quick update from last time - my great-grandmother is still holding on - barely though. my mom told me this morning that her eyes have glazed over - there's no color in them whatsoever - no pupil or anything. i think that might be the creepiest thing i have ever heard. so this weekend may be tough - keep my family in your prayers please!
and as far as prayers go you can add me to that list as well. i don't know what the deal is but i am having the hardest time lately. it is so frustrating. i know that the devil knows my weakest points - and, gosh darnit, if he hasn't hit me the hardest in those areas right now... it's awful. i don't usually ask for encouragement, but if you've got something right now i'd be okay with that. i feel so lost, lonely, unwanted... and i know it's satan. i know it is. i keep getting ahold of that for a little bit, but then i just lose it again. i need to conquer it. but i'm not there yet. it's a completely selfish thing. i know that. and i hate it. but i can't get on top of it.
life is not all bad, though. don't get my wrong. some really awesome things are happening - as always. that just seems to lurk in the back of my mind... and perhaps over my heart... and comes out frequently. for now i have laundry to do. and homework. and i'd like to get my room put together. and it's free weekends, maybe i need to make a few phone calls home... and to OKC of course. and florida. why are my friends so far away??