Haven't blogged as much lately, so figured I'd notify of the update.  :)

 

diaryofdaniel.wordpress.com

Much anticipated, I know.

 

diaryofdaniel.wordpress.com

 

I'd make it a link, but apparently phusebox won't do that anymore.

Read. Believe.

DiaryOfDaniel at Wordpress

Two days in a row!  Woohoo

Link

Hi everyone!  Mommy and Daddy have decided to move my blog to a different site.  I'll keep coming here to let you know when I've blogged for a while, though.  I wrote a new blog today:

DiaryOfDaniel.Wordpress.com

Hello again!

I apologize for being gone so long.  There has been a lot going on, and Mommy and Daddy have been awful busy.

Day care is back in session.  Mommy is doing classes and teaching during the day, and Daddy is at work.  I get to play with the other kids and the ladies at day care.  It's a lot of fun!  We have been learning a lot of cool stuff, and most of the kids are really nice.  And I'm going to be in the newspaper!!!  They took our picture for an upcoming story.  At last, my climb to top shall begin.  Now, how do I make sure that picture gets into the hands of a Pampers advertising exec...

I have a lot of cool new toys because of Christmas.  When I get a toy, I like to play with it until I have it all figured out.  After that, I only play with it if its super cool.  The newest toy is the rolling toy Daddy got me!  It's kinda like a tricycle, but there are no pedals.  Mommy and Daddy say I should sit on it and pull and push myself around with my feet.  Silly parents.  I have already determined that proper play consists of standing behind it and pushing it from a standing position.  This leaves the seat available for passengers and allows me a obtain very high speeds.

Mommy and Daddy got a new camera.  They say it's because I wont sit still and their old camera is always blurry.  I tried to apologize by flailing my arms rapidly whenever they got out the camera, but I don't think they understood.  But now we have a new camera, and it's super cool!  You can take pictures of moving stuff like the bath water coming out of the faucet.  The only bad thing is that they won't stop taking pictures of me.  I don't mind usually, but then they start trying to get me to sit down, smile, or look at them, all of which are terrible violations of my personal freedom.  I won't stand (or sit) for it!  But sneaky parents... that new camera is much faster.  With the old one, I could be completely out of the picture before it would actually shoot.  They'd check what the pic looked like and I wouldn't even be in it!  Even when I was slow, I could still move enough to give them nothing more than the back of my head.  Now, though, they're just too fast.  I have been told that pictures will soon begin to populate the blogosphere.

I guess I'll go now.  It has been so cold lately that I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time outside.  Sometimes Mommy and Daddy bundle me up and let me play for a couple minutes, but we don't get to go for walks like we used to.  Hopefully it will get warm soon so I can go back out to the playgroud.

I'm getting really good at this whole running thing.  Mommy and Daddy try to chase me around sometimes, but they only catch me when I let them.  Not only am I fast, but I'm also sneaky.  The key to ultimate escape is the art of deception.  Just as they are about to grab me, I drop to my knees, put my forehead against the floor, and crawl.  To take the camo to another level of awesome-ness, I bump into walls.  Besides doing excellent things for my hair style, Mommy and Daddy are instantly disoriented.  They stop following me, and laugh hysterically.  Little do they know that I am not a cute little baby, but am actually the prey which they so recently sought!  Sure, I end up slightly dizzy, but all I need is a moment to slip through the door of my house to safety.  Speaking of the house, I've started noticing a draft.  I think it would provide more safety if it had a roof.  Or walls.

On Halloween, the ladies at daycare took us around to a lot of nice people on campus.  We got HUGE bags of candy!!  Mommy and Daddy have let me have the animal crackers and the gerber fruit bites, but they won't let me have Pixie sticks.  Note to self  --
Parent Speak: "This candy probably isn't appropriate for a baby"
Translation: "Delicious!  We must keep this for ourselves!"

Gentle readers,

It has been a long time since I last wrote you.  I have been VERY busy.  I've been running around the house, playing a lot at daycare, celebrating my first birthday, and generally having a wonderful time.

Today, however, something terrible happened.  They conspired against me, I tell you!  I was running around the room at daycare when suddenly the floor jumped up and twisted, visciously knocking me over.  Then the wall leapt out and attacked me, violently banging my right cheek and eye.  Luckily, despite their evil plots, they didn't manage to harm me too much, but I yelled enough to let them know my displeasure.  I have a couple of battle scars, but Mommy and Daddy assure me that they'll fade.

Mommy and Daddy have been trying to teach me to play bass.  Daddy taught Mommy, and they think I'm old enough to try it.  Personally, I wish they had started when I was young.  I could be much better now.  As it is, I'm not sure if I'll ever catch up.


photo from JoshM



Daddy has more pictures on his site (see link above).  It's kinda lame, though, that his bass is broken.  The nut is messed up, so the G string actually rests on the first fret, so it's a Ab string now.  I'm not sure what any of that means, but it makes neat noise when Daddy hooks it up and I hit it hard.  Daddy said something about me being a natural at "Slap
Bass".  I think I'm also a natural at "Slap Kitty" and "Slap Mommy".

I've been kinda sick lately.  I know I need to sleep, but it just seems like a better idea to lie in bed and voice my opinions.  Maybe I'm just sick of walking everywhere!  Ever think about that, Mommy and Daddy?  I understand that it's the cutest thing you've ever seen, but my only chance of catching that elusive feline is by stalking, and stalking can only be done while crawling.  Besides, I've walked all the way across the room several times now, so I think you can trust that I'm "developing normally" (whatever that means).  For now, I'll walk when I feel like walking, but crawling is my general transportation of choice (after being carried upside-down, that is).

Today I turn 11 Months.  I'm really excited about next month because I get a cake with soccer stuff on it.  I like soccer a lot.  Sometimes, Daddy rolls me the ball, and then says "roll it to daddy!" which means chew vigorously.  And trust me-I do!

I'm still working on that walking stuff.  I don't like not having something to hang on to.  I take steps occasionally, but crawling is much faster and safer.  Plus Mommy and Daddy keep chasing me around on the floor, and there's no way I can get away if I'm trying to walk.  It's a lot of fun!  If they catch me, they tickle me, so I really have to stay on my toes (knees?)  Sometimes they get tired though, so I have to roll over and wait for them to catch up.  I guess they're old.

Mommy and Daddy have new friends.  They're named Mr. Thomas and Ms. Summer, and they go to church with us and live just down the road.  They're really nice, and Ms. Summer is pregnant!  She's having a son, and they named him Daniel, too.  Luckily for all of you, you can just remember that I'm the cute Daniel.

I've started trying to use cups and forks and spoons.  Forks and spoons are easy once the food is on them, but I can't really get food up there... especially if it's slimy.  Cups, on the other hand, are awesome!  Mommy got me some real milk!  No formula for me!  And I get the whole milk!  Not just 2% of it.  I don't really know what the means, but I get an extra 98%, so I'm happy.  I found it makes blowing raspberries even better.  Get a mouth full of milk, and let 'er rip.  Fountains of milk!  It was all over me, mommy... I think I saw some dripping off the light fixture.  Well, I guess I'm off to bed.  I'm told I can have a little homemade ice cream on my birthday, so I know exactly what I'll be dreaming about.

I got up early today so I'd have time to yell a bit before Mommy came to get me.  Just when I started yelling, Mommy woke up and came and got me.  She's a sneaky mommy.

Remember that story about the woman who swallowed the cat to catch the bird,  she swallowed the bird to catch the spider...?

I started teeting again, so I got a runny nose,  so I got an ear infection, so I got antibiotics, so I got diarrhea, so I got a diaper rash!  And not just normal diaper rash!  I hurts worse than anything.  Mommy said it was so bad that I was bleeding.  Now Mommy and Daddy are using some special cream.  It's hurting less now, and I'm feeling better.  I also get some awesome grape juice called Pedialyte.  It doesn't taste like any grape I've ever eaten, but it's yummy!  Since I'm still sick, Mommy and Daddy say I can sleep late in the morning, since it wouldn't be good to take me to the nursery.  I'll miss the other kids, but it'll be fun to play with Mommy and Daddy some more.

Mommy and Daddy have decided to use cotton training pants for a  while I still have a rash.  Something about helping me stay dry.  They feel cool, but they are... messy.  I think it's somehow related to the shower curtain on the floor in the living room.  Whatever I do, I'm supposed to make sure I do NOT play over the curtain.  I'd hate to make a mess on the nice clean shower curtain.  I think the carpet is much easier to clean.  They keep testing me by returning me to the shower curtain, but I make them proud by showing that I listen and returning promptly to the carpet.

Lately I've been exceptionally cute.  Mommy and Daddy have insisted on lots of pictures, even enlisting Aunt Sarah and Uncle Todd to serve as photographers.  I suppose I could post some of those.  My adoring public deserves them.

As many of you know, I triumphed early this week.  I am now one step closer to walking, literally.  To top it off, my first step was an attempt to escape Mommy.  That will teach her to try to take stuff out of my mouth.  Victory is mine.

The past couple days, I've been a bit under the weather.  My nose is so runny, I have a green moustache.  It makes it difficult to breathe and eat.  Nevertheless, I refuse to let Mommy or Daddy wipe my nose and I maintain that it is a gross violation of my personal space.  And by gross, I mean gross!  Mommy says I'm teething again and that's why I'm drooling so much right now.  Mommy keeps making me wear a bib
to keep my clothes clean.

Every night around 9:30, Mommy or Daddy wakes me up and feeds me so I won't get hungry and want a midnight snack.  A week or so ago, they tried skipping it.  Boy, was I angry around 11PM when I woke up with a rumbly belly!  I explained to them, in no uncertain terms, that it was a bad idea, and I demanded immediate sustenance.  They haven't tried skipping it again since then.  I think I got my point across.  I'll have them trained yet.

This weekend, Mommy, Daddy, and I are going to visit Grandmama and Grandpa.  Aunt Sarah and Uncle Todd are supposed to be there too.  My goal for the weekend: to not let my feet or bottom touch the floor.  I think with the assistance of Aunt Sarah and Grandmama, I'll succeed.  Wish me luck!

Alas, long was my absence.  Much has happened, much has been gained.  What lured me away from my faithful blogging?  What distraction came between me and my public?  Many a thing.

Daddy went on vacation, and I got to spend a week with Mommy, Grandmama, and Grandpa.  I had a good time, and received the appropriate level of attention and snuggles.  It was fun to see them, and we all had a lot of fun.

When Daddy returned, we went home.  Daddy started work, and Mommy and I got to spend a lot of time together.  Daddy has to go to work before I wake up in the morning, but he usually gets home about 5:00.  I miss him during the day, but Mommy takes very good care of me.  We play a lot, and I get to talk to Daddy when he calls Mommy.

Mommy has also started taking me to "Mother's Day Out" at church.  I go once a week, and I LOVE IT!  There are a lot of other kids to play with.  I get lots of attention, too, because I smile all the time.  Mommy says something about shopping and housework, but I just care about the cool toys and the nice people.  This fall, I'll get to go twice a week because Mommy will be taking classes.  I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Once again, Mommy and Daddy have been keeping secrets.  This whole time, I thought I had to hold on to something when I stand up.  Come to find out, it's just a rumor.  I can let go of everything and stand just fine.  I think it's part of a secret conspiracy to keep me small forever.  Oh parents, agents of repression, dark are your hearts.  Your pro-crawl beliefs have no place here.  I have conquered our home.  Next I shall conquer gravity.

I'm cutting tooth number 5.  Teeth are fun, because when I bite with them, people make more noise.  Now they think twice before attempting carpet fuzz extraction.

Right now I'm visiting Grandmama and Grandpa again.  It's a lot of fun here.  I also just got a bunch of new clothes, because there was a rack with a bunch of clothes for 50 and 80 cents.  I got some cool stuff.

I suppose I'm off again.  I will try to keep you all entertained.  Perhaps I will steal Daddy's nametag again and hide it in my secret hiding place.  I'm quite sure Mommy and Daddy haven't found it yet.  They looked for the nametag for hours last time.  Perhaps I'll steal Daddy's wallet and keys next time.  That way, he'll have to stay home and play with me.

Daddy and Mommy told me they opened me a college fund.  I don't know what college is (something about pizza), but 'fund' sounds like 'fun', so I'm excited.

My name is Daniel Benjamin Morgan, Destroyer of Worlds.  I am Eater of the Carpet Fuzz, Clearer of the Coffee Table, Puller of the Grass, Chomper of the Cell Phone, Stalker of the Kitty, Tipper of the Stroller.  Tremble before me, mere mortals.  Though darkness rises, I have my night light.  Though Mommy steals my carpet fuzz, I have my secret stash.  Though teeth tear gums, I have my biscuits.  Though all my weapons are stripped away, I still have...my cuteness.  I am faster than a speeding kitty, more wily than a coyote, taller than a beanstalk.  Hear me and obey.  From each of you, I demand a proclamation of your love.

PS  I love you, Mommy and Daddy!

Sure, I give Mommy a hard time.  I spit up on her clean pants.  I yelled when she had a headache.  But I love her bunches.  Daddy helped me make her a card, and I tried to go to sleep when I was supposed to.  Mommy woke up with a migraine this morning, but Daddy and Nana played with me until she felt better.  Papa was teaching a motorcycle class here in Cookeville, so I got to see Nana a lot!  She's fun.  She makes me laugh and plays neat games with me.  And she even changes my diaper!  I miss her, but I'll get to see her next weekend.

I love you Mommy!  Happy Mother's Day!

I bumped my head on the table today.  I haven't seen it, but Mommy and Daddy claim I have a big red mark on my face.  It hurt.  I cried.

That kitty is SO fast.  Today I got a handful of hair, but he slipped away before I could eat him.

If I were taller, I wouldn't need mommy and daddy to help.  You see, I can't quite reach the keyboard, so I need mommy or daddy to hold me so I can post.  As I've already spit on the keyboard once, they seem unwilling to just put it on the floor for me.  So... I haven't been on for a while, because mommy and daddy have been too busy with that ridiculous college thing they do to hold me while I post.  I think we need to have a talk about priorities.  Sheesh... some people's kids.

I have been working on crawling.  As I reported, I discovered that moving hands and knees together is more efficient and less painful.  Well, the next level of training is all about speed.  I've started doing laps, and have gotten pretty good.  Unfortunately, my knees are a little faster than my hands.  My nose hurts.  Who's Rudolph?

Mommy and Daddy got me an awesome swimming pool.  I wish it were a little deeper, but it's still fun.  Daddy posted some pictures.  They also got me a cool spiderman swimsuit.  It's a little big, but I'll grow into it.  We took it to Nana's house, but their cat, Jack, peed in it.  Now it smells funny, but I'm promised it will be cleaned before I use it again.  The only pee I want in there is... wait, no... I don't want pee in there.

I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for a living.  Nana got me some camo shorts.  They were a bit too big, and I was kinda sagging in them.  And I wasn't wearing a shirt.  Mommy didn't think sagging camo and shirtless was a good look for me.  I guess I won't be growing up to be an east Tennessee plumber.

More to come!  And by the way.... I'm still cute.

It seems I have surpassed both my mommy and daddy in number of remarks.  They try hard, but their lives are simply less dynamic than my own.  They live in a limited world, whereas mine is a magical realm, filled with plastic balls and nap time.  What adult experience could compete with such a life?

The other day, Daddy decided to give me a bath.  I think I really impressed him with my super-duper tip-roll-spin into the water.  I was working on the graceful ascension when Daddy scopped me from the water.  So much for an elegant ending.  Oh well, maybe he'll lighten up and let me finish next time.  It was going to be very impressive.  And I still don't understand why I can't bathe in more than 4 inches of water.

Also, I'm a little frustrated with Daddy.  He managed to teach Mommy how to drive a stick shift, but he didn't bother to teach me how to crawl.  This whole time, I've been using the hands-knees-tummy-face technique, which made my nose sore.  It was by sheer accident that I realized my folly and learned to reduce hands-knees-tummy-face into just hands-knees, which is much less painful.  I wonder if he'll teach me to swim by tossing me in.  Stinker.  Also, this new method increases my crawl rate.  I'll be catching that elusive feline by June, I believe-if not by speed, then by strategic timing.

Mommy and Daddy put me in these funny pants today.  Luckily, I have learned how to remove them.  Imagine their surprise when they went to retrieve me from my sleeptuary to find me pantless.  I have also spent much of the day removing and chewing on my hat, which Mommy and Daddy demand I wear when it is cold and wet or warm and sunny outside.  But my iron will prevailed, and the hat spent most of the day in the diaper bag.

Today, I experienced failure.  Victory was within my 8" reach, within my very hand, but I failed.  I had devised a clever - nay, ingenious plan to get my first taste of adult candy.  Phase I went well.  The box of easter candy hitting the floor, providing adequate candy dispersion.  Phase II was very well executed.  I managed to tuck one jelly bean under my leg while hurriedly shoving another into my mouth.  As expected, Daddy saw the one I was eating, and quickly removed it.  That is when I made my fatal mistake.  Had I waited just 5 more seconds, Daddy would have looked away, and I could have feasted on the second bean.  But no.  I was overtaken with passion, my desire burning as a fever.  When I could resist no longer, I extracted the second bean and bit violently, its sweet flavor dancing across my tongue.  But it was short lived.  Before I could even determine the flavor (sweet potato or green bean?), Daddy saw my stolen sweet, and took it.  Alas.  It was truly great.  I still mourn, but 'tis better to have tasted and lost.

Mommy is finally lightening up about what I can do, so I've spent a lot of time in the grass these past days.  It took a while to become acclimated to my new environment, so much grass touching was needed before I was comfortable.  I soon felt better, though, and discovered how easily grass can be transplanted from the ground to my mouth.  If I time it just right, Mommy and Daddy don't notice until it's too late.  Grass is much better than green beans.


I was also given some new bathmates.  Mommy picked me out some froggie toys, and they're really neat.  That brings the bath toy count to three fish, 1 duckie, and an assortment of froggie accessories.

On a more serious note, I wish I had more babies to play with.  Sundays were fun, but I've been sick lately, so I haven't gotten to go as much.  Last time I was around a baby, I discovered that his hand was even tastier than my own, and I must know if this is true of all other babies.  I am especially pleased to discover that, though biting my hand hurts, biting the hands of my friends doesn't hurt at all.  I have conquered pain!

Today I told Mommy and Daddy that I'm a big boy, certainly old enough for a blog of my own.  So here I am, ready to share my life with my avid readers.

First to the important stuff.  I drooled a lot today.  I blew some raspberries, but I really thought that I should concentrate my energy mainly on drooling.  It was hard work, but someone's got to do it, and much of the carpet still remains undrenched.  But tomorrow is another day!

Today, I found a fun new game.  I call it "Convincing Mommy and Daddy I'm Eating Things When I'm Really Not."  It makes Mommy and Daddy jump and get all excited and tell me no.  Daddy makes funny faces when he tries desperately to fish a non-existant object out of my mouth.  It's the perfect time to bite him.  I love my teeth!  I find the experience is enhanced by making growly noises and causing my face to turn red.  I think my performance is quite believable.  Tomorrow we'll play "Convincing Mommy and Daddy That I Gave Myself a Concussion When I Tipped Over."  These games are so much fun!

Pardon me for stopping so soon, but I have to go convince Mommy and Daddy that I'm exhausted and then scream once they put me in my bed.  That game is also so much fun.