Cassie Frye




Ramblings of A Distressed Writer

June 05 2007

Well, I don't know exactly what to say...I love to write. That's quite obvious from my title. I suppose by now, you are wondering what I am so distressed about. It's more complicated than one might think, but I feel writing it out would be helpful.


Ever since I was around 9 I have written stories, though never finishing them, never even getting past the first chapter somtimes. This never bothered me too much,  becasue though I did love creating stories, I knew I didn't have the least not yet.


I didn't get the "drive" to write until I met a certain friend with a binder holding a 600 page hand written story. I was so inspired by her dedication, that I vowed to finish a story.


It is my pleasure to say that after two years I have been true to my vow and finished my first real story, "Faith Will Lead You On".


Ok, so now I will be getting to my main point. While writing my I started off real slow, writing here and there, and I was doing fairly well. Then, I decided to post this story of, a site I recently found. I imediatly was consumed by this site, reading other people's stories writing my own, and even getting on the computer almost every few hours just to check if I got a review. My mind was filled with thoughts of "did I get a review?" or "what should my next chapter be about?" or "I wonder what will happen next in that person's story?". It was the first thought in morning and last tough at night.


As you can tell, I was engulfed, and my grades slipped just a little. My parents approached me about this and I told them I would try to back off a little. This helped but I still constantly thought of it.


Ever since I made the vow to myself, I felt God tugging at my heart saying, "don't write this certain story" (I had started more than one story before I wrote "FWLYO"). I was distressed becasue I just COULDN"T stop. I would break my vow, my friend (the one who inspired me and has in turn looked up to me for spiritual advice in her own trials), would not understand why, and plus I didn't WANT to. The former may be my biggest downfall.


Then I started playing mind games with myself saying that God didn't want me to give up writing, he just wanted me to give it up to him. This was reasonable enough and I gave it to him, at least I thought I did. Deep down in my heart, though, I knew that it wasn't true. 


As of now, I decided to refrain from posting another story until it is finished. I found that part of the reason that I got so engulfed was becasue I had the drive that I needed to please the readers and update as soon as possible.


Even upon taking this step, I still struggle with the same question as the summer starts. With all the time on my hands, it is so easy to fall into temptation and become even more engulfed in my writing. My question..."What is God's will for my writing?". I want to write for God, but I don't exactly know how. When I write I don't think about God...I only think about the story. I know you all are not God to tell me what I should do, but I just wanted to ask your honest opinion.

♥ eyes...♥

June 05 2007
well...i'm not sure i'm completely understanding what you're saying, but i'll give you my p.o.v. i was working on a story not very long ago and i still tried to incorporate God into it. The whole story itself wasn't about God, but it still had some points in it. (i posted it on here if you want to read it or whatever) i'm not sure if that helps or not, but there you go!


June 05 2007
I think that anytime you sit down to write, just ask God to guide you. And wow, I should take my own advice... because that's something I have failed to do. Maybe that's why I have never been able to finish a story either (because like you, I've started many)... Anyhow, maybe part of the thing is that you don't need to put it on the website, and that may help you from being too engulfed. It might also be good for you to try to come up with other things you need to do that day other than write so that you have other things to occupy your mind. Also, like your friend said before, God should definitely be in your story. It doesn't have to be a "Christian" story, but as a Christian, I think your worldview is going to affect what you write, and you need to make sure you don't compromise that. I know it's hard though, because I have fallen into that temptation before. I know there were times I ended up deleting something I may have spent an hour on because I knew it was a bunch of garbage and not honoring God. So always stay focused on Him when you write! Thanks for the comment you left on my Facebook note. Since we've been anticipating the death it makes things easier, but it's still kind of hard. Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck with your writing!