So there are so many times when i feel like i am not at all making a difference but then there are times when i do..... Why do you think this is. I mean it is like days I exist and others i dont. But i feel likeevery day i am striving to show christ and be nice to everyone so what is the difference???? I just wish I could feel like people loved me enough to hang out with me because of me not because of what i can offer to them..... Of course how many times do i hang out with people and am only thinking of myself..... I dunno maybe im too much of a leach. Maybe im just not cool.... I just want to feel like people care that i am even around..... It is so funny how that works.... It is almost like so many people spend so much time absorbed in themselves that they miss the point that God has us here for..... I know i am guilty of that.... but i also feel like i am a nice guy and when i do not feel like anyone cares that i am even there I am hurt because i start searching myself wondering if im not the christian example God has called me to be.... Because if i were i think people would be drawn to me instead of pushed away. I know that the bible says the world will hate you but i am not in a sphere of people that should, also i think that i have done nothing to make them hate me in the ways of faith...... I just wish i could go down to the lobby of my dorm right now and know i am welcome.... but i can't..... I feel inhibited or somthing..... but then i think that is the devil and i should take power in the victory i have in jesus christ and not let this world get me down..... You ever feel like you have all this faith wrong? Like you are going at it wrong. Like there has to be a better more efficiant way....... Thats how i feel right now. Anyways there is a walk through jonathans head at this minute... see ya.