Serrated...notched like the blade of a saw.  I sit silent...for fear of being divulged once more.  My ground plan is to use the element of surprise...for it will surely stupefy all who contested to negate me in the previous days.  In an instant, I will turn.  Just like a dream, I will appear chimerical.  Certain eyes, they will see through my mischevious and magnificent masquerade.  Certain people, they will not.  Certain times, I will collapse.  Certain ones, they will catch me.  But no, NO.  I have apprehended them.  It is a fool's foul-up.  An unshakeable plan.  One that will not be repressed...will not be serrated.  I have the element of surprise under my belt.  Tucked away like a stolen diamond.  A treasure of superior value; a crime unexcused.  Strike, I will.  Soon, I will.  Monitor, you should.

Run to me and I'll run away with you.

Stay at my side, and never leave.

We can face the world together, and together put the world behind us.

Nothing can ever contain my love for you, no matter how large.

No person can ever take the place of you.

No emotion fill the space in my mind that your smile wholly consumes.

No where is too far for me to run.

If you're there, I'll defy gravity and all else just to be there.

I don't care what it takes.

To make my wish a reality, I'd go to the bottom of the deepest ocean, to the border of heaven, and back.

I promise...no, swear I will.

We can face the world together, and together put the world behind us.

Stay at my side, and never leave.

Run to me and I'll run away with you.

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be.
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright.
Yet I am I, who long to be.
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love - put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Plunge me deep in love- put out my senses,

Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

I am not yours, not lost in you.

lol this is jordan.  he's so funny!!!  pretty cool

here it do be grace

period 1: Physical Science with CARDONA!!!!

period 2: wellness

period 3: English I Honors
period 4:  Choir
period 5:
period 6:
period 7:

People You Mostly Talked To During:
period 1: Deven or Rachel

period 2: Jennifer

period 3: Austin

period 4: Hallie or Rachel
period 5:
period 6:
period 7:

 

Random Questions:

Who was your favorite teacher?
CARDONA!!!!!

Who annoyed you most during 3rd period?
Austin lol SHUT UP!!!!

Who did you sit with at lunch?
Keri Hallie Sarah Nathan Lindsey Jessica
Are you most likely to fall asleep or not pay attention?
not pay attention

Which class did you get the most homework?
i didn't have no homework today

Which class were you the most hyper?
that's hard to judge.  i stay hyper.

What was your favorite class?
science

Do you like lunch?
i take my lunch so yea

Do you like going to school?
sometimes

Who sits behind you in Period 3?
the door!!!!

How many kids are in your Period 2?
uh 20 something

What teacher do you dislike the most?
Mr. Byrd

Can you talk in your 3rd period?
yes totally

Who sits next to you in 5th period?
i have none
Who sits in front of you in 6th?
ain't got one

Summarize your year in three words?
freakin dadgum awesome

What do you hope next year is gonna be like?
less stressful...AN ADVENTURE.

What do you hope will change next year?
my life.

okay i'm going to try this again...it messed up really bad last time.

(this is an awesome song..."Roots Before Branches" by Room for Two.)

I heard part of this song on a commercial so i went and looked it up.  it is AMAZING!!!  so i want to dedicated to my AMAZING best friend in the whole world, grace.  you can do it.  (yes i mean you.)

=======

so many things you do and say
but i can't seem to find my way
but i want to know how
i know i'm meant for something else
but first i got to find myself
but i don't know how
oh why do i reach for the stars
when i dont have wings
to carry me that far

got to have roots before branches
and know who i am
before i know who i want to be
and faith to take chances
to live like i see a place in this world

for me

sometimes i don't want to feel
and forget the pain is real
put my head in a cloud
start to run but i fall
saying i can get it all
without my feet on the ground
there's always a seed before there's a rose
the more that it rains the more i will grow

got to have roots before branches
and know who i am
before i know who i want to be
and faith to take chances
to live like i see a place in this world
for me

whatever comes i know how take it
learn to be strong
i won't have to fake it
you want to stand there
when your coming through at best
there ain't nothing to beat the west
but i'll be standin'
i will be standin'

if i have roots before branches
and know who i am
before i know who i want to be
and faith to take chances
to live like i see a place in this world
for me

gen i need for you desperately to call me!!!!!!  i can not figure out what the heck i am supposed to do with this gay freakin prism.  i hate this.  it is not working.  there are no pretty colors and there's not any sunlight or anything.

I could go back, to every laugh, but I don't wanna go there anymore...I know all the steps, up to your door, but I don't wanna go there anymore.  Talk to the wind, talk to the sky, talk to the man with the reasons why...and let me know what you find.  I'll leave my window open, cuz I'm too tired at night to call your name.  But, just know I'm right here hopin' you'll come in with the rain...:).  I could stand up, and sing you a song, but I don't wanna have to go that far.  And I, I've got you down, I know you by heart...and you don't even know where I start.  Talk to yourself, talk through the tears, talk to the man who put you here, and don't wait for the sky to clear...

(to you, my imaginary rain.)

so  this song totally describes the way i feel right now...i think.  some of it does anyway.  here are the lyrics, along with side thoughts.

"He and I...it's something beautiful...but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last...I loved him so, but I let him go..." (did i though???  i don't think.) "...cuz i knew he'd never love me back.  Such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced..." (too bad it is.) "...I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious...Near to you, I am healing but it's taking so long.  Cuz though he's gone, and you are wonderful, it's hard to move on..." (tell me about it.  amen.) "...Yet, I'm better near to you..." (i'm not so sure.) "With you and I, it's something different...and I'm enjoying it cautiously.  I'm battle scarred..." (YES i am.  this sucks.) "...but I am working oh-so-hard to get back to who I used to be.  He's disappearing, fading suddenly..." (that's really suckish.) "...I'm so close to being yours..." (even though i wish i was his...) "...won't you stay with me...please...I only know that I am better where you are...I only know that I am better where you are...I only know that I belong where you are..." (but i want him to be there all the time..forever.  and this stinks.  i belong where he is...and i'm better there.  but i can't move.  i'm stuck in this spot, no matter how badly i want to get out of it.  when i'm with you and he's not there, it's no problem.  then i see him, and my knees go weak.  my heart beats fast...my mind starts racing with thoughts of how he and i could have been and should be.  but i can't move...help.)

so i just realized i was going the totally wrong direction.  i hurt someone (possibly) for someone else.  i messed everything up for nothing.  i got nothing out of this chaos.  if he would only realize the same thing...maybe we could...idk.

he tells me he would never hurt me..and i don't know what to think.  he tells me i'm his inspiration, and i still don't know what to think.  he tells me that no matter what happens, he won't change his feelings, and you guessed it, i don't know what to think.  i have no clue.

WOW!!!!!  so i've been in an AWESOME mood lately all because i have chosen to be.  (hey ya'll should go listen to the song "You Make My Dreams Come True" by hall and oates!)

anyway even though some of the stuff i have discovered really sucks, i am looking forward when it's not like that anymore.  I'm waiting until october...to see if this person can change their 'habits'...;).  and i can not wait until then.  excited am i.  lol  so how has your life been lately??  i really honestly care and i want to know. so tell me.  i'm totally clueless

When time slips through my fingers so I never get it back,

When all the moments I cherish seem to fall right through the cracks,

When everything around me seems like a clouded blur,

I know you’ll always be there, but then there’s always her.

When my heart begins to pound, and it tells me you are here,

When my fingers start to shake, and I only want you near,

When my heart is in my throat, and I don’t know what to say,

That’s the way you make me feel; I feel it every day.

When you look my way and smile that wonderful smile I love,

When I think to myself, “Surely, he’s sent from God above!”

When no one seems to matter, and you’re the only one I see,

That’s the way I truly wish you felt about me.

When I know it will never happen, my dreams just can’t be real,

When I think that no one will ever understand the way I feel,

When everything around me seems like a clouded blur,

I know you’ll always be there…but then, there’s always her.

guilty: you do
innocent: you don't

Singing in the shower?: guilty def.

Left the stove on?: idk

Ate Stale food?: guilty.

Spit in someone's Drink?: innocent that's nasty

Stole Something from a friend?: innocent

Played with Barbies?: innocent

Kissed your posters of your favorite stars?: lol guilty

Listened to stupid music and said you like it?: guilty.

Made someone cry?: guilty

Opened your Christmas presents early? never! innocent!

Found money, and didn't turn it in?: guilty.

Gave money to a homeless person?: innocent.  eww.
:)

Thought "Star Wars" was cool?: lol guilty  i'm a nerd

Had a super-hero costume?: inNOcent

Lied to protect a friend?: idk

Broken a bone?: innocent!

Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?: GUILTY

Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours?: innocent

Dyed your hair a color from the rainbow?:innocent


Hugged your mom in the past 24 hours?: idk

...Have you Ever...

Ran through the sprinklers?: who hasn't??  guilty

Ran through the sprinklers naked?: jeez louise no innocent

Went outside naked?: who would do that?  innocent

Flashed somebody?: innocent

Mooned somebody?: innocent

Been on stage?: duh guilty

been on stage naked or close to it?: eww innocent

Been in a parade?: Guilty

Been in a school play?: guilty

Drank beer?: inNOcent

Went to work/school with a hangover?: um well if i was innocent to the previous question, what do you think the answer to this one will be??  huh? 

Gotten detention?: innocent

Gotten expelled?: innocent

Been on a plane?: GuIlTy.

Been on a cruise?: inNOcent.  i would never get on a boat intentionally.

Traveled out of the country?: guilty

Liked somebody you could never have?: whoo don't get me started. guilty by far.

Liked a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?: lol if you could call them a friend guilty

Cheated on a test?: ......guilty.

Broken into a house?: um no thanks i'm not a criminal.  innocent.

Stolen from your own family?: omg no innocent

Flipped somebody off?: not to their face...:(  guilty...sad..

Ate spoiled food by accident?: gUiLtY

Ate spoiled food on purpose?: eww who would do that?  innocent

Ate food you dropped on the floor?: haha gross.  innocent

Laughed at a funeral?: well when they said something funny.  guilty

Watched somebody's death?: oh my gosh innocent

Killed somebody?: no innocent 

 

Gotten a tattoo?: innocent.  ouch.

Gotten piercings?: guilty.

Fired a gun?: Guilty

 

Gotten into a fist fight?: innocent.

Gotten into a shouting match?: guilty!!!.

Swallowed sea/pool water?: eww guilty

Swallowed sea/pool water on purpose?:WHO WOULD DO THAT???  innocent.  duh.

Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: YAY GUILTY

Laughed so hard it hurt?: guilty by far

Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: lol innocent

Seen a live birth?: no i prefer not to either.  nasty.  innocent

Delivered a baby/animal?: INNOCENT

Had an imaginary friend?: idk

Fell down a whole flight of stairs?: lol duh do you know who you are asking?  guilty

Tripped on stairs?: haha yes guilty

Tripped on your own feet?: duh guilty.

Cried yourself to sleep?: guilty.  sad.

Cried in public?: guilty

Thrown up in public?: innocent

Lied to your parents?: guilty

Skipped school?: innocent

Hit an animal with your vehicle?: i don't have a vehicle.  innocent.

cheated on someone?:no innocent

Been cheated on: innocent

 

Been one who helped another cheat?: innocent

Cried so hard you threw up?: innocent

Given a wet willy to someone?: haha guilty

Gotten a wet willy?: lol yeah guilty

She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile
She'll never notice how you stop and stare
Whenever she walks by
And you can't see me wantin' you the way you want her
But you are everything to me

And I just wanna show you
She don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

There's a fire inside of you
That can't help but shine through
She's never gonna see the light
No matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

And I just wanna show you
She don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

Like shadows in a faded light
Oh we're invisible
I just wanna look in your eyes
And make you realize

I just wanna show you
She don't even know you
Baby let me love you let me want you
You just see right through me
But if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible

She can't see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile...

have you ever had that feeling of knowing that something was going to turn out a certain way, and then when it did, you were both upset and surprised?  like even though you knew that's how it would be and you tried to prepare yourself for it, it still shocked you almost?  yeah...well...it sucks.  it sucks bigtime.  i don't really know how to describe the way i feel right now.  i don't know how to react yet...i don't know what to do.

so for this quiz thing, you use the first letter of your first name and all of your answers have to start with that.  they have to be real things!!! lol

WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Carmen

   

4 LETTER WORD: crap     
   
VEHICLE: coupe de ville
   
TV SHOW:  CSI miami/new york/los angeles/etc.  
 
CITY: Cheshire, England  
  
BOY NAME: Chico
 
GIRL NAME: Chloe 
 
OCCUPATION: cosmotologist       
SOMETHING YOU WEAR: CLOTHES      
FOOD:  creme brulee

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delus ional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

I f you have low self-esteem, please hang up...our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....Your turn

Are you happy that you met the person who posted this before you?
uh duh

Do you like orange juice?
eh it hurts my tummy...:P

Reason behind the last time you threw up?
sickness...but i don't remember when it was

Do you have unlimited texting?
no i have super limited!!!  which means no texting!!!  YEAH!  not.

Has anyone lied to you today?

probably but if they lied in the first place, why would they tell me???  tha's stupid.

What kind of shampoo do you use?
uh...some neutrogena stuff.  it smells bad.

How many myspace friends do you have?
a big fat ZERO

Isn't it a little late for you to be up?
um no it's only 9 o clock, homie.  gosh.

What song made you cry last?
i don't remember for they are few and far between. 

Sex?
GURL.

Who was the last person to abuse your trust?
i am not real sure...i don't think anyone has...and if they did i don't have a reason to bring it back up.  it's the past! 

How many times a day do you brush your teeth?
like 3 or more usually...fun

Do you like ring pops?
yeah they are the biggest rock i will ever have on my finger!

What do you think when you look in the mirror?
ewww what's that

What does your hair look like right now?
wet and curly...ish

What's your favorite brand of crackers?
AUSTIN!!!  lol

Last time you snuck out?
well....not ever

What's the reason behind why you last cried?
um i was at church and the sermon made me cry.  it was awesome

Ever dated anyone in your top 4?
i ain't not never ever dated no one

Do you like bananas?
um this is a freakin random question.  yes, i happen to quite enjoy the banana.

Do you try in school?
um sometimes.  but most of the time i don't have to.

1. Was your last kiss a mistake?
uh i ain't never kissed nobody.

2. When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
Tuesday

3. If the world was to end tomorrow, what would you be doing right now?
i would take chances with some that i wouldn't dream of taking any other time.

4. What was the last thing you heard?
i don't remember

5. What is bothering you right now?
something, i can't pinpoint it, but everyone seems to notice.

6. Do you think slavery was wrong?
yeah

7. Have you ever seen somebody get shot?
in a movie :P

8. When was the last time you got into a physical fight?
i've never really been in a physical fight, technically.

9. Who do you tell everything to?
Grace and God.  that's it.

10. Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom?
yeah i took my profile pic in a bathroom

11. Do you use big words?
uh yeah i guess so...people tell me i do.  i don't notice.

12. Have you ever been called a 'slut' or 'manwhore'?
hahaha lol *(inside joke, grace.)* yeah that'd be a yeah.
13. Where are you?
sadly, here.  not there.
14. Does your head hurt?
no but my heart does.

15. Favorite number?
i'd say something around the lines of 13.
16. Have you ever rented out a hotel room?
not me, as in carmen.
17. Have you ever injected a drug?
no thanks.  i don't roll that way.

18. When was the last time you saw your Father?
a few minutes ago, i believe.

19. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
i'm not listening to a song.

20. Do you use your friends?
i use them to talk to...and be friends with. :)

22. Do you fight with your parents often?
yes.

23. Where is the shirt you're wearing from?
um....it's mission 12:2 shirt.  it's from them or whatever.

25. Have you ever been in a car accident?
do not speak of car accidents.  i will get dizzy...again.

26. Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace?
uh yeah...do you know me?  no.

27. The thing that was bothering you before, is it still bothering you?
yeah i'm sure it prolly is

28. How often do you shower?
every freakin day.  random.

29. Do you know anyone with cancer?
yes

30. Do you have any picture frames in your room?
yeah a couple.  one has frogs on it.  i like it, quite a lot actually. 

31. Where did you spend Christmas?
at my house and my granny's

32. Ever smoked a cigarette?
I DON'T FREAKIN ROLL THAT WAY, HOMIE!

33. Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot?
yo homie, no.

34. Has anyone ever saved your life?
emotionally, yes.

36. Do you get good grades?
yeah sure why not

37. Have you ever been intoxicated twice in one week?
intoxicated on life.

38. Do you know a secret about anybody?
yeah sure.

39. Who cooks dinner in your home?
mi madre.  and occasionally, me.  if you call that cooking.  i just call it cereal and mac n' cheese. lol

40. Did you ever go to a special learning center?
i went to a school.  yay.

41. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
yeah a few times

42. Does a kiss make you feel better?
i do not know...never tried.

43.Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
um....naw.

44. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
before.  what kind of freak starts the water in the shower?  that's wierd.

45. What did you do today?
school...parent teacher conference, breathe a little, drama.

46. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
no i do not recall doing such.

47. Have you ever thought about your death?
um yeah.  that's sad.

49. Have you ever had stitches?
no i am a safe child.  lol not

50. How long ago did you hug someone?
i really don't remember.  i think it was tuesday.

51. Do you like the Red Sox or Yankees?
um...i like red socks.  they are purty.  yankees are northerners.  bleh.  ick.  gross.  lol

52. What are you doing this weekend?
so far, nothing except a 5K...no biggie!!  lol (hey grace, i wanna go to the movies.!!!!.)

53. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
no, to be honest, i am rather afraid of the hobos.  not really.  they are my friends.

so...my new profile song is for those of you that are trying to figure out who you are.  it's appropriately titled "Find Yourself" by Brad Paisley

(i love quotes.  <3)

"No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously."

"When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.  Very often, that individual is crazy." (my favorite.)

"Nobody cares if you can't dance well.  Just get up and dance."

"Never lick a steak knife."

"Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie."

"The most powerful force in the world is gossip."

"You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time."

-The Chatterbox

"If you decide not to choose, then you've already made the wrong choice."

"A dream is just a dream.  A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline." -Harvey Mackay

"you can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north."  haha

"A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands."  SO TRUE!!!

• FUN FACTS:
• 75% of all animals are insects.
• Blue whales are the largest animals that ever lived.  They are even larger than dinosaurs.
• Porcupines can float.
• Cockroaches can survive underwater for up to 15 minutes.
• A swordfish can swim about as fast as a cheetah can run. 

...I'm so determined to do this right.  I will not mess this up.  I want to, for once, find someone and get it right.  I'm not sure if I'm trying to be someone else...that you want, or if I'm being myself and you only want me to be just that.  I don't know who I'm trying to be, if anyone, but I'm trying not to try to be someone else.  I want to be the one that you understand.  Not the two people you don't.  Really, the only thing I want to be....

 

 

...is with you.

i want to hit someone right about now.  hard.  so hard that they won't forget it.  ever!  so hard that........that they fall on the ground and scream and cry like a little girl!!!!!!