Bring me to paradiiisseeeeee....

I wish I could live life like how it is in the mangas. *sigh* Everything is awesome in mangas. I wish it was really that easy to find someone to love. And how there's always someone out there to catch you on the rebound. But all I've been was that average girl next door that would just go with the flow. I've been living such a boring life. I want some spazz in my life. I want to find something that would make me feel more alive. I've been watching anime as an escape from reality and envying those anime characters because they've got it going for them. And I've been sketching and drawing away...about how much I want something. All of my feelings are poured out through drawings from a girl choking another girl, from a girl about to jump off of a building. Although you'd know I'd never do those things. Since there aren't many buildings to jump off from. lol. I just want an interesting life. I've been rejected countless times. And I'm having second thoughts about going to freshman banquet. I don't know which group of friends to go with. So I guess to solve my dilemma I'll just stay home. And miss out on the fun and the inside jokes that go with it. And by the time I actually catch on, it's old news already. I've been anti-social lately. It's not the whole "emo" thing. I just...dunno. But yeah. I'm just...not as happy as I was in 8th grade.