We've all done things in our lives that will forever change us and mold us into the people we eventually will be. But what about the things we fail to do? Those moments that we fail to act on and forever leaving ourselves having to deal with the notion that we will never know. See, I think those moments mold us more than any thing we actually do, those are the moments when we decide our morals, our thoughts, and who we really are deep down....

Ever since October of 2003 I have been on a diehard mission not to let any of those "moments" pass me by anymore. I was tired of playing the safe route and decided from now on I'm going to start living instead of observing. Since that day in October when my whole life changed forever, I believe I have done everything I can to make myself take advantage of the time I have here. Two and half years later, I find myself sitting on the edge of nowhere again, patiently waiting and letting life pass me by once again.

Last night in some sort of drunken theological trip I decided that my life long dream is not to design rollercoasters and themeparks, its living. In five years I don't want anyone who talks to me now on a daily basis to even know where I am in the world. To be sitting on the beach somewhere in the South-Pacific watching time stand still and the breeze from the ocean (along with my Pina Colada) to take me away. I think deep down I'm supposed to live that life, to do something besides be content.

Maybe its because my life is a mess write now, or because I have no car to hit the road for a weekend and work all these things out that's making me crazy. I just thought the older I got the less these ambitions would influence me, but just the opposite has happened. I feel like dropping all my classes, take the rest of my student loans, by a ticket somewhere off the coast of Fiji and for once in my life, do something daring....

I guess we'll see....