Geez I am so pissed off. On top of a lot of other crap, my mom just asked me if Bean and I were still friends, if we still talked. I am so sick and tired of her bringing up our relationship. I am still mad at him, I still hate his reason adn think they are stupid, I still think it is better this way, but I still can't stop thinking about him. I am still hurting. It still hurts to look at Bean and think "how can you still be happy and pretend nothing ever happened between us?" I started crying about it again when Salty says "when Bean kicked her to the curb." I hate that phrase. It makes me sound like I did something wrong, and I still feel like I brought it upon myself. Sure I try to hide it by saying Bean's an idiot, he's stupid, but I am hiding my tears still. I hate hiding this. I start to make myself believe I am okay, but then something comes up and I start crying so hard. I say everything is better than ever, but I'm not sure it is.