Have you ever tried and tried to reach someone and no matter the effort or the pain or the tears you allow them to see it never seems to get through? I just don't understand the hardness I see in some people. I can't stand to see someone cry, especially someone I love. I just don't understand. I don't understand lack of compassion or lack of gentleness, I guess in my mind that just comes with loving someone. I have tried so hard to always see the other person's side, to try and feel what they feel that maybe I've forgotten to feel what I feel. Maybe that explains the heaviness in my heart. I don't know what to do with all I feel. Some of it is so good and some of it is so hard, just like some people. Just hard. How do you get through to that? Better yet, how do you love that and not lose yourself? I am a hopeless romantic, someone who believes in fairytales and the butterfly feeling and walks in the park, and poetry and nights spent under the stars. I want all of that. I believe in loving one person heart, mind, body, and soul and committing completely. But how do you live by those beliefs with someone who doesn't display so many of them? I don't know the answer anymore. I thought everything was so right, I was so sure. Now I'm not sure of anything. How do you know what someone feels about you unless they show you? You can't just know all the time? How do you know someone is sorry if they don't say they are? You can't, or at least I can't. I believe in saying AND living. But sometimes I wonder how much longer that belief will persist. A little girl's dreams of her prince and happily ever after only last through so many poundings and sleepless-tear-filled nights. Mine seem to be succumbing. I lack the ability to revive them.