well.. this is what i felt on thursday and it doesn't involve anything i mean.. i was just super emotional.. mixed feelings were just a pain in the butt.. and yeah.. haha.. you guys are lucky.. i didn't post this on my myspace or xanga.. so yeah.. have fun enjoying it.. i really know you guys feel this way at times.. don't lie..

Fake Anything

I can no longer pretend,
ignoring the events affected.
I'll fake my smile
so you can't see my emotions.
I'll close my eyes
so you can no longer see my tears.
I"ll quit what I"m feeling
to impress and please you.
I'll quit everything I enjoy
to give up everything I haven't yet to do.
'I'm sorry' is not what I mean
because I'm only acting this way.
I gave up my life
to give mines to you to have and torture.
I won't try to be myself
because you forced me to.
I'll build a wall to hide inside
so you can't hear me crying for help.
I'll learn what apathy is
so when I finally feel what it is to not care.
I'll ignore what love is.
I'll forget what my friends were to me and live life alone.
I'll soon banish fron reality
and my emotions will rot away in the wind.
I'm gonna pretend I'm even alinve
so I canwait for death to open that door.
I'm never to run back to my "home"
but live in the shadows swallowed in the dark.
I'll fake this happiness I may feel,
I'll stab all comfort I may get to feel better.
I shall destroy those memories and erase that and my well-being.
I'm pretendto understand and lie the truth away.
All have lies to me and I'll no longer laugh.
I'll sing thing lullaby and hope you sleep
and I'll disappear.. no longer there..
I won't mean to and can't be lyrical.
but for now... I'll fake that laugh you hear.. smile..
I'll fake anything..