Phusebox

These made me smile...

February 13 2006

THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2005:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
        [Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
        [No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
         [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
        [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
         [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
         [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
         [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
         [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
        [You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
        [Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
         [They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
        [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
       He probably IS the battery charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
         [Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
         [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
         [Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
         [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
         [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
         Did I read that sign right?