Our God is not a God of confusion

November 18 2005

So this semester has been tough on me. 


Man, I just got to thinking the other day about how people with addictions and eating disorders have trigger signs that they can watch out for, to help them not fall back into that cycle.


I seriously think I have an approval of man addiction.  It's been rampant this semester, only I didn't really realize it till last week.  It's not tangible like a substance or lack of it, so I don't know it until I've been doing it for a while.  At first I just felt really needy.  Like I just couldn't get enough from my friends and professors and parents and people at church..  and even God. 


And I didn't know what to do with all of it so I just tried to run away with my thoughts.. and I've been inconsistent with my quiet times and talking to God.. which hurt me even worse.


God has lavished me with his love.  It's unfailing.  And it seriously- sometimes- I just want to cry with joy and gratitude that God loves me that much to just deal with those times that I'm struggling with being ______ TOO MANY TIMES. 


It's never too many for God. 


I'm never too much for Him.  NEVER. 


Not when I'm crying.  Not when I'm utterly silly.  Not when I'm sweating bullets because I'm nervous.  Not when I fail.  Not when I succeed again and again.


God is just Good.  That's just what He is.