yeah...

 so i've come to the conclusion that no one actually reads this.. and im ok with that... cause its pretty much just my place to rant/talk about my day...

well tonight has been a true blast.. i've been hanging out with my friend todd from work... who is an absolute BLAST! its been intense... in a good way of course!!!

but yeah.. life seems to be going pretty good.. well except for school of course....

i've been worrying about my dad a lot recently... he keeps calling me randomly out of the blue just to talk... and it just really worries me... i mean ever since his brother died.. i have just been worrying about him.. cause he just seems.. well different... i dunno what to think about it.... i mean i know he's "ok" but really i dunno it just scares me.. i hope he really is ok.. and that hes just not putting up a front or anything.. i really just wish i could see him.. cause if anything ever happened to him i honestly dont know what i would do... i would be completely devistated...

i dunno..

im going to bed now cause well its almost 3 and i have to be at work at 10 and i CANT be late... hahaha

so its bed time!

have a great night to anyone that reads this!

<em> 

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never a dull moment...

if things werent complicated in my life enough....

my friend Gin called me... which if you have read this at all or knew anything about me... she is the one that was supposed to move up to K-ville with me and live in an apartment but then didnt.... so yeah i havent talked to her since july.... and i was feeling extra crappy this week so i sent her an e-mail not expecting a response... but she called me... i talked to her for a few minutes but i was extremely busy so i had to end the convo early but i told her i would call her back.. and i havent yet cause i've still been super busy....

but yeah that was pretty crazy....

today is going to be an actually calmer day compared to the rest of my week... i dont have a test or quiz but i do have to go to work in like 30 min. so that'll be fun..haha

well i think thats it for now....

till next time,

emily 

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stuck...

mmk... so this situation NEVER happens to me....

i seriously feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place... and whats killing me even more is that its still all uncertain... thats one thing i hate more than anything.. uncertainty...

 i hate feeling like im leading someone on... like really thats the worst feeling in the world... but i just dont know what to do... 

i dont think i can choose at this point...

this is going to take some intense thinking... and hope when all i have is doubt....

to the nights of uneasy thinking...

and the days of worry hearts...

<emily> 

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how people amaze me...

so this has been one of the best weeks of my life....

i mean its kinda wierd to think about... but somewhere in the back of my head i feel like god shows me signs everyday of what he wants out of me and its usually through the people that i randomly meet...

for example... i just became a member of the campus entertainment board... and i met this amazing person... and not in the OMG HES SO HOTT amazing.. like this person is seriously a genuinly amazing person... he has so much depth... and in the 2 or 3 times we have hung out he knows more about me then some of my "friends" especially some of the other guys in my life... and in these few times we have been together he has taught me sooooo much about myself and others... its truly amazing.... plus no one has ever made me laugh as much as he has....

in all seriousness i have never been so excited about spending time with someone only because i feel like i learn so much about myself and others just from being with this person...

i dunno... its so crazy... especially after the past few weeks to now have him in my life... its just such a blessing...

i'll be the last person to talk to you about religion... especially cause im not really sure what i believe these days.. i mean dont get me wrong i believe in god... its just the specifics of everything that still doesnt settle with me... 

i dont even know where i was going with this post... i just sometimes feel like rambling on about my feelings and emotions cause hell im a girl and its just what i do... hahaha

well thats about it i think.... im just having a super week... minus the fact that i have 3 tests next week that i havent exactly started studying for.. OOPS!

but one of my best friends is coming in town today... AND IM SOOO EXCITED!!!! shes so kick ass.. i love her!!!

well thats really it....

till next time...

breathe in breathe out

tell me all of your doubt

everybody bleeds this way,

just the same

breathe in breathe out

move on and break down

if everyone goes away

i will stay 

we push and pull

and i fall down sometiems

and im not letting go

you hold the other line 

cause there is a light

in your eyes...

hold on hold tight

from out of your sight

and everything keeps moving on

hold on hold tight

make it through another night

everyday there comes a song with the dawn 

we push and pull

and i fall down sometimes

and im not letting go

you hold the other line

cause there is a light in your eyes

breathe in and breathe out 

look left look right

to the moon and the night

everything under the stars is in your arms 

cause there is a light in your eyes... in your eyes 

to everyday happiness....

{emily} 

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change of plans...

 so small change in plans...

im no longer going to indiana this weekend.. but hopefully it will still be a good weekend...

anywho.... just a small update...

later!

-emily- 

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