it's 12:49. i'm working my scholarhship hours in the cope until like 2:30. everyone has left the room. there are crickets chirping. where did the crickets come from? i have no clue. i popped some popcorn. i wonder if they'd like any...i have to go to lab at 3:30...so that means a whole hour of nothing to do. oh lord...i just flipped back in my chair...

man...i figure the majority of the people who see my posts are in AO and i hope the majority of those people went last night. the word was awesome. sometimes, i just get so excited about God and what He's doing and ironically, i get excited about the fact that i have no idea what is about to happen 99% of the time...sometimes i just can't hold it in you know? i get giggly about it. you know that feeling when you start to like someone and every little thing they do is just awesome and you go around smiling and thinking of something they said to you? i've been that way lately about God. these last few nights, it's felt so good outside. i drive home way out in the country and the further i get from civilization, the better i can see the stars. sometimes it's just so overwhelming that i have to turn my music down and drive way under the speed limit so that i can take it in. and every time, i just get this picture of God smiling kind of smuggly and saying "okay girl...now tell me what boy can give you this? what accomplishment can make you feel like this?" and i smile and shake my head because there is no one and nothing else that can. He wants to have intimacy with ME. and half the time i'm so apathetic to it. but honestly, people go their entire lives searching to be loved...even just a little. shannon baron told me one time that she gets this picture of God spinning around in a swivel chair just thinking about us and going nuts...i mean like waving his arms and jumping up and down and just yelling "I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!" everyday, He finds ways to show that to me. and it's in ways that He knows mean the most to me. it's not just a generalized whatever- it's very personal. jerill said something last night about God giving us our own name that's just between you and Him. how cool is that? how awesome is it that He knows our hearts so well and He finds ways to love on us and knows exactly what we go weak in the knees for?