As soon as i can make it official i will no longer be Greek..... i fully intend on giving up my letters!

Background, I am A zeta tau alpha... and i am on leadership for alpha omega.......

so i have come to a conclusion : I am too greek for the churchy guys, and to churchy for the greek guys, is there no in between?

although i don't really care for the greek guy, not my type, but iti s true.

Wow!!!  Last night was truely amazing!!! Church was amazing!!! God is AWESOME!!! my favorite part of the night was sitting at steak n' shake with two friends, one of which i haven't talked to in a long while, and talking about the scars that we have from silly accidents that we endured in the past. Nate you are a great friend, thanks for hanging out with us!


             P.S  Because of human error this doesn't look like we wanted it to!!! But you get the point........ 

Priceless: Catching up with an old friend!

Sweetest thing tonight...Nate Tallman paying for our food/milkshakes tonight at Steak n Shake...

Scariest thing Tonight...racing Nate Tallman down Rutherford...

SIGH............ I HAVE MISSED PHUSEBOX SO MUCH!!!!

This Semster has been packed with all kinds of fun things, and with it came great people.....The first pic is Me and My roommate Amy she has ben my sanity .... we live with slobs............The second is a picture of the ones that carried me through some of my more  tough of time minus Colleen they assisted MY WONDERFUL SAVIOR GOD!    mmmmmmmmmmmmm

    Wow the semster is coming to a close..... it really seems like just yesturday  that i was sitting a absolutly beautiful cabin with an amazing group of people, preparing for the semester.... where has time gone to? This samll little reflection has taking me back through this very unique and rough semester. It has truley been a bumpy ride... right off from the very day that we rturned from our trip all the way up to today. Let me start off by saying that i definitely tried to burn my candle at both ends, and the stress of all the things that i must do or get done got to me just a little, but it has also brought to a place in my life where i am thinking about dropping one of my extra activities, i am not sure that sorority life is for me. So some very hard thinking is going on in my part on whether or not to turn in my badge...... at the moment i am definitely at the crossroads, but i am leaning strongly towards one direction. Another thing is that as i look back i realize that i have come out of some very tough times even though i didn't think it was possible, and of course that is because God is Amazing!!!! Like after the robbery it took me a while to even feel comfortable in my own room. The heartbreak that i edured has made me alot stronger, and although the semester severed some freindships they eventually found their way back on track, there are a few that are still trying to work out the kinks, but hey rome wan't bult in a day.God is so amazing it is just awesome to think about all he has done in m life, and in AO. Although the semester was raher difficult over all i think that it was ood, i can't wait to see how next semester turns out.

So yeh the wind is blowing really hard, and i am pretty sure it almost knocked me over.

My roommate Emmy and I, were taking  out the trash yesturday to the dumpster, and it was raining. There is this little hill that we have to walk up to get there, we made it to the dumpster fine, but on the way back down i slipped hit the ground ( pretty hard) and slid the rest of the way down.... it hurt, but it was a fun ride, and i popped up laughing... hehe.

Wow Chasity and I teamed up together to have Thanksgiving dinner with our J-groups tonight, and it was an awsome time of fellowship, God truely provided, and we had so much fun!!! 

First off let me say that walk the line was an awesome movie!!!!! Reese Witherspoon was just amazing, i truely urge you to go see this movie. It is some what like Ray, and was an awesome portrayal of the Life of Jonny Cash.

Wow, the storm was amazing, i was at work painting the Empire state building for our King Kong promo, and just chillin with my fellow carmikians, when the wind swirled the rain up. It wasn't a tornado or anything, but the strongest wind i have ever experienced. The glass in the front was flexin in it was so strong. it was kinda exciting, is that werid? 

So i totally cut my hair today, and i love it, it is a lot shorter and a lot thinner.... man i feel better....... i helped out the preschool today by babysitting from 2:15- 4:15 it was a wonderful experience, i had fun with the kids, and got to watch veggie tales.... thats another one of those simple things in life, it was an over all great day, except for this one thing kept crossing my mind through out the day....mmmmmmm idk how to get rid of it, i have been praying about it..... idk.

Is it not wonderful when your classes get canceled, i love those days  when you walk up to the classroom , and there is a note hanging up that says French 1010 is canceled for today....... ahhhhhhh how refreshing.

Wow Michale Kelley was pretty much amazing and it. made me realize that, with the hectec life I live that God, even though it is unintentional, gets pushed back behind my daily routine, when it should be the other way around, and i am going to start making steps that will lead that way, God i wanna be addicted to you, i wanna breath you in, i want to push everything else behind YOU!!!! 

hmmmm i am so tired of school, i am ready to sleep in, and hang out with my friends whenever i want. UUUUGGGGGG it is so difficult to be a social college student........

doesn't it suck that you can not always save your friends? I hate to see my friends go through tough times, and it breaks my heart that all i can do is sit here and just watch them get hurt. i wish that there was something more i could do for them. For now prayer is all i have to offer.

wow, what can i say about the Fall Retreat, well to start off i absolutely enjoyed the atmosphere, what other place to take in all of Gods creation then a beautiful crisp fall setting. Coker Creek Village was amazing, I love the way that God works, how he pulled the ones he wanted out and sent them to a romote place, where cell phones were not accessible. The way He grouped us up in EVERY situation was for His purpose, and although I might not understand why, He will reveal in His time. The Speaker was AWESOME, and it amazes me how God told him exactly what to say that hit home with me ( that is a much deeper personal reason, but if you wanna know just ask). I really thoght that this weekend was going to be a getaway from the stresses of my life, but it turns out that God was really trying to show me something over the last couple of day, and although i mention it slightly right now, i am not yet at peace with any of it, and i am waiting for GODS green light to openly share, i am talking about it with my accountability partner, and that is the only person that needs to know rigth now. It took me most of the weekend to realize that God was actually answering a prayer, in a really weird twisted way, and that the rest of the answers are yet to come. You know one thing that has been bothering me is that i don't really feel like everyone, Ok maybe not everyone, but some people are not being completely honest with me right now, i feel like some of my friends are holding back somethings that they are feeling, and you know what i think that HONESTY is better then the weridness that comes from hiding something from somebody!! You know the truth hurts, but it helps ppl know what they are doing wrong. Another thing is that I would appreciate it when someone tells you one thing, that they will not back out on it, I hate (ok hate is to strong of a word, i dislike  Hypocrits, whatever though it has been a long weekend, and i am tired, like it even matter no one ever comments on this stuff anyways....... but it is a good place to vent.

God is so amazing, he is working with me in so many ways right now.For the last month i have felt so diconnected for some reason, and it was torture to feel the way that i did. I was desparately seeking his face, and couldn't figure out what was holding back. I didn't even recognize who i was anymore, so i prayed that he just take hold of my hand and pull me back to him, and there were certain situations that happened this weekend that directly placed me back at the place that i needed to be, mistakes that basically showed me, the old me doesn't exist anymore, and that the reason why i don't know who i am is because he is still working on me, he will always be working on me, but right now i am going through some major reconstruction.  I have had a lot of thoughts processing through my mind, and a lot of debri hit me, all of which was strong enough, that it would give anybody the urge to just give up, but that is not the answer, his timing!!!!!I keep rminding myself that he has PERFECT timing, sometimes that is a hard thought to grasp hold of, ok lets face it God himslef is a thought that is hard to grasp hold on, but Faith is helping with that. Last night, God was definitely present, He basically held my hand, and guided me throuh a situation that could have been very nerve racking, but he was by my side the whole entire time, and with Him there evrything that needed to be said was said, and a common ground was reached. I am glad that the situation went so well, and it is helpng me GROW!! Man there is so much to learn, and with that i know now that the thing that happened with the first guy mentioned in earlier blogs, was to show me that it is just not time for me to be in a relationship. The same with the newer guy, because he has really been an example to me, and i want to thank him for that!!! God has truely used you, to help guide me. WOW I HAVE JUST POURED  MY HEART OUT. I guess we can only sit back and enjoy the ride, God has so much to show us all. Til next time God Bless!!

Homecoming!!!!!!!!! WHAT A WEEK.....i have been pompping paper for the Sigma Chi ZETA TKE and AKA float for the last two weeks. But last night was the highlight of the experience. After waking up yesturday morning at 8 AM, then  had my longest day in class, then straight to work... i ended up at the Sigma Chi house at 11:45 maybe 12am then pompped and glued til alomost 7 in the morning. NO SLEEP FOR ALMOST 24 HOURS. That is rough. So after my grandmother got on to me for not sleeping i took a 2 hour nap then got up and got ready for work. 11:30- 6:30, NOW i sit here waiting to go to another homecoming competiton, and still working off of 2hrs of sleep...... who needs it....college kids don't sleep!!!! Well i am kinda grouchy, and i am sure that when i get the chance to sleep i will sleep REALLY GOOD!!!!! Well i guess i will just have some more caffine til then!! I am out!! GOD Bless!!!!!

I am pretty sure that i am just getting over this one guy, and now i am finding that i have crush on this other guy, why? That is soo not cool!! First of all i know that it is so impossible , that nothing cold ever be made from it, so why, may that is why, i don't know well I know God has me in his hands, and that if it is meant to be............

Remeber to SMILE!!!!

Wow it has been over a month since i posted, and alot has happened, it has litterally been an emotional rollercoaster. With the guy that i liked ( ok who am i kidding, i still kinda like him) dating another girl, and snubbing me, and just me thinking that i am superwoman ( burning the candle at both ends) and me feeling like blah!! i had a horrible dream last week, and it involved two different guys that i go to church with, ....... lets not go there, it is that bad!!! Idk i just don't know what is going on with me i feel so lost, in every aspect, i just don't feel like i am me any more. It is just mush right now!!!