Negative

definitely a nay

I dont really think that you can sticky an age or age level onto something like this and be like "it's not okay when you're a senior, but once you graduate, it's fine." For one thing, that is far too arbitrary a time just to say "once you're in college, it's okay." Do I think that we take it out of hand? Yeah, for sure. But different people mature at different rates. It is a question for which I think there is no "definite" answer. Some of my best friends today are people I dated in high school, and likely wouldnt be friends with them now if I hadnt. It is bizarre enough, though. Like I said, there is no way you can set an age on it. *shrug*

well lets take in consideration God said "one man one woman for life", now i may be taking this far too literally, but i believe if it is God's will for you to be married then He already has that one person for you. and in His time you two will meet. Paul talks about in 2 Cor. about staying single and devote yourself to God. I do not believe in dating just to date or find the one. When it is time you will know. I can speak from experience. I am married to the one God has for me. I have dated and regret those times I could of been fully devoted to God and saved all of myself for my husband. I gave my heart away too many times. I also think to many people fool themselves into dating someone and thinking God is "telling" them to... and they start to give their heart away and think they will marry that person, when in reality they were the ones saying date this person and not God. and yes, God can help you learn from that, but in a way it is so very pointless. people say they date to find the one, but God knows the one. why not just wait for that love that is beyond anything you can ever dream of. it is so worth the wait. sorry about the rambling.... i just wanted to further my point. ok... that is it.

Well, I see your point about "for life," but generally when that phrase is used, it means starting from a certain point, i.e., the marriage. To me that says more about the concept of divorce than it does about anything pre-marriage. And yes, Paul does talk about that, but he is also actually talking about not getting married. Yes, I do believe that He already has someone for me. I dont agree with dating just to date, we see eye-to-eye there, but if I think someone is somebody that I could see myself with, I might try to date them. The Bible says nothing whatsoever specifically about dating. There are two ways we can think about that, being the Church of Christ viewpoint "if it's not there, we don't do it" or the more common "if it isnt there, it isnt a problem." I think mindset is all part of it. I am perfectly happy not dating anybody. Sure, there may even be someone that I want to date, but I dont stress over the fact that I'm not. I really have a problem with saying that dating is totally wrong. God doesnt speak to everyone the same way. While it is awesome that He made it clear the way He did for you (and others that I know of, not to single you out :-), lol), there are many others who have found the one that God had for them through dating someone, or even through those ridiculous online dating sites. God will use whichever way suits Him to reveal our mate to us.

It's not black and white really. I went through the first two and a half years of high school absolutely and totally convinced that dating in high school was a bad idea and I was not going to do it. And than I felt God leading me into a relationship in high school, and it continues to be a blessing to this day. I have seen this in the lives of others as well. But I have also seen a lot of people make a lot of mistakes in their dating decisions before college. But the same is true of many people who date during college. So really, it has little do with age, though that is a part of it because of the issue of maturity. Really though, the only thing one can rely is where God is leading them.

I think if you are mature enough and have a healthy relationship and dont suck face with a differant person each week then its good. You have to have take is seriously so that you don't regret anything that you would have to tell your future husband or wire about one day. Just have a healthy relationship and if all you want to so is makeout with that person all the time then its a physical relationship which is bad in high school or even in college. You have to be able to talk and like that person as much as you like hugging and snuggling up with them. God will tell you who you should and shouldn't date but its up to you and me to listen to him and say ok God i'll say no to that person. You just really have to be mature enough to handle it and not get to dependent on the person your dating. So to narrow it down. Listen to what God is telling you to do, be mature about it, dont take relationships for granted, know your standards and keep them, make sure you can handle it if it ends cause most of the time it will end.

Oh and make sure you like the person for their personality and not for the physical relationship. That needs to wait until marriage. Like the making out and stuff. But even the kissing should wait until you know the person well. That way you wont get attached to the physical relationship and you will get to know the person and have a healthy relationship. Its all about the healthy stuff lol

yay. my parents met in high school. if it wasn't for pre-college dating, i probably wouldn't exist.

I think the real question should be.. dating pre-high school. Thats a big negative. Dating someone in high school is okay, but they shouldn't totally think that they are going to get married, and base their entire life on them. Sometimes it works out, but most of the time, it doesn't and that just leaves people heartbroken. Its hard to say. Whats right for some people are totally and quite possibly different for another person. It gives them life experiences, which is a good thing. Allows them to look for flaws and to know better what type of person they may want to marry, by starting young. Yes, dating in high school is a good thing. Just don't make it a bad person, and take something from the relationship, not a broken heart.

i know that you guys aren't married yet and don't quite see my point of view. it is the hardest thing talking to your spouse about past relationships and hearing about their's. it is painful to hear about the times they gave their heart away and the times you did.and for the record, this is not just physical stuff, this is being "emotionally married" to someone, as in loving them and pouring yourself into them and the relationship. i don't believe in dating if it is not the one. what is the point in that. but that is merely my opinion, and i am the odd one out in this. and that is ok. this is what God has convicted me of. the fact is, there isn't an age that it is ok or not ok. it is all about God's timing and God's will.

Rachael, you are certainly not the odd one out in this. I agree with all that you have said. And, if I were now married to the one I THOUGHT was The One in high school I would be miserable. Amy, you are one of the few people who I can see being the exception to this "rule." I agree it's not black and white, and it's certainly more of a question of maturity rather than age, but I believe that God is absolutely sovereign and that He has a someone for me. And I'm absolutely NOT going to waste my time dating someone that I'm not going to marry. God led me into that committment a few years ago and it's so freeing to be able to be friends with guys and not think or wish or hope for anything more than friendship. When it's time, it's time, and right now I'm enjoying the single life. Of course this is not to say that it's not hard, because sometimes it is. Sometimes I think it would be fun to go on dates or just hang out with a guy who has some sort of romantic intentions, but in the long run I know that would be detrimental for my little heart. So, I'm waiting.

thanks elizabeth you said what i couldn't exactly put into words. i believe in waiting for the love that is beyond one's wildest imagination, rather than settling for the here and now.

I very strongly agree with Amy Powers. It is certainly about maturity, but moreso than it is about that, it is about being where God wants you when He wants you there and following the convictions He gives you. "the fact is, there isn't an age that it is ok or not ok. it is all about God's timing and God's will. " No, I actually do agree with you on this point. We may just be getting lost on semantics, but at the same time, not all Believers get the same convictions on things such as this, and I dont really think that we SHOULD all get the same convictions. But at the same time, it's like, I'm not telling you that you're wrong in how you were convicted, I just know that I'm NOT called to the exact same waiting/dating style in my life. That said, I am called to choose wisely, which I havent always done. I know that a relationship doesnt define me, so I wont be in one until I feel led. And I have prayed long and hard over this issue, and have no reason to believe that God is steering me away from the way I'm approaching it in my life. *shrug* Like I said, I understand your callings in that area, but God has not called me to the same approach.

nobody is telling you to graham. i am not forcing my opinons on anyone, i am just stating how i feel. and because i am the odd one out i guess you guys think that is what i am trying to do. i am not. and i am not judging anyone who feels different than me because almost everyone else does. and that is ok. so i retire becasue i don't feel like anyone gets me...

No, I guess that I was just trying to make sure what I was actually saying was what was coming across. I have no bad feelings about this discussion, I've kinda enjoyed it really. I hope you dont think I'm mad or upset with you or Elizabeth about it either. :-) All good in the neighborhood! Hehe. I really do like hearing your viewpoints.

One would have thought he asked if abortion should have been legalized. . . as for my stance on high school dating. . . I really don't care one way or the other. It may sound bad, but it seems like something that isn't worth getting worked up over. It works for some, not so much for others. I truely believe that God had his hand in a short ((but life changiing)) relationship I was in a couple of years ago, and for that I am eternally grateful. Like Rachael, I think it's dumb to date just for the sake of haing a boyfriend, but if there's a guy that you really get along with and you genuinely care about each other and have a fairly well established relationship, then why not.

Rachael, I agree with you as well. I think it takes spiritual maturity, age (life experience) and sometimes finding "the one" to realize how pointless relationships with anyone other than "the one" are. Could God lead you to that special person in high school? Absolutely, We can't put limits on God. The problem is that most (and I say most here because there are definietly exceptions) high schools do not see the big picture, do not have that all-satisfying relationship with God, and do not let Him lead their lives. High schools, before you get offended, please remeber that I said "most." The problem is that high school seems to be such a consuming time-and dating seems to be the main focus for many high schools. Most of the time it is not "Is this the person God has planned for me? Have I prayed dilgently about this? Is now the time?" Instead it is "Is he/she hot? Am I attracted to him/her? Do we have fun togerther? and maybe Will this relationship be displeasing to God?" etc. I know those things were definitely what I was thinking when I was in high school and there were not many people I knew who considered anything else besides that when choosing who to date. I, like Rachael, wish I could go back and time and never date anyone until Matt so that I could say "I waited until God gave you to me and I have not given my heart to anyone else." I know that God works all things for good, and am happy with how things turned out, but you get what I am saying. Imagine if you met the one God has planned for you and they looked you in the eyes and said "I have waited all of my life for you. There has been no one before you and there will be no one after you. I cherish you and you alone because you are a gift from God. How awesome would that make you feel?! The same goes for your spouse. Don't buy into the world's view of dating because it is satan's way of ruining awesome relationships created by God. As with all aspects of life, pray about where God is leading you and only go where He leads. Don't settle for anything less than God's best for your life, in dating and all other aspects. The life He has planned for you is better than anything you could ever imagine or create on your own.

funny how the whole moore family + an honorary moore think the same way... i say nay.

who is the honorary moore? me or elizabeth?

Me, silly!

well, I am not a Moore anymore, so I wasn't sure... :)

i say - wisdom... and when i think about my own life everything that would involve anything that would be close to being considered 'dating' in highschool was an unwise decision... but on the other hand it has made me into who i am (and continue to become) so in the end God is still sovereign...

i agree more with the "moore family + 1" most people on here are referring to "courting" and not "dating" because there is a difference like garrett...my parents dated off and on for 4 years, most of it in high school...and they both dated other people also. but i just feel that there are two types of people...the ones that date. they feel that they must "shop around" to find their love...while others, like me, have a gut feeling if i should be with the person or not. i know that God has me waiting and so far not dating in high school... but overall...i think that it takes maturity, pure spiritual maturity. because God is preparing you and your heart for a concrete way to give you a small glimpse of His love for you. but i dont think that you can put a time frame on it. when you are ready...no when God is ready for you to be with someone...you can't just say "hey im not in college yet. so i cant follow your plan for me right now..." i hope i got my pont across... _kt