As I grew
up though, I began to realize that something was missing. Sure I had scout
leaders, family, and my friends dad’s to spend time with. And they did what
they could to show me the ropes of manhood, but at the end of the day none of
them came home with me. All I had was my mother, and bless her heart she has
done every single thing that she could possibly do for me, and she has done it
well. But no matter how great of a mother you have, there will always be
something missing without a Father.

            I’ve always
loved my father, and he has always been good to me. I do remember times though,
when I was little, that I would cry and tell myself that if he really loved me
he would move back down to Tennessee. I couldn’t understand how he could love
me so much and still not want to be with me. As I’ve grown older, and hopefully
a little wiser, I’ve learned that things aren’t always as simple as we want
them to be.

            During the
past two years or so, my father and I have really started to connect. We’ve had
some really good conversations, and have been able to spend more time with each
other. He’s definitely not perfect, but I love him and I’m proud of him. I
still like to think about him and say, “Yeah, that’s my dad.” We were able to
spend some time together recently and I noticed something that really struck
me. Growing up I’d always noticed my dad’s hands. They are kind of bony, the
veins on the top of his hands tend to stick out; I mean they’re not candidates
to be hand models or anything, but they’re soft and still very strong.

            While
sitting and talking on one of his recent visits, I again looked down at his
distinct hands. And then, with a bit of surprise, compared his hands with mine.
Immediately I noticed the similarities. My hands had the same shape, and many
of the same features including the veins and the boniness. And for some reason
I felt a great sense of pride, because I knew that I had my father’s hands, and
that I am his son.

            Although
this is a story about my earthly father, it is very similar to the story of my
Heavenly Father. For most of my life, I grew up without my Father. It wasn’t
because He didn’t want to be there, it was because of the distance that was
between us due to the sin in my life. I tried to fill His void with many, many
different things. But at the end of the day, none of them satisfied, and I went
home alone.   

            My Father
has always been good to me. Even though there have been times that I have cried
to myself and thought “If He really loved me…”, I now realize (through His
wisdom) that I can’t fully understand everything He does, and I just have to
trust that He is doing what’s best for me. He is absolutely perfect, and I love
Him and I’m proud of Him. I enjoy thinking about Him and saying, “Yeah, He’s my
Dad.” The more we spend time together the more and more I realize that I have
my Father’s hands, and I am my Father’s son.

This has been the best Valentine’s Day ever. It wasn’t
because I had a special lady to spend it with, or because I got a lot of stuff.
Actually, the only thing I got today was a small box of chocolates from my mom
(which I am enjoying as I type!) But then, despite what many would have you
believe, this holiday isn’t about stuff, it’s about love. And that, my friend,
is something that I have in excess.

Those that know me well know that I eagerly await my
wedding day. It has, for quite some time, consumed a great portion of my
thoughts and consciousness. I was the kid, like Jerel, that prayed “Dear Jesus,
please return quickly, but I please don’t come until after I get married.”
Recently, i.e. the last year and a half or so, the desire to find my soul mate
has become even stronger. But as I look back, I realize that while I was
waiting for God to put the right woman in my path I wasn’t waiting patiently.

 I knew that
God knew what was best, and I knew that only in His time would I be blessed
with my wife. Yet even with that knowledge I often complained and was impatient
with God. He would tell me to wait and I would just say, “But I want it!” I was
acting very much like a small child. My Father was not giving me what I wanted,
when I wanted it, and I really didn’t like it.

I thank God that He is long-suffering, because
through His wisdom, grace, and mercy, I have arrived at a new destination along
my journey. I am, finally, content and happy with where I’m at and what I have.
It may be 6, 8, 10 years before I get married, and I’m honestly ok with that.
Sure, it seems far away, but so was the thought of graduating MTSU; and that is
fast approaching. In the mean time I will wait. Not in the impatient, resentful
manner that I have been though. I will enjoy and embrace my singleness and what
God will accomplish through it.

So yes, today was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever
had. I had a date this evening at my Lord’s house, what more could I ask for on
the day that is supposed to be about spending time with loved ones. I still
greatly desire to be with my wife, and I will continue to fervently pray for her,
and that God will mold me into a Christ-like husband. But I plan on enjoying
the journey, and I’m looking forward to growing ever closer to my true love,
El-Shaddai.

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            I can’t
begin to count all the times that I have heard, and used, the phrase “being on
fire for God”. I’m sure most of you that have been around church at all are
familiar with it. But I fear that like so many other “church words” we use that
sound righteous and elegant, we really have no concept of what it means. I came
to this conclusion tonight as I was tending a small campfire in my front yard.

            Fire. It’s
one of my most formidable foes, and one of the things I receive the most pleasure
from utilizing. Time and time again I rush to situations where fire is the
cause for the emergency. My brothers and I risk our lives to control and
ultimately vanquish the destructive beast. I know that each time I respond to a
call I might not come home. Yet, ironically, I joyfully created the beast in
the fire pit of my front yard this evening. Much pleasure was taken in starting
the fire. It grew into a beautiful collection of flames that danced in the
starlight. For quite some time I stood, gazing, mesmerized by both its
simplicity and complexity.

            Fire is a
beautiful thing. It’s usefulness and versatility has propelled us from the
Stone Age to the computer age. It powers our cars, heats our water, and dries
our clothes. It has the ability to provide light into the darkest abyss and
provide lifesaving warmth on frigid nights. So, in order to be on fire
for God, you must become like fire.

            There are
three substances required for fire. Heat, fuel, and oxygen. All three of these
absolutely must be present in order for fire to be created. If one is missing,
the fire will not start. If one runs out, i.e. the fuel is used up, then the
once roaring fire becomes a smoldering bed of ashen coals. Such is the life of
a Christian. There are certain things we require in order to grow, provide
light to the world, and be effective.

            First and
foremost we are required to have an actual relationship with God. That may seem
like a no-brainer, but from my experiences, it can be something that actually
gets overlooked and pushed to the side. It gets lost pursuing purity,
righteousness, and all those other qualities a Christian ‘ought’ to have. The
fact of the matter is this; pursue God first. He will lovingly accept
you where you are. How can one truly know what purity and righteousness are
unless s/he intimately knows the embodiment of those virtues? I promise you
can’t find it in a self-help book.

            Although it
is implied in the above paragraph, I feel the need to emphasize that a
relationship cannot exist without communication. God talks to you and you talk
back. It’s called prayer. And I know for me that is an area that I fall
embarrassingly short. I’m sure the amount of time it has taken me to write
these words is more than the amount of time I have spent in prayer these last
few days. Where do you stand? How long have you been on the Internet today? How
long have you prayed today? 

            Secondly, a
fire must be fed. Any of you who have gone camping know that it takes copious
amounts of wood and effort to keep a fire going. It requires constant
attention. If neglected for too long the fire quickly loses its brightness and
warmth. There are many ways Christians can be fed. But one of the most valuable
sources of fuel is a little book called the Bible. It contains the essence of
God, at least as much can be put into words and understood by humans. What
happens when you don’t put wood on a fire? It goes out. It gets smaller and
smaller and loses any and all usefulness. It doesn’t put out any light. There
is no warmth to be received from it. It just creates a lot of smoke. I don’t
think anyone looks at their walk and says “Oooh, I want to just blow smoke all
the time.” But it happens constantly. People, and yes I am included in that,
just end up blowing smoke.

            Perhaps like
me you have looked at your life as of late and realized the sad truth of what
you are, a smoke blower. You do the whole church thing. You don’t party or
sleep around or cuss. People would consider you as a good person. But the only
thing we’ve become effective at is starving our fire and producing something as
useless as smoke. I mean, what is smoke good for? Nothing! But, praise God, our
fire can never fully go out. As long as you have been saved through faith in
Christ Jesus, there are still some coals down in there somewhere; you cannot
lose your salvation.

            What is
going to be required of us is that we allow God to stir our coals. We must be
willing to let him knock off all the ash in our life. Some aspects of the
stirring may not be what we would choose for ourselves, but I’ve been choosing
for myself long enough. I want God to do what is necessary.

            And I must
do what is necessary. I have to feed myself. Prayer, Bible reading, fellowship;
these are all fuels for our fire that is ready and waiting. God can take our
coals, add some fuel, poke at them, and then before we realize it we no longer
just have coals. We have a flame! With the more fuel, heat, and oxygen that’s
added that small flame grows and grows. Eventually it grows into a large, light
emitting, consuming force. We’ve all seen the massive forest fires on the news
recently and the number of people they affect. Imagine if we allowed God to
make our fire that big. Oh what an impact we could have for His kingdom!

                Next
time you hear someone talking about being on fire for God, think about what it
takes to feed it. Think about the condition of your fire. Are you throwing
water on it, or are you putting some good oak on it that will burn long and
strong? I pray that it’s the latter.