Hey Everyone- Hope college and everything is going good ,sorry its been a while since I have updated just been super busy.....Here my hearts cry right now......Enjoy

Everything is going to be different, but most importantly I'm his again
and he's mine for good. I need You. I know You’re there. I’m reaching
out to You. Please, find me in all my weakness and rescue me. I do
remember those sweet days before, when You were all I had and I was
completely filled beyond any normal understanding. I was truly living with You,
every single day was about and for You. No distractions, no
strongholds, no blocks; You had me……

There was an unending joy that derived from a passion placed inside of
me by You. I was seeking, serving, sharing, leading, following, and
believing. I was kept up at night, smiling because of the peace and
content that lived inside of me. I awoke praising You for new mercy at dawn,
and a grace freely given to me; giving me a hope that made me soar. Not
only were You and I so tightly woven together, You gave me SO many
others to pour my heart into. Every new day that You allowed me to wake up
to was a gift and a challenge. There was such a strong spiritual bond,
that nothing could get me down ever.

When life is being taken advantage of, and you’re living the way that
you should…there is an unexplainable happiness that cannot escape. God
becomes so real and so evident in your life without you even knowing it.
Growing in God by reading His Word, that is so alive, and praying to
Him can never hurt you. It’s hard to keep to reading, or even to start. A
lot of people don’t seem to get anything out of it. Sooner or later
though, it’s inevitable that God begins to speak. I love running on His
time and allowing Him to work through me. But for that to happen, I know
that I must be usable for Him. I want and absolutely need to be an
available tool to help further the kingdom of God.

God’s given me a purpose. I know that my heart is on missions. I need
people. He requires all of my time and attention, and I’ve been away so
long that I realize what has got to happen. I refuse to be depressed
anymore. I refuse to focus all of my attention on a guy. It’s not me to
argue and fight and become this drama queen that has taken over my life.
That’s not what I’ve waited for. I can’t hope and pray forever that
things will just change and that he will actually put up a fight for me.
I’m a girl. I need to be needed and wanted. I love to love. If it’s
true, it doesn’t grow old. That is not me. So I’m coming back. And He’s
welcoming me with open arms…

Life is so short; a mere breath. I need to know at the end of the day
that I gave it my all (even in the simplest of things) to bring God
glory. He created us for that. I know why I’m here. I know that for me to
be truly alive and truly living, I have to die to myself and let God use
me to the uttermost. If I’m not being used, it becomes more and more
difficult to get out of the hole that I subconsciously dig. I know I’ve
fallen behind a ways. I know that everyone can look at my life and who’s
involved and subtly make their assumptions and form their opinions. I
also know that I could care less about what anyone thinks except for
God. I am taking out of my life what sets me back. I have to take on the
character of Christ and become the person He was so aptly shaping me to
be before I pulled back. I Love Him and I am so glad He’s in love with
me.