okay... so this is random... but there's a quote going through my head from school... a guy in my speech class used it... and it's stuck

"Two things testify about you. your talk talks and your walk talks. BUT your walk talks louder than your talk talks."

lol... kinda sounds crazy... but if you think about it... it makes sense.

*so i was at church the other night... and for some strange reason i was reading the bulitin (strange... b/c everyone at church knows that i always politely take one... but never actually open it)... and i was reading over the prayer list... and i saw my name! which was also strange... it was a request to pray for my freshman year... i thought that was sooo sweet.... that my church family loved me enough to put me on the list... and then it hit me... their prayers for this last semester were answered... b/c all that i got accomplished sooo wasn't me... and the fact that i wasn't home sick... and how much God really blessed me... God blessed me soo much and gave me all kinds of grace... mainly for the reason that people prayed for me. awe!!! that really choked me up! ahh! it's soo awesome!

*thought for the day... "For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8:6) this was in my devos today... and i really made me think about how as Christians.. when we focus on the world... and we focus on material things... or we lust after what we don't have... it kills us spiritually... but when we focus on the things that can't be touched... when we seek to serve those around us... and just seek after spiritual things insted of worldly things... we become spiritaully alive... and we find the peace. how awesome is that? and it just made me take a step back... and think about all the things that just kill me spiritually. it was really just a good heart check for me... so i thought i'd share it with you guys... maybe it means nothing to you... but maybe it's something you need to hear to. anyways... it's late. night guys! ~Hope

i'm feeling so rushed in the love department. lol. i mean... at the biginning of the semester my sister and my mom were both calling me night and day trying to find out if i had any dates yet. lol. (maybe not night and day... but pretty close). yeah... i had a few dates... but no one of interest... so toward the end of the semester my sister sets me up on a blind date... and now she's talking about setting me up on another one. my brother won't leave me alone about the first one... and my brother-in-law interegates me all the time. i guess the deal is... both my parents and my sister & bro-in-law have found something so wonderful... that they can't wait for me to find it too. and i think that's awesome... but i'll find is when God brings it my way. i don't even want to focus on it so much... i have so much more going on right now... i have so much i want to be doing. how can i pour myself into all of it if i'm sitting around moping about what i don't have?.... i already have soo much. i'm afraid that all that God has planned for my semester (or even year)... all the things He wants me to learn... and ways He wants me to grow... all the friends i'm supposed to make (guys and girls)... will just go over my head.. b/c i wasn't looking for them. if the right guy comes along this year... awesome. but i'm going to leave that one up to God. He knows what He's doing. He knows the beginning... and the end :) ~Hopes

I've heard a tale that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves.
How many times has he broken that promise?
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain,
but I walked the hill of calvary

And just to be with you I'd do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
Just to be with you I would give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

I've heard it said that a man would swim an ocean
Just to be with the one he loves.
But all of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done.
Well I never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

And just to be with you I'd do anything,
there's no price I would not pay, no
and just to be with you I would give everything.
I would give my life away.
Yeaaaa

And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the Cross for your sin
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again

Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay, no
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away.
Yeaaaaa

Just to be with you
Oh, just to be with you

**so... i'm looking back over the past year... and realize i'm not the same. and i'm glad. i think it would be sad if i was the same. i want to grow! i want to change... i want to become more like Christ... and i know that i fall soo short of that... and i always will... but "if you shoot for nothing, you'll hit it every time"

**i look back and see all the blessings i was given this past year. all the friends that have been placed in my life... i keep replaying the night me and Am just sat in her car for an hour and a half... talking about everything on our hearts... i think of the day i found out that Whitney was going to PCC too. i think about graduation. i think about my last visit to camp. i think about my first day at PCC. i can't forget how alone i felt at first... and how quickly that passed. i think about the day my no-dating commitment ended... and how my suite all made it special. i think about going on my dating outing w/ some random guy that my roomates found at the soccer game the night before :) (now i have a story to tell all my freshmen in the future. hehe) i think about mid-terms. i think about Chels standing in the middle of the room screaming that we pull tighter and zip her into the formal that she's determined to zip. lol... and how she ended up wearing something else. haha. i think about my blind lunch date that my sis set me up on... and how i was shocked that he was really cool. i think about finals... and how God totally took care of it. i think about my last breakfast on campus w/ Mitchell (my best guy friend)... and i laugh about how he went from 8 to 90 demerits in one week. haha. i also think of all the times God totally guided me... He was there w/ me all the way... and i see how blessed i truely was in 2005... now i'm trusting that God has so much more instore for 2006

**this next year i really just want to focus more on ministering to others... and not myself. i want quite making excusses and go on Christian service... i want to serve those around me more... i know i must have been a terrible roomate... but anyways.. i'm gonna go. night, kiddos. ~Hope

searching for something to say... searching for something of meaning to describe how life is... to describe how i feel. i feel so many different things right now... confusion, excitement, wrestlessness, joy... so much... all at once. i'm happy to be home... and yet... i can't wait to go back to school. i really love it there. i know it sounds crazy... but i do. i can't explain it. i think God has replanted my heart there for some crazy reason. i dunno... some days i wake-up... and wonder what i'm doing... why i am i chasing the major i'm chasing... why i'm going to a school that everyone critisizes me for choosing. why i so badly want to prove them wrong about me. and yet... i wonder... what am i really trying to prove... and who i'm trying to prove it to. then i get up and read my Bible... and remember... that i'm not fully going to understand the answers to all my questions... the reason why i'm at this school is because God led me there... the reason why i'm in this major is still beyond me... but i know God's still in it... all i really just want to prove is God's glory... i'm trying to prove that He really did die for the world (yet... i know God's word proves itself... i know that it's not up to me)... i just want prove that He really does use sinners like me... i want to prove that God can use me inspite of me. i can truely rest in the fact that even though i have no idea where life goes from here... God's got it all planned out... and better yet... He's left me a road map and a guide... His own Word.

i've got all i need. :) ~Hope

hey hey... it's up and running. how cool is that?!

"i'll remember the suffering your love put you through, and i'll walk through the valley... if you want me to."

I'M HOME!!! i love it at PCC... i really do... but it's nice to be home. i have to tell you... i got through by God's grace alone. there's been frustration, drama, and arguements... i mean... yeah... we're human. but there's been a lot of good things too. i think God really began taught me what it means to trust Him... if i had known how many times i would make a complete fool of myself or stress or barely get by... i wouldn't have gone. but i'm glad that God knew and He placed me there anyways. it's been awesome... and in a way i can't wait to go back... well... for now i'm glad to be home. i missed you all!!! and i hope to see you while i'm here for the next 5 weeks :) ~Hope

1 Thess 5:24 "Faithful is He who hath called you, who also will do it."

*this week has been so hectick... tonight i pretty much come to the end of all this preperation... i leave tomorrow after church to go to Alabama... and from there we head of to Pensacola Christian... i'm filled w/ mixed emotions. i'm not sure what i feel.

*the past few days have been filled w/ final goodbyes... tears... and hugs. today Amber gave me a note that made my day.... i mean... we're talking the kind of note that you hide in your pillow case and take out and read until it falls apart. the kind that makes you happy and sad all at the same time. i'm going to miss that girl... and everybody else too. you each mean soo much to me. and since this may be my last post for a while... everyone have a great semester... be good... wear your seatbelts... and stay close to Jesus. (He leads the way :) I LOVE YOU ALL!!! TAKE CARE!!! ~Hope

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things; which thou knowest not." -Jeremiah 33:3

if you wish to contact me... email me at HopefulinTN06@yahoo.com (i'll only be checking this address on the weekends from my sister's house... so i'll email you back from my PCC address once i get it)

*this time next week i'll be sitting in class. scary... isn't it?

*so today i started my serious packing. i never realized how much stuff i have! i hope it all fits. i'm still pretty calm... so far so good :)

*lately i've been studying Jeremiah in my quiet time. before i really didn't know what it was about. so far it's God calling to His children and just pleading w/ them to turn from their false idols... and He's asking them over and over again what has He done for them to turn away from Him. He asks them if their idols have made them... or if these "gods" can really save them from destruction... or if they show mercy and grace. and you know... as i was reading it i was thinking (like everyone else) ,"how foolish they were.".. but then it hit me. how many time do we do the same thing? we make things... or fame... or praise... or sometimes relationships the focus of what we live for... yeah... maybe we'll keep God in the picture... but He doesn't get top priority... how many times do we take a moment out of our day just to sit w/ Him.. know Him... talk w/ Him. we say a short little pray that's to our benefit... but what about praising Him? God wants to be our greatest love. and it's such ashame that we aren't willing to love Him the way He wants to be love. i mean... never spared anything for us b/c He loves us soo much. He gave His Son for our eternity! THAT'S LOVE!!! so God's call to you and me today is "Love Me." do you? ~Hope

dun-dun-duh!!!! 4 DAYS! HECK YES!!! College... here i come!!!

So yeah... things are great. today i was thinking... so how awesome is it that Christ freed us all from the influence of our sin?! i mean... yeah... we're still going to fall and make mistakes.. but how amazing and how blessed are we that we don't have to feel hopeless... that we don't have to live our lives as slaves to sin?! HOW WONDERFUL!!! WE'RE FREE!!! and it really makes me ashamed that i don't always live like that. i'll have a bad attitude.. or i'll just feel alone... and i'm not. i have and AmAzInG SavIoR!!! so why not just live my life in praise of that.. why not get a lil "crazy" and tell someone for once. why don't i share God's saving grace? i mean... it's not just for me! Christ died for the world!!! and the world doesn't even know it! anyways... i just thought that i'd share that. i love you guys! ~Hope

*so today i realized what an awesome brother i have. i mean... niether of us are perfect... and we usually fight allot (which we haven't done so much this summer for some strange reason)... but my goodness. i just realized how much my brother looks after me and takes care of me. today he gave me some of his notes from freshman theory... he's going to lend me one of his hoodies since i can't take my favorite UofM hoodie... and he's going to help me plan my schedual. it's just little stuff like that. i know that God is really working in him. i can see it. i hope that senior year is a good year for him. i really do. anyways... just thought i'd say that. hehe. just don't tell him that i said any of this ;) ~Hope

*last night i went w/ Am and Mikey to see the Brothers Grimm. i liked it okay. it was good for a PG "scary movie". ya know? lol. anyways.. i had fun.. my last time to hang w/ Mikey poo. i

my heart is restless in me
my wings are all worn out
i'm walking in the wilderness and i cannot get out...

i need you, oh i need you... blessed savior come
i need you, oh i need you... fill the every longing of my soul!
oh how i need you Lord! i need your perfect Word
with tearful eyes i see the sin that i afford
i need to weep and pray for all the thousand ways that i have failed you just today...

my bed is soaked with sadness
my sadness has no end
a downward spiral of despair that i keep falling in...

i need you, oh i need you... to you my soul shall fly
i need you, oh i need you... Yahweh, how i love you more than life!
oh how i need you Lord, i need your perfect Word
with tearful eyes i see the sin that i afford
i need to weep and pray for all the thousand ways that i have failed you just today...

your silence is like death to me
so won't you hear my desperate plea!
today my soul is soaring
way over mountains high
tho i can see the valleys... they're all just passing by
it's not that i am stronger! look at my feeble wings

but i've been lifted higher... Yaweh's lifted me in His own strength!

oh how i love you Lord! i love your perfect Word
with tearful eys to see the God that always will endure

now i will celebrate for all the thousand ways that you have showed me grace
and made my heart in grace to stay
i need you , oh i need you!

*so today was my last day. they had cake for me... made me cry. i love those people so much! i have done so much growing up there over the past 2 years. i can't believe i don't work next week. i can't believe that i'm leaving and not coming back after a week. it's so insane. like... my mind can't even comprehend (sp?). in one way i'm sad...

*but at the same time... on the other hand... i'm so excited about school. i can't wait to dive into weekend ministry and orcestra! i'm also planning on taking sign language on Sunday afternoons. that's so awesome! i can't wait to see what all God has instore. Music Ministries is going to be an awesome major!!! and i can't wait to spend time w/ my sister's family. i love my neices! they are so cute! ahh... i'm just bubbling over w/ joy. i hate to leave people behind... but this is how it is... and i accept that.

*next week is filled w/ last goodbye's and packing. bring on the tears ;) PCC HERE I COME!~Hope

"I have decided to follow Jesus,
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus,
No turning back
No turning back

The world behind me,The cross before me,
The world behind me,The cross before me,
The world behind me, the cross before me,
No turning back
No turning back "

*so things are going great... yesterday i went to Walmart to get my boxes to move all my stuff... it's funny b/c the cart was so full i had to walk on my tip-toes to see over. the cute guy at the door laughed at me... can't i really say i minded tho. lol.

*mom is actually surprised that i haven't freaked out yet... my cousin is quite nervous about starting MTSU next week... me? presently i am "calm as a cucumber" (as my mom says)... we'll see how that is next week tho.

*they had a going away "fellowship" thing at my church for me Sunday night... they gave me money... like 188... and then wednesday one of our older ladies gave me a 20... so i've got 208 dollars... i was blown away!!! God is seriously taking care of me!!

*Amber's my soul mate!

*anyways.. i'd better skoot... talk to you guys later... leave me remarks... or die!!! well. maybe not... but still... leave me remarks! ~Hope


**update** so i went to work tonight... and guess what?! I GOT ACCEPTED FOR THE CHICK-FIL-A SCHOLARSHIP!!! PRAISE GOD!!! MY SCHOOL IS COVERED FOR THIS YEAR!!! (i mean... the scholarship is only a thousand... but i already had 6 thousand. so yeah!!! yay!!!)

oh... and i've already told a few people... but i think i've found what my calling is... young people. i know that that sounds crazy... and i still don't know where all that's going... but man... i just want to tell teens that God loves them... and i know that i don't always do a very good job... but oh do i want to reach teens. they are my burden. i think that might be why i want to work at the Wilds so bad. i didn't get hired last summer... but i talked to Ken Collier (the camp director for the Wilds) and he said not to let one summer discourage me. so maybe this will be the year... and if not... i'll apply for west branch (it's the west camp for the Bill Rice Ranch)... and if not there... then God has some other plan for my summer... i know i sound insane... i think it's b/c i'm tired. lol. night!

aaaah! i'm starving!!! i just realized that it's 2:43 and i haven't eaten since 9!!! lol... i think i'll get something before work... i know it was random... but that's what i'm feeling. lol

p.s. 12 more days!

Friday is my last day at Chick-fil-A... i guess i have mixed feelings about it. i'm ready to move on... but not ready to let friends go... Friday will deffinately be tear filled... that's a given.

13 days until i leave for college!!! woohoo!!!yeah... life is crazy... summer is wrapping up. but i think it's in a good way this time. i love you guys!!! ~Hope

"My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of His correction: for whom the Lord loveth He correcteth; even as the Father [correcteth] the son in whom he delighteth." -Proverbs 3:11-12

*Lauren's post seriously spoke to me... the thing that stood out most was when she said "That's why He's my saving grace" how amazing is that?! i mean seriously... can you personally say that Christ is your saving grace?! i'm so thankful that i can!!! here i am this *mess-of-a-person*, i fail countless times... and STILL... Christ loves me... when He sees me He doesn't see my sin anymore... He sees what i can be... His sees the plan that the Father has for me. wow! He's fully freed my from my sin and grief. so why shouldn't i rejoice?! why shouldn't YOU rejoice?! if you haven't yet... talk to God tonight/today... ask Him to free you too... He can and He will!

*"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." -Jeremiah 33:3

Free -Ginny Owens
Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals outta small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdened
This is how it's been
Fear of coming out of my shell
Too many things I can't do too well
'Fraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail
This is how it's been
'Till the day you pounded on my heart's door
And you shouted joyfully, "You're not a slave anymore!"

Chorus
And you're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet and you're
Free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to me
And free to love
'Cause I've given you my love and it's made you free(free) Free!

My mind finds hard to believe that
You've become humanity and
Changed the course of history
Because you loved me so
And my heart cannot understand why you'd
Accept me as I am but you see
You've always had a plan and that's all I need to know
So when I am consumed by what the world will say
It's then you're singing to me as you remove my chains!
Chorus
Oh free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile!

*it stormed today for a little while... Mike was playing around... and decided to dare God (big mistake)... he said "Okay God... let's see what you got?!" and at that moment... guess what? the lights went out. they were out for like... i dunno... 30 minutes to an hour? we couldn't do anything... except stock... and the back cut lemons and stuff. i'm serious... we couldn't serve dinks b/c the fountain is somehow electrical... we couldn't keep the food heated... we couldn't ring stuff up... we couldn't do ANYTHING!

**so now i'm thinking back on it... and it hits me... just like Chick-fil-A has to rely on the power of electricity... we have to rely on the power of God... but you know what's awesome? God never has a power failure! His power supply is endless!!! isn't that amazing?! nothing is too big for Him!

*Jeremiah 32:27 "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?"