September 23 2005
Tonight I had a date with God.
He told me a few days ago that Friday night He was going to take me out. Don't ask questions or try to figure out what we will do. Just wait for Friday night.
So I'm sitting at the cookout with the new DTS students and God tells me He's taking me to the beach to watch the sunset. Just a few minutes later, Nina says she wants to go to the beach. So Nina, Lisa, and I pile into my car and drive to Short Beach, listening to Jack Johnson on the way.
When we get there, the sunset is beautiful. Nina and Lisa walk down to the surf, but I hang back and sit on the beach to spend my time with God. With the way the beach is positioned, I can just see their torsos every once in a while. A few other couples and families are still there from their day at the beach. A young boy is yelling for his mom, switching from English to another language. Another man is fishing. So I sit watching the sunset. The sky is one huge, solid dark cloud like a canopy hovering over us breaking only right before the horizon to reveal the bright reds and oranges of the setting sun. I can hear crickets chirping in the woods behind me concealing gigantic mansions that are occupied by who knows who. Every sound is exaggerated. A plane flies overhead, and I look up to see if it is visible through the dark clouds. I look over to my friends. Lisa is sitting and watching the waves, small waves, if you would even call them waves. Nina is standing, but I can only see her from the shoulders up. She stretches her arms over her head, throws her body into a cartwheel, and then all I see is her legs until her arms and head appear again. Legs. Arms. Legs. Arms. Legs. Arms. And then she disappears, swimming into the ocean. The sun is setting further. It is getting darker. The lights from the shores of Connecticut across the Long Island Sound are becoming more visible. I lay my head on my knees and just think for a while, enjoying the slightly chilled breeze flowing over me.
It was an intimate time with God, but different than usual. He didn't smother me with words about how much He loved me. He didn't brag about how special I am, or all those things that I selfishly love. Instead, He allowed me to just observe Him. And I saw His strength. I saw His creativity. I felt His awesomeness and all encompassing presence. And in moments like those, when God is God regardless of who I am, I realize again that there are other reasons why I follow God. Sometimes I follow God because He is so good and kind. But on nights like tonight, I remember that I also follow God because He is God. He is in control and much bigger than me. It reminds me of the book of Job.
"Do you have an arm like God's, and can your voice thunder like his? Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty. Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at every proud man and bring him low, look at every proud man and humble him, crush the wicked where they stand. Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave. Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you."
Sometimes when I am worshipping Him, the best word I can come up with to describe Him is... God.