i have been going through alot here lately. i am so confused about what i truly want out of life and who i am. lately i have been doing some deep soul searching; still nothing. i mean i somewhat know what i want like for example the obvious things, success, indipendence, acceptance, security. i am talking about what i want more out of life like what is my purpose here on ths earth? anyways i know for sure that i cannot just give up, i must move on and one of these days i will find the answers. i am just going to take it one day at a time.
i havn't been on here for a while but heres an update. i have been out on my own since october 2006. thus far it has had its ups and downs; thats life for ya. i havn't given up yet and i don't plan to. alot of things have happened to me since i have been on my own, for example i got involved in the wrong group of people and for a while and realized that it wasn't for me anymore. i realized that i didn't want to be around them anymore. n'e ways i am still going to school full-time to become a certified draftsman( architectural of coarse) i have also been struggling somewhat financially but somehow i am managing to survive. this friday i am signing a new lese for an apartment close to MTSU, Raiders Ridge to be exact. well i guess thats all i have to blog avout right now but will return.
hi everyone i am going to make an effort to blog at least once evry day. i am currently spending quality time in maryland with my family... yesterday i got ot see some of my cousins whom i havn't seen before.... its amazing how people change over the years. so other than that i am doing wonderful! ttyl
have you ever allowed your emotions take control of you...i have... i got involved with a girl who i felt, thought, deep down she was the one for me. just recently we broke it off. i am still remembering the time we spent together. though it is hard i must let go and give God my everything, I'm surrendering my all. even through the hard times God is there to meet us in the good and the bad times. by going through what i have, the circumstances made me stronger. i thank God for it all. just remember... there is a real God who cares about you so much that he gave is only begotten son to die on an old rugged cross for all mankind.
im bored... i really dont have a lot to blab about... today was okay... i found out that i am four pounds under weight.... yeah sounds crazy but its true. oh well... i can get back to my "normal weight" whatever that is... i can gain weight by working out though and eating better. im not that concerned. i guess thats all for now
have you ever truly liked someone and you would do anything to be with them.... i reminded by a song by nickleback... Far away. the song says it all. anyways, i don't see how any human being can hold in their true feelings; you cant help how you feel about someone. is it worth it to stop at nothing to be with someone and to share your true feelings for someone... or will you go through this life wondering is it worth it, how can i express myself? go ahead... ask yourself! love is patient...kind...unselfish. what do you think?
NMH.... sometimes the things of the world, you know, bills,gossip,sunday drivers, need i say more can reallly take a major toll on an individual. day by day passes and we are always encountering new circumstances day after day; questioning ourselves how am i going to handle this! we get caught up in our daily routine and forget about whats really important, but what is? See, i am writing to myself mainly; as each day passes i get caught up in the world and sometimes without even realizing whats going on i forget what i am supposed to be doing, but wait, bills are important because you do have tp pay them or suffer the consequences of not, your job, family etc. what i am trying to explain here is that prioritizing is key. i tried to live my own life, ever since i moved out on my own i have encounterd a whole lot of troubling,almost unbearable circumstacnes... i wanted to give up numerous times, but somoething deep dowm inside said, "your not a failure".... that someone is God. No matter the circumstance i know God is going to take care of every need i lay down at his feet. i have the security and faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My advice to you whoever reads this blog... Don't give up! God loves you and is always there even though you can't see him, he's there; he'll stick closer than a brother... all you have to do is believe and have faith in him.
i can barely remember the whole dream but the significance of the dream i do remember. as i was dreaming i sort of woke up in the midst of the dream and i coulld barely talk, it felt like i was being held down by some kind of invisible source. like i said i was dreaming. when i was sort of alert i called out the name of Jesus and the dream vanished and i was able to go back to sleep peacefully.
as i sit in this dark room i poder on the the things of this life. thoughts of what really is my purpose here on this earth. why am i here? i think about my goals in life and how far i am from reaching them. each goal has its own purpose. its up to me to meet the goals that i set for myself. so far several of my goals have been met. for example i gradauted from highschool and now i am pursuing my degree in architecture. another hing that i ponder on is my relationship with God. God gave each person a fre will to decifer what's right from wrong. each day of every second,minute, and hour i have the choice to follow God's will or not. i ponder on the junk that used to have a stronghold on my life. God allows us to go through trials and tribulations to better us. i know that sounds somewhat far- fetched but its true. God sent his only begotten son to die on an old rugged cross for all mankind. all we have to do is call on his name and believe in our hearts that Jesus Christ died on an old rugged cross to save us from all unrighteousness. God never promised that this life was going to be easy. he allows us to go throgh trials to exmine our hearts, to make us into His image. as each day passes i will follow the will of God for my life and trust Him wholeheartedly!
each day i face new trials and wonders of life. as each trial comes my way ist up to me how in deal with them. i know deep down that i will overcome the trial that is trying to place me in bondage. some of the trials are confusing and sometimes i feel that they are to much for me to bear. one particular trial that people face in life is love for another person. the picture may not be clear at first but as days pass the picture becomes gradually clear. people can't help how they feel about another person. its hard sometimes to express your love for someone. several thoughts cross your mind like do i want to spend the rest of my life with this person or not, neither of the two want to ever hurt the other in any away, it is extremely important to take baby steps in a relationship. don't rush into things, take it slow. set boundaries for one another. God's view on a relationship is to keep God first in everything you do. allow God to be the center of your life. it is vital to get to know the other person by dating first before each take the next sterp in a relationship.
i am about to be out on my own. i will encounter all the world's responsibilties; school,work,pursuing my career in architecture. people come to a stage in life when they want to be indipendant. each person's maturity level is different. i am going to be turning 20 on october 18th. i have found an apartment and will be moving in soon. although i have alot of obsticles that i have to face, i know that i''l make it through each circumstance and if i fall i'll dust myself off and try it again til i overcome the circumstance.