so.... today sux... im not at school... i guess i just needed a day to myself ... ya know to sit and think about things... i need to figure out who i am and what i want out of life... i mean im 16 ... thats to close to being an adult and im still here confuzed as to what it is i want to do when i get out of HS...  i dont know who my real friends are any more.... and not b/c they have turned into horrible ppl and no one has stabbed me in the back.... its just that ppl are changing... and i am changing or not changing.... my best friend my freshman year.... isnt the same person i meet the first day of school... i dont know who she is any more.... its all just soooo confuzing... but some times i think its just that every one is growing up.... but i still just want to be myself and act my age ... im NOT ready to grow up yet.... if i dont have to y shuld i?.... i just want to have fun for my last year and a half of skool... and for some reason thats why i love hangin w/ freshmen and sophomores... b/c they are still young and immature... and to me thats fun... i think thats also why all my friends do drug... b/c they ar soooo funny... and sara IS 18... and shes still free spirited... i love that girl... she keeps me goin every day ... i dont think ive ever gone in to 2nd period mad... i cant ....and of course there are others...  its just so hard... when u finally do realize that u and a friend are drifting b/c of change how do u tell them that this is happening w/ out them getting mad... b/c unless they see it to... the they will be mad.... or upset.... well i guess i really did need this day off... keep me in ur thoughts guys i love you all!!
~tRISH

sorry if u have read my xanga  i know its the same thing.... oh well...