Phusebox

burdened heart

November 12 2006

Three years ago I had an energy for Jesus I thought I wouldn't lose.

Two years ago I was going through a depression I thought wouldn't end.

One year ago I realized that though my faithfullness to God had paid off, the energy I had for Him had almost stopped.

It's so hard to see the world as I saw it at 17.

I was almost in tears as I drove to Panera Bread with Mom last night.

God doesn't change, this I know.

It is I that changed, and I love Him so much, but I cannot figure out why I'm having such a hard time being on fire for Him again.

I know He is faithful. He has led me this far, and He continues to.

I really used to feel like I was a light for Him.

Now I don't.

I want to be a light.

Sam-Graham Jinn (Graham Wells)

November 12 2006

I know that too well, you phrased it better than me.

I believe that even when we don't feel like we're a light, we are in some sort of way as long as we're looking to God. Although I know sometimes I feel I'm messing up in that area as well. I feel that same sort of slump... have I really done anything for God? But sometimes, it's just the small things we do that He wants to work through. Anyhow, here's an Oswald Chambers quote for you - I hope it helps some: "We tend to rely on our own energy instead of being energized by the power that comes from identification with Jesus Christ."