Life is better. All I needed was some time with a friend, so thanks Caitlin!!!

Something inside me is empty. I am missing something. I don't know what it is or how to find it. I am not as depressed anymore, but I am not myself. At least not my self I enjoy being, the happy and hyper one. I feel very empty and I really need it to be filled. I don't think I have a heart anymore, I think it was broken too many times.

Lets take a look back on junior year. It started off great with cross country. I improved my times and had soo many new friends. The cross country ended and life got hard to deal with. Many tears were shed. Track started and it started off okay. I finally improved, but then it started to suck and I hated the sport and half the team. Well regions came and track was okay because I made it to sectionals by placing second. Then my Granny passed away and other crap happened all in the same time span. So if I was to rate my junior year I would say it was a....C- or a D

So take that Junior year!

My Granny died, and I wasn't sad till I remembered how wonderful she really was. Now it is starting to hit me that I will never see her again. Seeing extended relatives I don't remember was extremely overwhelming. I need to get out and back into my life, but none of my friends are home.

awkward picture that was suppose to be an inside joke

APUSH!

Drama!

Yay Photography!

So this has been a boring yet stressful weekend. Boring in which I sat on my ass at the computer all weekend. Stressful in that my granny was taken of the resporator yesterday and we are waiting for her to die to know when to go down to Florida for her funeral. Also, I don't understand boys, but I am trying to turn over this new leaf of not caring, that I am afraid isn't working quite as well as I was hoping...

now for random pictures...

Congradulations Class of 2006!!!

This is what happends when your photography buddies find toilet paper in the dark room...and yes that is me...

The song Let's Do It in the Road by the Beatles is crazy! That is all they say, and "lets do it in the road" could refer to something kinky...

I am not a senior, so I am not out of school, but track is over so I feel it is. I ran in Chattanooga today for sectionals. I am bummed a little bit about getting 5th (top 4 go to state) even though I got a PR (personal record) of a 13:03 for 2 miles. But on the plus side I can eat all this candy left over from the chruch retreat that has been sitting on my living room floor with no need to feel bad about it, even though I kind of do.

So my brother got married this weekend...

I was a bridesmaid...

I had my first father/daughter dance with my father...

my aunt made a face out of her fruit peals and made it look as if it was smoking...

Chilly Willy was taken hostage...

We met crazy drunk people...

and I had a bloody nose while I was reading the prayers of the faithful during the wedding ceremony (but I don't have a picture of that!)

I am off to Chattanooga tomorrow for my brother's wedding and then again for SECTIONALS!!! I actually did it. I made the goal I set at the beginning of the season, to make sectionals. I ran a 13:10 for 2 miles and I got 2nd. I was in the lead for 6 laps, but the girl pacing off of me passed me. I think she got sick of being spitted on about 10 times ;)

So the words salmon and loaf should not be in the same sentence nor next to each other!

The retreat was absolutely amazing. I am crying right now becuase how much I am going to miss everyone. All the seniors have been outstanding this year. The retreat was amazing. We laughed and cried and watched nuns play air hockey and trying to kill us all with the puck. Sister Peter Verona is one crazy air hockey player! Well if I say anymore I won't make since because I think I am half dilerious.

The Jazz Fest was a lot of fun. Retreat tomorrow! Yipee!

I am not going to able to sleep tonight! I cannot stop eating the smarties in my room! I keep eating and if there isn't one in my mouth I feel lonely. If Smarties are bad I cannot imagine what drugs are like! Ohh my these make me hyper! I am getting soo jittery!

There is a reason my coach calls me Mockingbird. I have found some pretty cool things when I have been running. Lets see...there was the vodka bottle, the care bear balloon, the 6-pack of unopen beer, the cell phone cover, the baseball, the pair of glasses, the steeltoe key chain, and the fake leaf was pretty cool. Who finds a fake leaf outside??? But today was one of the best things, a scooter, but not any scooter, a Barbie scooter! I hope I didn't steal a little girl's scooter, but it was in the middle of no where. I have always wanted a scooter.

By The Way, 2 miles on a scooter is quite a workout.

I am pretty tired. I need sleep. I am also kind of bored since soo many people are at prom and  am stuck at home with nothing to do but vegetate at the computer.

On a side note, boys are confusing. Is there something or am I imagining things? hmm...confusing still.

Retreat in a week! I ge tto be a leader! I get to read my talk that I have been working on for months! And I get soo many hugs in that one night! I am sooo excited!

I am on top of the pansy faces in the world. Why can I talk about anything and the most random, pointless things, but when I am in the same room as the guy I like, I am the quietest one in there? Geez! I am a huge pansy face!

So is it weird if a girl asked a guy to hang out? Some think it is, but I don't want to miss a chance with someone or wait around for nothing. But then I don't want rejection. I also don't want to make things awkward. Hmm...

So today we had a track meet. I PRed in the 2 mile (13:12) and 2nd place and a 6:16 in the mile (4th place). Afterwards Nicky and I went to Smootie Bear then tonight Nicky, Megan, Chris, Jessa, Bricen, and I went to Starbucks for an hour and a half then afterwards I took a frappacino to John and then met everyone on the playground at Erma Siegel. We had soo much fun! I love those people! I can't wait to do something else with everyone, again!

Do you ever feel as if no one really likes you and that you don't really belong to a certain group of friends? Do you ever come home and start to cry for no reason? I wish it was easier to be happy then I wouldn't have to pretend sometimes.

Look how weird my evil cat is! Evil little bastard...yet so cute when sleeping!

I love Sprinklers! We got to run through them after practice and I was soaked! It was so much fun! I also love new crushes. I have been so happy that I am giddy and jsut goofy inside. I am so happy right now! =)

So, this is random, but I want to date a Catholic. I want to know what is it like dating someone who has the same values and beliefs as you. I wanna see if it is weird going to church with them. I htink it would be easier to talk to them and some things you wouldn't have to worry about. But, yah, I want to date a Catholic.

So, today was pretty amazing! After practice and eating at Panera for only $1.95, I was taking Megan home, in which I almost left her at Panera. While taking her home, all of a sudden we see this car lose control, hit a trash can and literally flew off the road. It was scary! Then after that adventure, I went to church for our annual mime of the Passion. It was fun. We played frisbee and swung and just had a lot of fun. You haven't lived until you see Jesus play frisbee in New Balances and a loin cloth! I love our youth group so much and I am really going to miss everyone.

so, it looks like I might be quiting track. I am sick of the sprinters, meets, female coaches, and the sport in general. Why run a sport I hate and workouts I hate and be the slowest at practice when I can start and running club? yah...quiting sounds amazing.

longest week in history??? I believe it is.