AUDIENCE

October 27 2005


i went to Judgement House again last nite and then i went to The Judgement @ Family Worship Center. and it was amazing!!!! everyone should go! i'm prolly goin again Monday! ^^


Mama G talked about the NY trip yesterday! i cannot wait to go! >.< there are so many girls i wanna room w/ tho. i can't decide!


"In these seemingly worthless days
there is hidden a trick to being happy.
It was made for
everyone to share."



-Ayu



SEASONS

October 26 2005

I'm going to Judgement house tonite! ^^ if you wanna go w/, just call me!


"How much time must pass by,
in this finite existence of ours?
We'll live in the now,
and what will we find?"


-Ayu




I watched some of Ayu's A Museum concert this morning! ^^ awesomeness! lol I ordered her new concert dvd online a few days ago. can't wait to get it! here's a pic of it:


Trauma

October 25 2005

ya know what's really cool that happened to me tonite?? AMDA (American Music and Drama Academy) called me asked me to sign up to audition but i told them it'd be a couple of years before i could go there... -_- sadnes... but at least they called...


"As I don't even notice the flowers shaking before my feet,
I can't even look at myself in the mirror."



-Ayu

Fly High

October 25 2005

i went to judgement house last nite! props to Weston and Big Al for jobs well done! ^^ i have a voice lesson today! w00t! ^^
like my new profile pic? i took it this morning @ Waffle House; me and Elissa met this morning there and had bible study. we read the whole book of Ruth. pretty interesting... back then, to finalize the new ownership of land, one guy took his sandal off and handed it to the other guy lol and at Cracker Barrel, we saw Jordna!lol and Allen and my dad and Eric >.< lol



"I'm afraid. The steps I can't take
pile up, and turn into a long, long
path untraveled; I'm too late.
During that time, I started thinking that
somehow maybe even this place isn't so bad.
I kept giving myself reasons."


-Ayu


Untitled

October 23 2005

so i spent the nite @ Sayray's last nite w/ Jordan, Apes, Rae Rae, Chey, Bosly, and Will. and while me and others were asleep, Chey, Sayray, Will, and Rae Rae went to IHOP and Walmart @ 4 in the morning and then they came back.... and in the morning they were like "come outside, Raye, and look @ ur car. don't be mad." and i was like "what'd you do to Margery???" and they take me outside and i see this:





but i wasn't mad. especially since it was so fun and easy to rip all the stuff off... lol so i felt special. nobody has ever rolled Margery before... so twas cool. ^^



"It's all in this hand for sure.
If it doesn't move, I can't move it, but
It's all in this hand for sure.
If I don't start it, it never will."



-Ayu (Fly High)


End of the World

October 22 2005

"It must be impossible to live
without hurting anyone.

If you think you're such a victim,
then you should act out until the end
this pretense of not caring about losing everything."



-Ayu




We Wish

October 21 2005

well, the variety show went really well last nite! ^^ thanx for coming, everyone! hey, ya know what i heard? itz down to Cats (ugh!), Oklahoma (bleah!), and Miss Saigon!!!!!!! I love Miss Saigon and I really hope we do it! ^^ i would LOVE to play Kim!


"Don't be scared
And if you find a sunlit way
Spread your wings
And fly high and high"


-Ayu


GAME

October 20 2005

Variety Show tonite! everyone must come! ^^ starts @ 7:30 (but u should prolly get there @ 7 cuz we're supposed to sell out) and tickets are only $6! i'm proud of myself for my solo in the second show this morning! ^^



"I can smile naturally about this time tomorrow
As if nothing had happened
I've always walked in such a manner
But I can't control this game as I wish"


-Ayu


is this LOVE?

October 19 2005

"While some kind of loud noise was building,
In my mind, it was as though it was collapsing
Unable to move, I just kept standing there"


-Ayu


Been listenin

October 18 2005

"You're drillin' a hole in my ceiling
Too bad it won't rain"


-Drake Bell (Don't Preach)



i was watching Zoey 101 yesterday (which is actually a good show!) and i saw a commercial for goldfish and Drake Bell was on it! >.< you can win his stuff or a trip to meet him! i don't wanna be one of those squeely fan girls, but eeeeeeek! ^^ lol i love him to death! he's soooooo talented! >.<  and sooooooooooo good lookin! right now, he is the only guy i would give a second thought about dating but other than that, i'm not even wanting to date... but yay for Drake! ^^ lol

Hanabi~episode II~

October 17 2005

"This feeling, this feeling, go up into the sky
And be dispersed beautifully like a firework"


-Ayu





Evolution

October 13 2005
"Reality is a traitor; it's easy
to misjudge things. So with your own two eyes
please decide the worth of this place.
Do it with your own standards."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

RAINBOW

October 03 2005
"No rain, can't get the rainbow."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

Who...

October 01 2005
"When I stray from the path, and
When the path is too long,
I was muttering to myself.
That's the way life is...

I pray that this singing voice
will reach you...
I pray that this singing voice
will reach you..."
-Ayu

yeah.......

September 29 2005
Yeah, Drake Bell rox! but i just looked at his site and there are no tour dates set for TN... sadness....

Ok, itz official! There is nothing hotter than a guy w/ a Bible, guitar, and a set o' pipes...


photo from NeoDaydream


photo from NeoDaydream
i'd like to add Kyle Mann to the list lol ^^

Flower Garden

September 27 2005
"You and me--our walking paces,
the vistas we've seen,
and all our experiences
are all different.

For instance,
where I felt despair,
you find
a beautiful flower."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

Trauma

September 27 2005
"Today's happy face, today's sad face.
Yesterday's weak self, tomorrow's strong self.
If it's you, who are you showing it to? If it's me, who should I show it to?"
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

SURREAL

September 26 2005
"Choosing only the things you like
isn't irresponsible.
If you can't find anything you like
then why accept the responsibility?
I take only the possibilities that I'm ready to accept.

If it's something you don't need then
compassion is of no use at all.
If it's something important then
pain will probably accompany it.
Loneliness that you feel together is worse
than a loneliness that you feel
by yourself.

No matter what loneliness comes,
no matter what pain you feel,
you mustn't close your eyes to it.
Because even if you lose all your
words, even if you say it doesn't matter,
if you stumble
it will be there to help you up.
That's what kind of thing it is."
-Ayu

photo from NeoDaydream

Evolution

September 25 2005
"It's true, isn't it? It seems as though
we're headed for a new century. It's miraculous:
This is something you can only taste once.
Let's remember one more time.

On the day we arrived on this Earth
we were somehow happy,
and somehow it hurt.
We were crying

Reality is a traitor; it's easy
to misjudge things. So with your own two eyes
please decide the worth of this place.
Do it with your own standards.

We've arrived in these times.
But somehow things move on
So somehow we're standing here
and we're living through today."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

Naturally

September 23 2005
"I want to go to that place.
I've prepared for my journey;
all that's left is to start running.

The closer I get, the more
I seem to understand,
but I still pretend not to see.

But I've come to the point
where I can't turn back,
and that's where I hesitate.

Even stopping
scares me. Fragile and
crying, you said to me:

Being sad is the same as giving up.

In gathering, displaying, and viewing
only beautiful things
and seeing only beautiful dreams,
I was only lamenting reality.

Trying to give a shape to
happiness is the same as
saying there's no reason behind love.

Yes, I've been thinking too hard,
in my head. I've been searching
for answers I don't expect to find.

I'm tired of those days of meaningless fun.

While chasing and being chased,
I've lost sight of my home.
So as not to be hurt any more,
I closed my eyes and turned away.

In gathering, displaying, and viewing
only beautiful things
and seeing only beautiful dreams,
I only lamented reality.

No matter what this place is like,
no matter where I go next,
I'll share my freedom and loneliness.
I think I can make it as I am now."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream

M

September 23 2005
"As I look around,
everyone busily
hurries on by.

I noticed that this year, too,
the signs of winter have
come very soon.

Again, somewhere in this city today
two people will meet and fall in love;
the curtains are violently opened.

Even so, everything eventually,
someday, has an end.

Again, somewhere in this city today
two people split apart;
the curtains are quitely dropped."
-Ayu


photo from NeoDaydream


photo from NeoDaydream

Catcher in the Light

September 22 2005
"If you only look
You will never get it

If you only look
It will never be yours"
-Ayumi Hamasaki

in case you didn't notice, most of my entries are quotes from a Japanese singer, Ayumi (Ayu) Hamasaki. she is extremely cool! ^^
anyho, today was as good as it could be considering the complications...
this morning i got up at 5! (yeah, 5!) and went to Disciple w/ my baby sis (Elissa) and LaDonna at Waffle House. and it went really well! ^^ we decided on some memorization and then we read some 1 Timothy 1 which was awesome! so much good stuff in there!
anywayz, school was kinda tough cuz i'm not feeling that good... but God is sooooo funny to me! like, in Int. Mult. class we have to make a presentation on how to...(choose subject) and i decided to teach HTML code... and i couldn't figure out something i wanted to show on my presentation and i tried everything but i couldn't find it! and then, in my next class (Web Page design) we learned how to do it! We're so lucky to have a loving creator that has a sense of humor! lol and also... i've been worrying and voicing my worry about Alison Garner being a threat to me in choir (i want a part in the musical) and then we were put in groups to sing together in choir today and who am i put w/? Brett, Andy, Tyler... and... ALISON! i don't have anything against her, i mean, i love her to death, she's so sweet! but i kno how good she is...
anyho, i guess i better end this super long entry... ciao guys! ^^

Greatful Days

September 22 2005
"The season I was looking forward to has come
The wind is stirring, the city is taking life

The morning comes earlier than usual
I feel I can walk well only for that

There are plenty of terrible news around nowadays
But please don't leave pleasure behind because of sadness"
-Ayumi Hamasaki


photo from NeoDaydream

photo from NeoDaydream

NEVER EVER

September 21 2005
"Sometime, surely since before you were born,
I was searching for something unchanging.
I'd find it, and lose it, and sometimes
there were nights when I hurt people.

If just one of your wishes could come true,
If just one of your wishes could come true,
what would you wish for?
What would you wish for, here, under this sky?

Despite my strong desire,
I started giving up.
I'd find it, release it, and sometimes
there were nights when I hurt myself.

If there were something I could give to you,
If there were something I could give to you,
It would be my unchanging, certain thoughts.

If you'll laugh for me, even just a little,
then there's still a reason for me to live here.
If you'll search for me, even just a little,
then maybe my living here will be accepted.

If just one of your wishes could come true,
If just one of your wishes could come true,
what would you wish for?

If there were something I could give to you,
If there were something I could give to you,
It would be my unchanging, certain thoughts.
Yes, my unchanging, certain thoughts.
Right here."
-Ayumi Hamasaki


photo from NeoDaydream

Forgiveness

September 20 2005
"Sometimes
We make
Terrible mistakes

And then while
We come to overlook a little
Like onlookers

We start to walk
As if nothing had happened
But I remember today
That the fighting never ends

Maybe everyone did so to protect love"
-Ayumi Hamasaki


photo from NeoDaydream