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Erin:: lub my flower.



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July 15, 2009

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Highschool

College

Interests

GOD, Mime mime, the mimes, dancing, choreographing songs, singing, Music, music BUTTERFLIES, making people laugh, being silly, hanging out, Scrapbooking, Writing, writing blogging, Running, Camp, computers, Citrus Gum ♥! T&P
Allen'n Mathis!

Bands/Artists

I like a lot of stuff .. really! mostly christian stuff! lots of country, BRITT Nicole, jimmy Needham, skillet, Jeremy Camp.... lot of others

Movies

love comes sofly series, the notebook, vegietales, a walk to remember, one night with the king, when a stranger calls, princess bride,

Books

idk...

Other Website

one blog to read its this one-this is me. & im sorry.

okay i admit it.

 my totally well thought out blogs are really big copouts for what i truely mean! They are never really what i'd rather just say. i guess because we all think to be heard we have to be deep and have ...long-hardcore-i think about worldpeace at breakfast-and solve unanswered questions at lunch-and have life figured out by the time i get in my pjs- kinda people.

and maybe you do that, good-4-you   but i really don't.... i wake up with stumbling to the bathroom- i dont even close the door sometimes-i forget to brush my teeth- i look in my fridge 8 times before i decide nothing is in there that wasn't before- & i go to bed and fall asleep to half a sentence during a prayer.

 well. its not me, & i admit that. im simple, and im sick of being what i'm not to get people to hear what i have to say, i guess this is an apology .. to myself.

Last thing i apologize ....to you all on how i have been putting up this front of myself, i've been trying to be "different" because i feel like i am just not err... enough, and that's wrong because i know i am more than enough! it was really selfish of me and i'm sorry for my immaturity.i promise i will just be me though it might be hard for awhile i probably wouldn't have wrote this, if i hadnt gotten the email i got today.it made me realize a lot. im truely sorry.

 

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elaboration.

the elaboration...

so you think you can love me and leave me to die.

 They say they love me, but they watch me fall without offering a hand.if that's love i dont believe in it anymore.

you can't love and leave!!

you can love and let go, i do believe that. if you love then when they fall and won't take your hand you have to let them take the hard hit at the bottom or they will fall again.

So love allows discipline, but love also gives correction.

but i don't see how love leaves death to be.

what about the deserved punishment of death would love try and defend the guilty? no.

Now i am contradicting myself,right?

no, because for actions there is consequences, love never interferes with consequences.

 Love allows death.But love does not forsake death.

here we go again.

so you think you can love me and leave me to die

i need help. there's this pit i cant get out of,

you say you love me but i can barely hear you from the distant echos.you will do nothing to help me? then you dont love me, ill gladly take the punishment for my sins, my crime, my wrong,but i need help with getting out of this. i need you keep me going the right way even when i am tired, and starving.you don't know the way? then just walk with me . 2 is better than 1. but dont leave me with echoing "i love you"s.

so i once asked this question "if you love me would you let me do what i wanted, or would you stop me because you loved me."

 The answer I got was something like "i'll let you make your own choices and desisions!" no! (1 Corrinthians 13) LOVE NEVER FAILS!Love will interfere. Love dos not allow PAIN.  The correct answer is "because i love you i will stop you."

don't leave them to die!

 

"so you think you can love me and leave me to die.

You just watch me take my last breathe

and close these blue eyes.

I don't believe in love

because you are there but you won't try

you watch while the knife just stay stabbed in my side.

you kiss me

and take my already barely enough breathe away,

and you ignor my whispers of "help me!"

and turn to walk away.

forsake me, you mistake me. oh Lord, just take me.

i have nothing else left in this place.

not hope.not peace.not love.

i think death its time to face."

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just let me...

"so you think you can you love me & leave me to die"

 ive been thinking about that phrase,what a powerful statement, and right now i feel if i could speak out my life in one sentence, this is it. im left with the love that leaves me hurting, but hurting might be what i need.

ill elaborate on this later.

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Quick Remark:

bbs

hey. so life , my life is very ..chaotic right now.

 some of you guys have asked me whats up w. me,

& that i am acting funny, & yea, tell me bout it , i know.

its just like i have actually desired to clean, and i crave foods, and i have been very desicive, and moody .. but i dont really know whats going on with me much more than you do, well... i know what is going on, but i am not sure why really.

  its funny i cant explain much but in my quiet time with God i havent heard much, everytime i have i do quiet time this prayer request that ive been praying comes up, and it troubles me. and i really desire  to hear this request answered, and i would give up what i want out of it, just to have God answer with favor of my request even if it meant i had nothing to do with it for the rest of my life i would do it.

   im getting off here a few days, however long it takes, still be on myspace once in awhile, but i think what im looking for im not going to find here. God bless you guys, have a great week.

 -E-

" all my soul needs is all your love to cover me.

so all the world will see i am nothing , i am nothing without you."

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Rip Shelby & Jamie.

we lost 2 cw girls in a car accident, i didnt know them, but  everyone say a prayer for their families.

 ps. 56:8 says that God numbers our tears,

that he collects them in a jar.

I know God hears our cries, and there will many tears in Dickson county for these girls. God will hear us.

 

 

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