I do believe I just heard turkies outside my house. Crazy I know. But it sure sounds like one or some are gobbling away outside my window. ahahahahahahaha. Hopefully its not the turkey call of death and before I know it I will be pecked at by crazy turkies....

.... or maybe this is just a little sign I am very stressed and need some rest

Whew. This morning was nuts. I still can't believe you guys got out for this...






But yay for you guys. So with this snow day, I didn't know what to expect at work this morning. I thought parents might not bring their kids due to the weather and older kids being out of school.... or...(dun dun dun)... we would have the normal kids, plus the kids that are normally in school....

I am normally in the three year old room, but was moved to the 4 and up room. Yeah, so to make a long story short, we had 40 kids in my room. With just me and one other girl. Yeah, that's right 40 kids. In one small room. We had two small tables, not enough chairs, or space, not enough snack. Crazy. But thankfully my boss was able to get someone else to come help and split the room up. Praise God. It was insane. Trying to get the attention of 40 kids is not easy, you have to be loud and demanding, without making them feel like things are out of control. But we did it and even got rewarded. My boss took us out to eat at Chef Wangs....


((There would be a picture here, but I look hideous in it.... so just imagine me and Brittney posing with the weird statue things in front of the restuarant.))
*imagine*

So, it was interesting, but kinda fun. I have been so stressed lately, and all I could do is just laugh. It was great. So praise God for that!

I hope everyone is having a great day! Hope to see most of you at church tonight!

And by the way, who esle thinks LOST should come on at 9 instead of 8? B/C if it did, we wouldn't have to miss it. Oh well, for me, that is what iTunes is for....

In John 8:31-32, Jesus told His followers, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disiples. You will know the truth and the truth will set you free."

Truthful thinking is defining myself by what God's Word says about me. It is looking at myself and the world around me through Jesus' eyes. The Bible tells us that we are remarkably and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that we are loved by God and were bought with a price so we could have fellowship with Him (John 3:16; 1 Corinthians 7:23)... Our tired and pessimistic spirit tells us we're not worth the effort; the world tells us to empower ourselves with positive self-talk. But Jesus assures us that we are loved by Him and created for His glory, and this truth will set us free. 

-Rachel Evans, taken from Journey



Ah that is so awesome! Just what I needed to read! God's truth will indeed set us free! You are not defined by this world or by circumstances, you are defined by God and Him alone. That is the truth. Let this set you free. We were not made to be held captive by anything. Seek God's truth and let Him set you free! The truth is so imporant in every aspect of our lives.

hmmmm...

i like penguins

I went to Starbucks tonight with Michael Dillon. We were sitting there talking about some stuff, it was all peaceful and nice and stuff. Well, this guy walked in and stood behind me. And then he bumped into me with his butt and said "Oh, I am sorry. I put my butt on you... it's clean though". Not even joking. And then this girl with him totally even told me "your welcome" as if this experience was something to be thankful for. Wow. 

Does anybody else have profound thougths in the shower, or is it just me?

"Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy"

This past week I was able to attend Passion '06. It was amazing. I posted earlier this week on how I was even able to attend, first amazing thing. And the worship and the speakers... wow.

So I think I realized God's purpose for me being there Wednesday afternoon. There were breakout sessions on Tuesday and Wednesday. Basically this meant you chose a speaker you wanted to hear and went to the place to hear them. On Wednesday I went to hear Beth Moore speak. Before then, I had not had the opportunity to hear her speak to a group of young women. She is one amazing speaker and woman of God. So many things she said pulled on my heart. I heard God speaking to me through her.

She spoke on the pits we get ourselves in. Ones that we either get in innocently, by slipping in, or just plain jumping in. I will be honest and say I am in a pit myself. One that I have been in for many years. One that I got thrown into at a young age. One that God revealed to me that I came to make my home. It has become so familiar. I have come to accept it as normal. There is also one that I slipped into, but by the grace of God, am getting pulled out of. But the one I was thrown in is the one He spoke to me about.

I learned that I don't belong in a pit. This is not my home. Jesus came to pull us out of these pits that we get ourselves in. We can get out, there is no pit we cannot get out of – no matter what it is.

I also learned that you will live out your belief system, you live out what you truly believe. Wow. That one slapped me right across my face.

Because of the many different situations in my life, some how, over the course of time, have shaped me. I came to believe what those situations told me personally. Lies about who I am and who I will be. My worth...

But those are lies. Satan comes to steal and destroy. And he has stolen much from me. But God came to give that back. And He is restoring me. He is helping me overcome these lies that were instilled me through the course of my life.

I really can live victoriously. Freedom.

So, all in all, Passion was awesome. If you ever get the opportunity to go, you better take it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

I cannot even begin to describe how I feel right now! But, I will try to explain...

See, I am a broke college student (not so much the college student part, but whatever...) and I wanted to go to Passion really bad. Things kept coming up and I was unable to buy a ticket. So, I just asked for one for Christmas. Christmas came...no ticket. *sad face* I was disappointed, but realized God has a reason for everything.

But today, the first day of Passion, my wonderful fiance calls and lets me know they got me a ticket!!! I am so filled with joy right now! I am bursting! I cried and smiled and rushed around to get ready! This is amazing! In just a few short minutes, amy, rachel and nate will be here to pick me up and we will be on our way to Passion!!! *really REALLY happy face*

God is amazing! I don't deserve such a wonderful gift. I cannot wait to experience Him in that place tonight!!!! eeekkkk! I am sooooooooooo excited!!!

tonight was fun! i met up with michael and amber's cousin bryan at starbucks... well, i got there and they were late. but thankfully hodg-e, tracie, and leslie were there. so i talked to them for a while, and the guys finally got there. we got out fuel and headed off on our adventure. and for your viewing pleasure:


our adventure started at walmart. like all good adventures should...


michael had bad breath...


and then he tried to make a move on this random guy... jk jk that is amber's cousin bryan


michael and his straw...


michael attacking me... a very scary thing, trust me!


but i am super woman, and escaped his attack


but because he is an evil villan he tried to come after me again... i had to get in my get-a-way boat...


and he discoverd me at the dock...


so we battled it out...




and i got him down...


but then, he pulled me down with him


and then we heard the cops and we quicky made up and hopped in the car and sped out of that joint. all in all it was fun times.

i hope everyone had a great night!

"restore us, O God; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved" -psalm 80:3

"cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall" -psalm 55:22

"be still, and know that I AM God" -psalm 46:10

"but i trust in You, O Lord; i say, 'You are my God.' my times are in Your hands" -psalm 31:14-15

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. even youths grow tierd and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and NOT grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" -isaiah 40:29-31

"do NOT worry about your life" -matthew 6:25

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" -phil. 3:6-7

"you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You" -isaiah 26:3

so... i like to think back sometimes. not to remain in the past, but to look back to where i was and where i am now.

today is november 19th.

last year this date, according to xanga *shutters with the thought* (jk jk), i was about to leave to go on the cruise. crazy stuff. and it also marked the 4th month of no dating for me.

and the year before, i was a senior at RHS. and according to the good 'ol journal, i was at WOC (world outreach church)... and confused. haha i was like that a lot. but those are l-o-n-g stories. but the thing that was OK to be confused about was my friendship with certain individuals and how that needed to change.

and the year before... was a sad day.

so really, since november 19th 2002, this time of year has not been the same... and since january 2004, winter hasn't been the same. funny how things change. and funny how certain songs, weather, and smells can bring back so many memories.

and funny how i get crazy thoughts like this when i am laying in bed...

but i guess you may be wondering the reason i am even posting... i am too actually. haha, delerium maybe starting to set in.

no, but, i like to do this, i guess, to see if i am growing... if i have changed. and my, oh my, have things changed!

have you ever thought about just how important change is? it is inevitable and essential for our growth.

and perhaps i will be posting more stuff about change, mainly due to the fact that my life is changing dramtically.

but there you have it kids. a late night, random thoughts post. with some color... haha i cant be that bold silly... i'll stick to the gray and black. simple.

i hope everyone has a great day!

last night at work, there was this little 4 year old girl in my room. she was talking and talking and talking... and looks up and says "your mom goes to college". not even joking. 

"We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus. We must break out of our own little world of experience into abandoned devotion to Him. Think who the New Testament says Jesus Christ is, and then think of the despicable meagerness of the miserable faith we exhibit by saying, "I haven't had this experience or that experience"! Think what faith in Jesus Christ claims and provides— He can present us faultless before the throne of God, inexpressibly pure, absolutely righteous, and profoundly justified. Stand in absolute adoring faith "in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God— and righteousness and sanctification and redemption . . ." ( 1 Corinthians 1:30 ). How dare we talk of making a sacrifice for the Son of God! We are saved from hell and total destruction, and then we talk about making sacrifices!

We must continually focus and firmly place our faith in Jesus Christ— not a "prayer meeting" Jesus Christ, or a "book" Jesus Christ, but the New Testament Jesus Christ, who is God Incarnate, and who ought to strike us dead at His feet. Our faith must be in the One from whom our salvation springs. Jesus Christ wants our absolute, unrestrained devotion to Himself. We can never experience Jesus Christ, or selfishly bind Him in the confines of our own hearts. Our faith must be built on strong determined confidence in Him.

It is because of our trusting in experience that we see the steadfast impatience of the Holy Spirit against unbelief. All of our fears are sinful, and we create our own fears by refusing to nourish ourselves in our faith. How can anyone who is identified with Jesus Christ suffer from doubt or fear! Our lives should be an absolute hymn of praise resulting from perfect, irrepressible, triumphant belief." -oswald chambers, my utmost for his highest (november 13)

wow. i read that and just had to post the enitire thing. that hit me really hard. i have to hand it all over to Him. and why should i even get wrapped up in it all in the first place. oh, what a silly daughter i have been. let your hearts be at rest

"Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light
Lift my hands and spin
See the light within..."

can i just be honest with you guys for a minute?

good.

pretty sure last night i was looking at some wedding dresses online. i found this designer (maggie sottero) that i LOVE and i saw a lot of beautiful dresses (25 to be exact-- 8 of which i loooooooooved)... and my dorky self even teared up... *shakes head*


i can't even imagine what i will do when i actually try them on...*sighs and shakes head some more*

i got my inspiration to do this from amy powers...

things i want to do before i die:
-get married (on my way to that one!)
-go to europe (london, italy... maybe some other places)
-see a sunset in hawaii
-go out west
-see a bear out in the wild (weird i know)
-see a moose (shhh)
-go to the north carolina coast and see a light house
-see a broadway show
-live in NYC (on my way to that one too!)
-go to upstate NY in the fall
-see niagra falls
-dance with somebody in the rain
-see starry night
-actually eat and enjoy food outside my 10 favorite foods haha
-at least once live out a moment like "spontaneous" by andy davis
-by gloves at macy's (ahh serendipity, what a great movie)
-go to a toy store in NY during christmas time
-see a WHOLE bunch of snow and play in it!
-allow God to work through me in ways that draw people closer to Him
-make a movie
-write a book
-become so intimate with God
-stop listening to satan's lies and BELIEVE God's truth
-get to know His heart, and His desires
-stop being so shy!
-be BOLD!
-let my heart be at rest


so those are just some... i don't want to bore you guys with all my aspirations. haha. so i am hungry. and i have to go to work soon. i hope everyone has a great night! and you should wish michael dillon a happy birthday! he's 19 today!

so i am sure most of you have read nathan's wonderful post on our engagement... but i want to post too! so here's the story from my point of view...

so, i got ready... and sat... and waited... little did i know nathan and the dirver were frantically trying to find a flower shop that was open. so finally, nathan comes, hands me some beautiful star gazer lillies (my favorite!) and we headed off for our first location. i never know where we are going on these "nathan dates" by the way. in the car, he had his iPod playing old jazzy music (40's-ish). i love that type of music... and swing. it makes me happy! i think i also just love that time period... people had such class then! anyway, back to the story, so i thought that was sweet and very thoughtful. so we went to this restaurant and we were waiting to be seated...and then this asian guy walks in the door and asks if we need help. "ummm, do you work here?" well, apparently he wasn't some strange guy from the streets, he did work there. after we were seated and got our food we kinda had to rush to get to our next location. well so funny story first. i was talking to amber while i was getting ready... and she said "what if he takes you back to the brooklyn bridge and tells you he loves you more than the brooklyn bridge again?" and i said, "it is way too cold for that! it is rainy AND cold!" well, lo and behold, we arrive at our next location, the brooklyn bridge. haha. all you can do is laugh at this situation. so nathan pulls out his video camera (still nothing unusual  for him) and he gave my his jacket to wear. and  we walked and walked...  my heel kept getting stuck in the cracks and it was funny. and we got near the top and there were some rose petals scattered about. well, i just assumed another couple had been up there... and then we were joking around about the CSI episode and the little girl who left gum as a trail. anyway, so we get to the top area and he leads me to a pile of rose petals... so EVEN at this point, i am still thinking that another couple had been there. silly me. so then, he hands me his video camera... and i started to wonder what was up... so he starts talking... and reaches in his pocket, pulls out the little white box and this is when i started flipping out...




so i said, "oh my gosh" A LOT



 and then he asked me to marry him!



so i still was flipping out... saying "oh my gosh" and... of course crying. haha. then i noticed two people standing off to the side taking pictures.. i thought, look at those tourist... taking pictures of this great photo oppt. well, actually, those tourist, were meredith and lane. nathan had sent them up there to video and take pictures! so then we posed for a few pictures...








that picture is great!

so then we headed off to our next location. we drove around for a while... we even drove through times square... it is a lot better driving through it at night! i felt like i was in a movie... and should be standing up with my head out of the sunroof! it was great! so we pulled up to the NHNY office... tim took us up to the 3rd floor... walked in the room, and everyone yelled congratulations! and threw rose petals at us!





so i was talking to ashley davis, and then nathan comes up and tells me he has one more thing. so he blindfolds me





leads me to a chair, and we sit down. i am flipping out (again)... all i hear is shuffling and giggling... and i am nervous... i have no idea what is going on... and then i hear the first chords to "bigger than us" by my FAVORITE musician, Andy Davis! nathan takes off the blindfold, and  there in front of me sits Andy Davis!!!





yeah, my face when i saw him...
pretty sure i cried... a lot




us with andy!

i was treated like a princess! nathan is the best guy and i love him so much! i am soooo incredibly blessed that God has brought us together! God has been so faithful to us, and is still writing the most beautiful love story for us! the night of october 22nd was the best and most romantic nights of my life! it was amazing!


so there you have it kids. the story from my point of view. it was great! and you know what else is great?! I'M  ACTUALLY ENGAGED!!! eeeek! so exciting!

"this is the Lord, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice" -isaiah 25:9

i hope everyone has a great day!

kids, NY was awesome! i will post more pictures... wednesday?...

and by the way:

Andy Davis
October 28th
12th and Porter
$7

who wants to go???

i am off to NYC! all due to a wonderful guy that treats me way too good! i  am  very excited, and nervous. i have never flown by myself before... did the whole subway thing by myself... hailed a cab... you know, all that stuff i am about to go and do. it is exciting that i will actually be staying in the city and not just spending one day there, but 5 days there! awesome! and i must say that i have always wanted to go to NY during the fall. ah wow. i am excited about that! central park in the fall-- must be amazing!

there are many people that are being way too kind to me for this trip. bethany, ellie and maria, and ashley davis and nathan of course!-- you guys are GREAT! love you all! thank you so much!

so i hope everyone has a great week. and fun at the 'bad fad night' at church tonight! somebody better take some pictures! well, adios mi amigos!

i think i will listen to tom petty now... it calms my nerves. haha.

do you ever go through and read stuff in your old journals? (yes, i have kept journals--- it is pretty much the best way for me to get all the thoughts out of my head) so i was reading through this random one i started last december. i was going through a lot then, and just need somewhere to write my thoughts out. so i was flipping through and reading ramdom entries. and i was amazed at some of the stuff i wrote. the main theme from december to march-- i was trying desperately to guard my heart. this provoked many thoughts as i read that. then i thought about the months after that... then some more big things popped out at me. and it is amazing to look at where i am now. but, i feel like i am not doing it exactly right. that is the message of my life. but that would be a different story entirely. but going back to the guarding my heart buisness. i am thankful that God helped me in that time to guard my heart. it was a very important time of development for me that has brought me to where i am today. but think about your heart. and how many times throughout that day that we leave it unguarded. and those wounds sure show up later down the road. give God your heart until He is ready to give it to somebody else.

ok. that is all.

i hope everyone has a great night!