When I was 11 years old, my family was stricken with poverty. My mother lost her job that paid 10 dollars per hour, which in turn caused my family to become so poor, that it caused us to end up having to live in hotels.

I was bullied in school all the way up from kindergarten to eighth grade, while the teachers would turn their heads and pretend not to notice and not only that...they would join in on it.

I used to be known as a piro, because I used to enjoy setting buildings, trees, and other things ablaze (not all the time though). I was heavily influenced by drugs and alcohol by the age of 12. I got so involved in drug use that by the time I was thirteen, my life was consumed in drugs and alcohol 24hr/7days a week.

My mother began to prostitute herself out, so that my brother and I could have food on the table. Since my mother was getting to a point where all her prostitution money was going to drugs (which caused her to never be around anymore), I ended up staying with a 21 year old drug dealer and his 40 something year old dad. The whole time I was with them, his father would molest me and rape me. I was so scared to tell anybody, because he threatened to harm me if I did.

For three months, he would do this to me. He would drug me up and use this to his advantage. I had no one there for me, to protect from him. I wanted to tell his 21 year old son, but instead I found out something very devestating. I found out that He had just gotten out of Prison for molesting his 21 yr old son when he was 9 years old.

By the grace of God, I was arrested July 18, 2001, for being out past curfew. I spent three days at Juvenile before being transferred to Magnolia Academy. (This place was run like a military camp). After a month and a week, I was transferred to T.P.S. (Tennessee Prepratory School).

After being there for about two months, I moved in with my aunt and uncle. While living there, I introduced one of my cousins to drugs. When I left June 2, 2001, I was transferred back to Magnolia.

This place has a church group that would come every Monday night at 7:07. I would sometimes reject the message. But one night, while I was supposed to be asleep, I decided to listen to a radio that one of my fellow peers loaned me. I used to listen to rap, but for some reason I wasn't in the mood for rap.

I turned the station, until I came across a song. This song that was played was about cartoons being saved. (I like to draw anime and cartoons, so I decided to listen to this song). I decided to listen to the next song, but something was different. The song was about the saving grace of Jesus Christ; about how he went through so much so that we might be saved. I wept like a baby that night and cried out to God saying, " If you are real...Lord God if you are real, send me to a Christian home that I might learn more about your love and your grace. Seven days later, I moved into the Christian foster home that I live in right now.

That Sunday was my birthday, and on my birthday I received salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ. I started Going to Family Worship Center a year later (I was going to Fosterville Baptist at the time). I attended the Tennessee Youth Convention at Opryland hotel that next November and received the power of the Holy Spirit. God has done so much for me in the past five years.

He has called me into ministry, He has delivered me from the grips of Death, Hell and The Grave, and He has made me victorious over the bondage of sin and over the power of darkness. I have already preached a number of sermons at church. I have performed in numerous Christian drama events including: The Judgment, The scarecrow, The Easter Trilogy, and more. God is still doing great things in my life. I now a Sophomore at Middle Tennessee State University and have been successful for awhile.


But It doesn't end there. Well all have our high points and we all have our low pionts in life. After moving onto the campus of MTSU...I began to fall away from God. I picked up old habits in which I thought were gone. I began to pick up smoking again. I began using profanity again. I began lusting after the flesh of this Earth again. I began dwelling in old things I used to do before I knew God. I began picking up a hateful and very rebellious attitude just as I had done when I was thirteen.

But since the past few months, God has proven to me that He is still in control. Just as the Prodical's Son in the Bible hit rock bottom before he finally came back to his father, evidently so must I had to do before comming back to my Heavenly father in Heaven.

Everthing had been going downhill for me ever since I chose to move onto campus. My backback got stolen, along with my laptop, digital camera, some of my school books, notes, homework, and tests study guides. This caused me to quit my classes and fail the semester.

My bank account surprisingly went from $4,000 to -$1,000. Now I owe the bank more than I should. I have a job at pizza hut, but the money is barely enough for one week's worth of gas and a few days of food. I get paid every other week.

I used to get $500 from the State of Tennessee for being in foster care, but I haven't seen that money since I moved out, but it instead went down to $150 because I live on campus. And I haven't even gotten that much of it.

I used to sing in the choir and usher every Sunday at church, but now I don't. I sometimes find myself missing church just because of some dumb excuss like "NOT FELLING LIKE IT TODAY".

I found myself in these situations all because I chose to leave the path that God had set before me; the path of ministry. I found myself running the calling God had placed in my life. I haven't even practiced piano since I moved out, and piano is one of my most favorite things in the world...yet now I barely even know how to play.

So, not to long ago...when I was in a performance at church a called THE JUGEMENT, I rededicated myself to God...yet I still find it hard to do things the Christian way...harder than it was before.

But I want to quit running from God and run back to him. I want to quit being a pretender and become a contender. I don't want to be fake in my walk with Him, but I want to be real...as real as it gets...


I'm tired of not having the blessings I once had back when I did things God's way.

Sometimes God has to break us and tear us down to nothing before he can mold us and shape us into the being He has called us to be...kinda like how a potter molds and shapes clay...


When a potter puts the clay on the wheel...it looks like crap...but then he shapes it and molds it....and even tears it back down in order to fix it the way he wants...


The same goes in our walk with Jesus Christ...


Oh but when we go through the fires of life, just as the potter puts the clay in the kilm...we are being tested for our durability to stand within that fire...sometimes we fall apart...but the potter is always willing to begin the process over and over until he gets the masterpiece that he craves so dearly..

The same is with us and God...he will keep letting us go through the fires of life until we come out srong and durable in our walk with him...


It took a while for me to learn this, even after being told over and over again...but I realized how much I truely needed and rely on God after moving onto the campus of MSU...


If God be for you, who could be against you? For God has been here for me and is still here with me, even when he has to carry me in his loving arms to get me through the obstacles of life. I tell you one thing, if not for God, I would either be dead right now, in jail, or so consumed in drugs that I could have even become the thing in which I hated the most. I thank God for rescuing me from all of that.