half days rock!....nuf said.

warm coffee- nothing happens to me. i think the warmth in the coffee counteracts the caffine thing...

cold coffee (frappaccino)-  BE AFRAID, BE VERY VERY AFRAID. haha my hand is shaking while typing.  heeheehee

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! HYPERNESS ROCKS.

stupid homework!

Blackman lost against riverdale 41-7 or somthing like that.  but at least our freshmen killed riverdale last night 41-0. ( :

and have i mentioned how happy i am that its a 3 day weekend?

ok so school has been crazy busy.  lots of work outside of school. plus theres soccer. soccer practice monday through friday unless theres a game that day. and then saturday soccer with some other friends. so i have soccer practice tomorrow night cuz we have a game on monday. so im practicing on a sunday. well anyway thats an update. not a very good one, but its better than nothing.

k so i wrote this a couple days ago. ive been writing a lot recently....anyway, check it out.

no one can see these tears ive shed

in this secret life ive lead

so ill hide behind smiles once again

and pretend like it never began

ill keep my emotions locked in a box

in my heart that should never be ungaurded

because if its ungaurded then i can feel pain

and so i will hide behind these smiles

and hope that tomorrow brings a real smile to my face

until then, sleep tight

and hope that you might

be able to laugh once again.

what is there to say about school?  went today. got my schedule. have to get my schedule changed since i have 2 arts and no physics.  the teachers seem pretty cool. i have no great dislike for any of them. and actually think ill enjoy a lot of my classes.

i dont have to baby sit today. so thats a good sign. unfortunatly i have nothing to do since the people i was plannin on doin somthing with either couldnt or canceled on me.  so right now im just sittin here. maybe ill go to target or somewhere just outta the house. i donno.

soccer practice today at 4.  not sure if im lookin forward to it today or not. we did suicides yesterday. which actually i dont mind much.

remarks please?

edit: ok so i just got a call from the air force tryin to recruit people and i must say im actually considering it.  i mean you dont have to go across seas right? there are things to do in the united states right? and they pay for all of college which would be a big help.  and i could work in architecture. i just dont know. its a possibility....anyone know anything about the air force that could help me? 

remarks still wanted.

how can you hurt someone so much without meaning to and then not even know what you did?

how is it that you can make me cry?

y should all this pain be here?

i hate this.

why do you make promises you cant keep?

why do you make promises you wont keep?

why does it still seem i cant get you out of my head?

why is it possible that i love you?

why?

edit: on another note, im pretty sure that im going to go insane.  we're gettin a new roof that people are putting on right now and the hammering is driving me insane.  theres no peace. and right when its quiet and you think you get peace, it starts again. 

k, so i posted this on my myspace and liked it so i decided to put it on phusebox. I worked really hard on this even if it doesnt look like it.  feedback is appreciated:

Im on the outside of my mind

Trying to see into the inside through a frosted window

I look for a door but theres not one in sight

Through the window I see movement

Is this me?  I take one more look

 

There are all these emotions flying around

And I cant seem to stop them

I try to get rid of them

But they just come back in the end

 

Im on the outside of my heart

Trying to see through all of the shields

That ive put up

I try to follow my heart but I cant hear what its saying

In the end

 

Im trying to find myself

But I cant seem to find myself

Through all these layers

Which are real?

 

But ill find myself eventually

Oh ill find myself eventually

Cuz ive got you.

i had a dentist appointment

went to the mall to try on some jeans so we could quickly purchase them tax free weekend.

got happiness in a cup (irish cream frap.)

and came home

needless to say....my ankle is killin me.

i remember the day when the love of God
landed in our town
He took all the silent and broken hearts,
fixed them up and gave them a sound
you had almost every different kind of
kid from every different kind
of social background
taking all the cool they had and praising
God, as He spun them around
when God came to town
and the people in our churches, they were
constantly amazed
at the kids kneeling at the altar with their
different fashion flavors
you had squares, preps, and skater punks,
goths and techno-ravers
and the tattooed kids with colored
hair... and they were all getting saved
you think the 60's had good vibrations?
well, check out my generation...

we will run and never stop
yeah, we all will stand together
taking everything we are
and then praising Him forever
well, anyone and everyone, come and
join us for a good time
we are breaking all the rules by praising
God with your Gift of Cool...

suddenly almost every kid in town had
finally found the way
to take all the gifts and talents and beauty
they had and worship God every day
man, you had all the high school parties,
and they were turning into worship raves
and the sounds of the underground in
town had turned into praise

when Your people sing, all of heaven
sings... so sing! is that cool?
lift your hands up to the sky
yeah, we all will sing together
taking everything we are
and then praising Hime forever

awesome song, check it out.

oh and im very bored right now. remarks would help. ( :

my ankle hurts...yeah i kinda sprained it this mornin around 1:30. luckily it was during the last thing we did at soccer practice.  i went to the doctor and had to get it x rayed today. that wasnt fun and before that i was baby sitting so im exhausted. i didnt get to sleep til 2:30 this morning.well good night yall

ahh funness. 

saw lady in the water today. it was actually pretty good and i only jumped 3 times (of course all three times jess was laughing at me but oh well.)

then jess and i went back to my house and hung out for a little while. we ended up going into the woods and after refusing to go any farther he picked me up and carried me. lol  so anyway he had to leave so he could get ready for work. 

oh and i LOVE hugs. ( : 

man i am exhausted! but today has been so much fun! i had to wake up pretty early today (like 6:15) but i went to kohls and got some new shirts and a new pair of jeans.  and then i had to rush home and get ready to go to soccer. so then i picked wendell up and we went to nate's and then on to soccer. thats always lots of fun and it was nice and cool today. the only problem is the goal i accidentally scored for the other team. lol woops...so then we went back to nate's house and had hamburgers and played texas hold em and presidents til like 4:15 and now im home. and hopefully ill get to sleep in tomorrow.

 

James Blunt - Tears And Rain Lyrics

How I wish I could surrender my soul;

Shed the clothes that become my skin;

See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.

How I wish I had screamed out loud,

Instead I've found no meaning.



I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.



How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,

Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.

How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.



I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.

I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.

Far, far away; find comfort in pain.

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.

It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.ok so i found this pretty cool. i was listenin to "tears and rain" by james blunt and realized that the song has to do with dorian gray. and "the pictureof Dorian Gray" just so happens to be one of my summer reading books.small world.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/winrg.php

come on click the link, you know you want to. 

makes you greatful for the computer you have no matter how bad it is.

ok so im pretty sure it will be difficult to get a hold of me anymore due to the fact that im dead.  ok, not really but right now i might be.  i just ran around my neighborhood.  i dont know how far...but i ran.  me running is a very rare sight to see unless im on grass with a soccer ball in front of me and im trying to get around some defenders. haha well i need more water. talk to all y'all later.

they are all out there.  swarming....

are they at any of the other houses?

no

do you know why??

cuz they are ALL AT MY HOUSE

when you walk outside you have to dodge each flying june bug its like an obstacle course.

there have got to be at least 20 out there in my front yard.  its horrible.

another amazing day playing soccer!  oh my goodness its so much fun.  i have to start running on monday by myself since i wont be able to condition with my team cuz ill be baby sitting.  i hate running. its no fun.  but hey you gotta do what you gotta do right? so im gonna just rest for the remainder of the day cuz soccer wears me out. and we played like extra long today too.  ill talk to yall later.

haha YES Germany v. Portugal: 3-1 i knew germany could do it.  i really wish stupid italy hadnt beat them...

ok so im baby sitting right now.  and somehow i got stuck watching three boys (one i dont even have to watch) and let me say, ive heard some things that i never wanted to.kids have such dirty minds these days!  so yeah, interesting time here.  hope you all are having a great day.  i just hope i survive the day without too much damage to my brain. haha.  remarks are always nice. ( :