April 25 2006

Well then.  So I'm sure I'm failing at least two classes this semester, if not three.

Why is this, you ask?  Why is this happening?  Because, I'm tired.  I'm tired of writing papers, memorizing stuff I may never see or use again, spending most of my time (typically 12 hours or more a day, everyday) not at home but instead being in class or work...  I'm tired of collage.  I'm just plain tired of it.  I want to do more with it, but by the same token, I don't care about it anymore.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that going through college gets you more money and less time to enjoy life.  So what if you're makin' $60,000+ a year?  Whoopty-woop.  Fantastic.  You don't have time to live a life outside of that, do ya?  You spend your money on eating lunch at work, groceries, car bills, house bills, and random stuff.  You can't spend time doin' other stuff.  Hell, you don't have time for your children because you work and work.  In MMORPG lingo, cg m8.

...The more I think about it, the more I want to avoid that fate.  I don't care that much about money.  I just want enough to live "comfortably".  I want to have a good, fair amount of spare time I can spend with my children when the time comes; I don't want to simply abandon them to school, pop culture, and whatever crap the country feeds our children these days.  I want to enjoy life, not simply live it like so many "professionally"-hired Americans do these days.  It's an empty experience, one of a constant, never-ending cycle of boredom.  I don't want to work 40+ hours a week, only to come home and go "Bleah..." and sleep, and keep doing that over and over again.  Quite frankly, fuck that.

I want to experience the town I live in, visit the world, partake in so much more than just video games (the only things I have time for in these hectic times of constant work and school alternation), go volunteer working, go do something so much more meaningful than stupid busy work that's, much of the time, too heavily rewarded.

...Collage is getting me nowhere fast towards that life.  At the very least, it sure seems like it.

I'm tired of existing and so desperately want to start living...

...And as a side note, this whole abortion/anti-abortion stuff outside the KUC is just pissing me off.  Ultimately, when it comes down to it, you must take a little bit of both sides, not purely one or the other.  Mediation is the best route.  Abortion is okay, under very certain circumstances.  But if 18-year-old college-bound-girl-dumbass gets bored and wants to have sex and ends up getting pregnant, then you're on your own, stupid girl.  Cry more newb!  You shoulda thought about that before saying "Yes, screw me please!"  Take some responsibility, people, gawd.

...If they're set up tomorrow, it'll eventually reach a climax and pointless riots will ensue.  And, y'know what?  I'm just gonna laugh on the sidelines.


April 25 2006
We've really got to talk more, man.