Why Kelly Doesn't Visit Doctors.

It's because that despite decades of school and selling their souls to The Infinite Evil, they really know nothing.

Case in point:: Yesterday's vaccine for meningitis.  Simple, really.  I could do this.  Jab, squirt, yank.  Bandaid.  *Applause*  Downright elementary.  And it's true, the procedure itself went without incident.  [Even if the nurse implied that since I was female, I was bound to get lost on the vast college campus.  Almost poked her in the beady eye with a tongue depressor for that.]

It was the waiting room that has me going.

[After 20 minutes of waiting in an office devoid of patients.]
"Are you Kelly Sullivan?"
"Yes."
[Internal monologue: Well, nobody else is here.  Watson, what would you deduce?]
"Um... We can't find your chart."  [Accusingly]  "You haven't been here in two years, you know."
[Internal monologue: With good reason.  And it was one year.]
"Er, so what should I do?"
"Well, we do have our archives...  They might be in there... Oh well.  We can just give it to you anyway.  Come on back."
[Internal monologue: Please, Tom Cruise, save me with your witchcraft before they can get close.]

So I received under-the-table medical attention.  In a doctor's office that can't keep its damned simple paperwork straight.  And these people are licensed to inject us with things?!  To treat and cure?!  To hold our lives in their oh-so incompetent hands?!  I had only been gone a year!  Last time, it was for paperwork certifying various other vaccinations, so I could attend Governor's School.  Yeah, they lost that, too.  Inbred, half-witted excuse of a medical malpractise... Makes me wonder whether I was supposed to have been back within the year.  They're probably doping me up with ebola.  Job security, and all.

And to top it all off, I ran almost literally into a small child with chicken pox, two years after my innoculation for said nastiness expired.  *Cues Psycho theme*  Aiiiiii!  Cute kid, but lethal.

So I've converted to Christian Science, because honestly, I'll have better luck praying for my cancer to go into remission than trusting it to their scurvy likes.

An Amusing Exchange Betwixt Siblings
"Kelly?  Are you here?"
"Yes.  My car's here.  That generally means --"
"Well I didn't see it!"
"...You had to walk right past it to get inside."
"I was watching the dog!"
"So you missed the 3,000-pound vehicle parked in front of the door?"

Good times, good times.

"The last time I navigated, we wound up in Kentucky."
"Well... Find printed instructions?"
"They were."

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After a lengthy stint with two vacuum cleaners, involving the cord getting tied around the couch, the hose wrapping around the wheels, the mouth trying to ingest its own said cord, cord almost decapitating me, vacuum either taking off randomly or trying to run me over -- backwards [no lie], and me like a smart one trying to vacuum things off of newspaper spread on the floor, it has been concluded that nobody will ever marry me for my domestic skills.  Current speculation suggests that I will need a fleet of maids, an accountant, and a chef in order to survive outside the home.

From the New York Times:

"Proposals after the Sept. 11 attacks to require visas for all foreign visitors were abandoned out of concerns that the demand would create an overwhelming bureaucratic workload, interfere with trade and tourism, and prompt Britain and other countries to impose the same requirement on Americans."

Lame, lame, lame.  What, like we're special??  "Impose?"  If the U.S. is going to make everyone else do it, whyyy can't they take the same medicine?

.....Disgruntlement.

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For the second time in 1.5 days, I have been foiled by an inanimate object.

This is depressing.

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Q.o.D.
"Can I look at your Hillary Duff soundtrack please?"
*Shocked silence*
"I CAN EXPLAIN!!!"

[It was just for one song, okay?!  Lmao.]

I smell like self-tanner and cigarettes, and can't quite scrub the Sharpie X's off my hands.  It's great.  Every Friday should be spent that way.  [Minus the whole Jessica's-car-towed-at-2:00-AM, but that's another story...]

And Shakespeare in the Park [ShiP?] is every Thursday-Saturday starting at sometime, all through the month of August.

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I Abhor Rain and Overcast Days.

Proud new owner of an iPod nano.
Currently accepting name ideas.

Graham Central Station tonight, woot-woot.  I'm excited; never been before.

We all need to go see Shakespeare in the Park -- they're doing Macbeth, and my friend//future prof Todd Seage is a murderer!  He is such an amazing actor, seriously.  If you're in a scene with him, you can't help but do better just because he's in it with you.  It's like he has this spark that takes other peoples' work and amplifies it.  It's really difficult to describe.  Even performing an audition scene with him is a treat.  And yes, I have constructed an altar.  Errrr...

Q.o.D
"The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any." -- Marilyn Monroe.

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