father and lead me in the way that I should go. Give me the strength I need to give to her. Please dear Lord...be with her and give me the words You need me to say. Whatever the outcome, I believe You are with me.....always......

i was just thinking about this .....

 this is a lesson on speaking to soon, & its funny so i thought i'd share it ....

 So Austin & I were playing the game of life & he wanted me to tell him something & i wouldnt.

so i spin & land on Baby boy & Austin's like

"haha.. thats what you get for not telling me!"

then he spins & gets twins.... haha.

Im still laughing.... :)

Have you ever came away from a church and thought to yourself wow that worship really didn't do much for me? I have. Ever kinda thought wow that band could have been better...that singer missed a note and kinda hit  a few flat spots? I have came away from a few churches critizing their bands. Then I kinda got to thinking...and listening to Pastor Pete. Worship has nothing to do with you, or what you think of it. Well it does have to do with you doing it. A lot of people who go to church seem to think "well I don't really worship, when they are singing...I just don't worship. There are groups of people who worship and who don't. I am in th don't." The fact is EVERYONE worships. Even if you are an athiest you worship something. It is just a matter of what it is. I can garentee you that the person who "doesn't worship" goes home and tries to be as popular as they can.  Or as accepted as possible. That is a form of worship...not good but it is still a form. Who or What you worship can form you. You can and will become a reflection of what you worship. If you worship popularity then you will become the world. If you worship acceptance then you will become a slave of everyone around you. If you worship the almight God then you will become more rightous in the things you do. So everyone worships it just depends who or what you worship that shapes you. Also how you worship can shape you. If you only worship once a week in a church to the song "Just as I Am" During the alter call that lasts for 20 min and in your opinion you think is 19 1/2 minutes too long. Then yeah it will be harder for you. But if you worship God 24/7 (wow a lot a fractions in 2 1/2 sentences...ahh can't stop!!!) in everything you do then it really means something. If you randomly find yourself doing something that you could not worship God while doing then why are you doing it? Just something to ask yourself during the day. Have a good one.

So we got back from Memphis Today! it was THE best trip i have ever gone on!!! It was.....AMAZING! lol i have never been so happy and felt like i was doing what God wanted me to do. We brought so many smiles and shared the love of Christ and thats THE BEST thing to do!!!!! Giving out the presents was fantastic, the kids were so cute and just wanted someone to love them. And that we did!!! Yeah so if you want to know more just message me.

The person who risk nothing, does nothing, has nothing , and is nothing. To laugh is to risk being a fool. To cry is to appear sentimental. To reach out  to others is to risk getting involved. To love is to risk not being loved in return. The person who risks nothing may avoid  suffering and sorrow , but he simply cannot know, feel , change, grow , live or love.

-Leo Buscaglia

It felt like last night things were finally how they are supposed to be. It's been a long time since I've felt like that. I have my real friends back, and hopefully here to stay for a long time. I'm really glad for last night. I was really happy and it felt like last year. I can now say I'm actually mostly happy for once in like forever it seems.

 

"These are the days we will remember, these are the times that won't come again, the highest of flames becomes an ember, so you gotta live it while you can."

ok so I havent been on here in a really long time.  I have indeed been grounded.  I guess we can just leave it at that.  So some new things that have happened to me is... i got braces :) and i am coming back to TN in like 6 days :)

i miss you guys a lot so leave me messages and stuff.  K well i guess i will talk to you later 

I won't complain to you if it is cold and I did not wear a coat.

I will not whine to you if I cut myself.

I won't cry to you if I trip because I was looking back.  

I will not wimper for help from you if I got myself caught.

I won't fuss to you because of the agonies I put myself in.  

So why do you do nothing but complain of your infermaries?

Why do you stab me to help yourself? 

I will come willingly but why do you gain pleasure from my blood?

Why do you set traps for me to walk into and hang myself.

Even then I will not cry out to you.

I will not beg for you to stop the tortue you put me in.

For I got there myself.

what's great is when you get called fat by your teacher in front of the whole class.

 

mmmhmm.

 

then you find out you're failing all of your classes.

 

and then an ex of yours starts more drama...after a year of hardly even talking.

 

oh i love it.

today has sucked beyond belief.

i'm so ready for the break. 

"I would give up forever to touch you..."

"I don't want the world to see me because I don't think that they would understand.."

"When everything feels like the movies, ya bleed just to know you're alive..." 

"Iris" Goo Goo Dolls

Love this album "Dizzy Up The Girl" 

please enjoy my song selection 

did you know that Every minute of everyday theres a baby being born to a teen mother!!!

 this is really sad to me.

Yay, I'm done for the semester! *HAPPY DANCE* No more Single Cam, EVER, thank GOODNESS!

 

Anyhow, so now for a serious subject that I have been wanting to write about for a few days now...

 

Unless you live under a rock, you have probably noticed quite a buzz surrounding the movie The Golden Compass. It has stirred up quite a lot of controversy because many Christians are upset with its athestic overtones.

 

I had never heard of The Golden Compass before the movie and didn't know anything about it, but I read several articles about the controversy and feel like I now sufficiently understand. The book this movie is based on is the first of a triology written by an athestic named Phillip Pullman. It is, if you will, his version of The Chronicles of Narnia. In fact, he even said he hates The Chronciles of Narnia and this is his way of showing "the other side". Well, I'm sorry he hates the stories so much, but since he is not a Christian, I can't say that I expect him to love them.  

 

According to snopes.com, an urban legend website with no religious affiliation and merely states facts, Pullman did say that his books are about killing God. So we do have a legitimate concern here that he is, in fact, writing books aimed at children that are anti-God.

 

Does this bother me? Well, yes, it does. But can I really point my finger at an atheist and tell him he cannot feel that way? Can I take away his free speech? Can I convert him to Christianity by rebuking him? Well... no, I can't. 

 

Honestly, if I am given the chance to make Christian movies and write Christian books, why should this guy not be given a chance to make atheist movies and write atheist books? He has every right to. Now, does this mean I support this movie? Well, no. I don't plan to see it, largely because it does not interest me. And while, yes, I don't want to see it because it is anti-God, I am not going to throw around the word "boycott". 

 

I am also not saying that no Christian should check out the movie. I think it would be good for some to see it and be educated on it. I feel that it can even be acceptable for a Christian parent took their child to see it, as long as the child is old enough to converse with the parent about what the Bible says versus what is portrayed in the story. As my pastor said Sunday morning, parents should discern with godly wisdom what to do in that situation.  

 

People came to our country seeking religious freedom. Granted, many of them were Christians, but I highly doubt they would be proud  of Christians persecuting atheits, Hindus, Muslims, etc. There is a differene between disagreeing with them and downright attacking them. If we demand respect from them, we should give it right back. 

 

You can't expect a penguin to act like a duck anymore than you can expect an atheist to act like a Christian, not that they can't be good people, but they are not going to value God as we do. So the way to reach out to them is show them God's love, not demand a boycott of their movies. 

 

Anyhow, that's all for now. I hope everyone's semester is wrapping up well for them.  

I LOVE YOU...

 

 

YES YOU

 

 

!<3!<3!<3!<3!