Its hard to think that like 10 or 11 years ago on today *the 22* Amy had just had surgery... We got talkin about this tonight at dinner and it really made me think of all I have to be thankful for.  I mean I have a great family who would do anything for me, a great boyfriend who I am so lucky to have, and great friends who are always here for me when I need then.  I know those sound like the usual things you are thankful for but I dont know for some reason it just feels right typin them up in this post
 
 Have you ever thought about how something can influence something else... like when I was little I was jealous of Amy after she had her surgery because she got all of these cards and ballons and stuffed animals *all the stuff a little 5 year old would want* and so I would do stuff to get attention... Well now that Im grown up I still do stuff for attention because thats just who I am and how everyone is even if they wont admit it
 
 I love it how when I was little I always wanted to be like my sisters and I would dress like them and I would act like them and do whatever they told me to do.  Well now Im to the point and Im like I wanna be little again, I wanna wear sweats to school with no makeup and my hair a mess and not have anyone say anything to me
 
 Today Becky and I got talkin about our old house in Indiana and all the little random things we remembered about it like how when I was little I would go out into our garden with my mom and we'd just sit out there and color and it would be our time while Amy and Becky were off at school.  Or how when I was waitin with mom for Amy and Becks bus to arrive how Id talk to my imagine horse that would call me *it was really imaginary you see it was one of those little electronic things out infront of a Meijer store and for some reason Id talk to it every morning*  But in life its the little things I miss the most 

So all day pretty much it has looked like it was going to just pour down rain..... it finally starts to rain but the sun is still out and there is a little thunder here and there but its nothing scary... I love days like to day becuase the weather is like perfect cuz theres sunshine and a breeze and I just LOVE fall days!

Ever been afraid that you wont have the same feelings that you once did...like you get so used to someone being there for you and you depend on them so much that you dont know what youd do if they left..... but your so dependent on them that you feel like maybe it would be better if they left for a while?  Like when you first met them you got butterflies in your stomach and you were so happy when the end of 5th period rolled around cuz then youd get to see that person but now since you see them everday like 3 or 4 times and you talk to them every night...that feeling of butterflies isnt there anymore but you still like them?

Ever been afraid that youll look fat in your senior pictures or that you wont have a date to prom?

Ever afraid that you dont have any true friends?  Like at Amy and Beckys graduation parties they had so many friends there and I was ok with that cuz I loved their friends and I hung out with all of them so I didnt need my own but now I look at it and I get so scared that I wont have friends at my graduation party...I have a really good friend but she goes to a different school and I hardly get to see her and like my best guy friend also goes to a differnt school and they have their own friends so who  do I end up with?  Wow that sounded stupid but I really dont care

Christi

 Ever feel like your putting on a show?  Like you go to school and you put on your happy face because your around your friends all day and then you come home and then your happy face just goes away  Like you have nothing to do like you sit around and watch tv and you wait for your boyfriend to call and then you hope that when he does itll be so yall can do something that night and when he finally calls its too late to do anything

I miss hangin out with my true friends who went to different schools...I mis comin home and being able to talk to Becky about my problems and complain when something goes wrong..... I miss feeling like Im a part of something

I fell like any more Im throwin on this fake smile and this fake attitude for every one else and I never getta do what I wanna do...I fell like everything I do is for some one else

Im sorry this is so sad but its how I feel any more

Wow its been such a long time.  Summer is almost over and it has been pretty good except for the last like week but whatever life goes on.  Becky leaves in like 4 days and its gonna be weird.  I helped her pack up some of her stuff yesterday and it really hit me that shell be gone in just a few days.  I hope everyone has had a good summer since its pretty much over

Hey guys well Ive decided to update since I havent in like forever Highschools goin great meetin some new ppl. Volleyballs also great we lost to Blackman but it was really close like 22-25 I dont know how long Ill be out but hopefully the doctor can just fix my thumb so I can still play but I wont know till Monday

Well Orientation was tonight and it actually wasnt that bad. Ill have to like run from my first period and fifth but whatever... Lauren and I have 3 classes together so it will be alot of fun!


Christi

Hey guys well today was just like every other day this week I had volleyball and work... Work was fun untill I was asked to take out the trash by the pool and the bag like ripped and had water and like diapers with crap on them in it and it busted all over my foot so I then had to get a bigger trash bag to put it in and then drag it out to the trash. After that I had to put Clorox on the pool deck and on this litte like pool cover thing cuz the crap and water had gotten on it and trust me the smell of Clorox and crap stinks! So yeah I was cleanin out the trash can that it all was in and it like sprayed up into my face so I got in the car and I was so mad and disgusted that I just like started cryin lol Oh and did I mention that the diapers had like magots or little white worms on it?

Just been one of those days.....

Hey wow its been forever since I last updasted this thing. Nothin new here just had volleyball all week and work and other than that nothin special. Well I g2g

Luv ya Christi

Ok Im back Ive decided that I will keep postin and just ignore certain people on here..... Today was fun Becky, Leah, Megan, and I all went to the lake and it was a blast we acted so slow and stupid and let me tell ya intertubing was an interestin experiance Leah thought we were gonna die the whole time, Becky and I were like flyin everywhere, and Megan and I had a nice ride. Glad we didnt have to work cuz it was so much funner

Also caused too much drama..... No more!

OK you know what Im tired of all this crap...

Hey guys well I just got this so yea